Morning SonRise

Stepping Down...

2008-12-24T22:01:00.002-07:00

I have been thinking a lot lately (I know, VERY uncommon for me :D) about Jesus . . .

What do you suppose it was like for Him to step down out of eternity into the finite? How do you think it felt for Him to give up the infinite for the fragile?? I marvel at the fact that He saw His whole life laid out before Him - every day planned, and seen far in advance, yet He still chose to come down to earth and be WITH us. He chose to be confined in a robe of flesh, and experience all that life has to offer - pain, fear, struggle, temtation, love, desire, joy, sorrow, lonliness - all of it!! I wonder what it must have been like for Him.

I also wonder if I would recognize Him . . . would I know Him as a child? Would I recognize my King? Would my heart beat a little faster? I wonder - do I know Him well enough that I would recognize Him walking down the street?? I desperately want to say "yes," but I'm not so sure . . .

Oh, that I would know Him - my Savior, my Lord, my King, my Father, my Friend, My Love - that I would KNOW Him intimately, and beautifully in every way!!

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May God meet you where you are, and fill you with His joy and peace!!

Love - Andrea

TOMS Shoes

2008-11-25T16:42:00.004-07:00

Check it out . . . I finally know what I want for Christmas. :)

Sweet Whisper

2008-11-24T14:15:00.002-07:00

I heard it . . . I finally heard it. About a week ago, I was driving along and I heard it - that still, soft whisper of love and tenderness that fills my heart and gets it beating wildly. It lasted only a moment, but the echo remained for a while and thrilled me more than I realized it ever could. I felt so loved! So full! So alive!

As I began to reflect on this (as I am FULLY aware that God is always with me, always near), I began to think about how I lived a good 3 years of my life with this voice in my heart and me head consistently. He was there guiding me, talking to me, laughing with me, crying with me, debating with me, teaching me, and just living life with me. As the voice began to fade, I found myself despondent (as most of you know from reading this blog). I understand now that I am in a different season . . . I am now in a winter season of pruning - that dreadful process of getting rid of anything that needs cutting out of my life. And being stubborn and quite slow to learn, this season is lasting quite a while. So, as you can imagine, the breeze of His voice, though brief, offered me a glimpse and a reminder of why I am enduring.

And it forced me to stop and think . . . I take it so for granted . . . I take HIM for granted, in almost every way. His presence, His voice, His guidance . . . His love. Because He was my constant companion for 3 years, it seemed like no big deal. I no longer thrilled at His voice and His touch. His attention. Yet, in this season of perceived emptiness, I find that I am starving for Him - even the slightest nod in my direction and feel faint with joy!

Why can't I be like that all the time? I should NEVER take Him for granted. I should never allow the fact that He is with me - the Creator God of the Universe, who is so far beyond me, so utterly different in every way - He is WITH ME, and that should blow my mind each and every minute of each and every day!! That should never become ho-hum, and I should NEVER cease to marvel at the fact that He chose me. When He could have chosen anyone else . . . so many others so much BETTER than me, so much better . . . yet He dug to the bottom, scraped me off the floor, and made me His own.

May we never cease to be amazed by His grace and mercy and love!

Passionately Pursuing God,
Andrea

PS - I also want to take a minute and say to each and every one of you who responded to my last post - THANK YOU!! Thank you for the encouragement, for the understanding, for the Scripture, and for the correction!! I am blessed beyond belief to have friends who will step up and tell my what I need to hear, even if I don't want to, who will encourage me with what God is teaching them, and who will stand by me when I seem to be more lost than found!! You guys are the BEST, and I love you!

Swallowed Whole

2008-10-26T11:20:00.003-06:00

So, I've been listening to a song by Paul Alan, "To Bring You Back," and I am disturbed and broken by the fact that it describes me perfectly . . . sans chorus.

"Are you thirsty, standing in the rain?
Not sure where you are or how you lost your way
Are you drowning
Some bar outside of town?
Searching for something given not found
A crowd of people totally alone
At the front door Worlds away from home . . .
Are you tired of chasing the wind?
Under water, do you aspire to breathe again?
Are you dying?
Is that the best that you can do?
Cause you can't find your place in a world that wasn't meant for you."

Yeah, that's me . . . well, all except for the "bar outside of town." I find that I am lost more and more each day. I keep waiting to see Him on the horizon, come to rescue me, and with each passing day I lost hope that will ever happen. I am trying everything to rekindle the love, rediscover the hope, build up the faith, and everything seems to have the complete opposite affect.

Ready for something ugly?? I have something to confess . . . I find that I am beginning to view God as some sadistic father or lover, trying to disguise abuse as "loving discipline" - something that will make us stronger and is for our "own good." I have found that the very things that should be endearing me to Him and drawing me closer to His heart, are in-fact, embittering me . . . . and it scares me. The more I search for God, the more I find He is absolutely nowhere to be found. I have never been more afraid of God in all my life . . . nor, I am afraid and ashamed to admit, have I ever loved Him so little . . .

I am afraid. I have begun to wonder if this is what it's like when God hardens a heart. Is that what's happening to me?? I don't want to!! I want to love Him, but for all I do and all I try my heart is getting harder and emptier with each beat. Perhaps I just continue to jack things up, and God is just letting me go with it. I am trying with ALL THAT I AM to cling to Him, but He is slipping away . . . I can't seem to connect with anyone anymore. I feel 100%, completely alone, and absolutely every way . . . .

My friend sent me the lyrics to another song that just solidified and completely describes my life, my heart, my soul . . .

"Can't See (Useless)" by Oingo Boingo

We were both cast forth from the same pale hand And we both moved freely in the shadowlands And we both were sculpted by the same cold wind And we both had armor that was made of tin
And I tried to find you, but it's useless And I tried to speak, but it was useless
And I felt so bad and I didn't know why
And it didn't get better as time went by I was there for you, but you turned away And I tried to find you, but you turned away
And I tried to find you, but it's useless And I tried to speak, but was useless And I tried to find you, but it's useless
And you're so close, but I can't see you And you're right there, but I can't see you And I feel so dumb and I didn't know what to do You were right there but I can't see you
And I realize that it's useless
And I want to fight, but it's useless
And I know you're there, but it's useless
And you're everywhere, but it's useless
And I tried to say it, but my tongue got tied
And I tried to say it, but I was numb inside
And I can't see you anymore
And my peace of mind has gone through the door
And I realize that it's useless
And I thought I was right, but it was useless And I know you're there, but it's useless And you're everywhere, but it's useless
And I can't see now in front of my nose
And I know you're there, and I know you're close And you're fading away - now you disappear And I try to focus, but I can't see clear
And I don't know why I feel this way
And I can't control myself anyway
And I don't know why I feel this way
And I can't control myself anyway
And I feel so bad, but it's useless
And I feel so bad, but it's useless
And I feel so bad, but it's useless
And I can't see... now in front of my face.

When, Oh Lord, will You come and rescue me?! I do my best to do Your will, all for fear that if I don't that will be it - I will have completely succeeded in completely destroying my life. I am being swallowed whole by the darkness that surrounds me, as it digests me slowly and completely . . . I am done, God. I am at the end. I am doing my best to cling to what You have taught me, but I feel my mind slipping and with it everything I have ever been sure about, everything I have ever known of You . . . oblivion is overcoming me, and I'm not sure I mind anymore.

If something doesn't change soon, I'm afraid I'm going to have to change the name of my blog to "Ramblings of Insanity."

Sorry to disturb you . . .

Wordle

2008-10-06T11:03:00.004-06:00

OK, so there is a site that my friend and fellow blogger showed me - it's called Wordle, and it makes a "word cloud" of a something you write, or paste into the box. It is SO COOL! Here are a couple I have done:

Song of Songs chapter 4

Robert Browning Poem

Beatitudes

God's Beauty. . .

2008-10-04T13:30:00.002-06:00

I am here in Vernon, AZ enjoying a weekend of solitude and silence (well, almost). Can I just say that it is amazing!!! God couldn't have planned a more perfect weekend for the two of us . . . I was trying to get some friends to come along, but it just didn't work out. Seems God wanted some alone time with me, and really I wanted some with Him too. The weather is PERFECT! It is cloudy and windy and cool . . . the view out the window is spectacular, and I am just soaking it all up.

In this quiet place, I have been thinking about God's beauty. How He has filled this earth with it. His poetry is written in the stars, if we have eyes to read it. His music fills the earth, if we have ears to hear it. His carpentry is all around us, if we have minds to recognize it. His dancing is played out among the trees and clouds, if have eyes to watch it (and feet to dance along). His canvas is stretched across the sky at sunset and sunrise, and we can see His brush strokes, if we just take the time to look. His pottery is all around, if have hearts to engage with it. His pottery, I think, is His favorite creation - you and I, we are His pottery. Most of it is chipped, if not completely broken, but that is where much of the beauty is seen. There is nothing more beautiful than a work of art, or a book, that is worn and used, and obviously enjoyed! It shows character. Scars show strength and the beauty that comes from those ashes is breathtaking.

God is the most amazing artist, isn't He? As much as we try, we cannot even come close!!

But here is the thing that has really touched me . . . we often hear and talk about how God has given us all of these beautiful things to enjoy. But, I'm not sure that's the case. Not that He doesn't want us to enjoy it, and finds delight when we do, but I do not think that is why He creates this beauty, this art. No. He creates for His own enjoyment. He writes and dances and sings and forms and paints for His own delight. For His own pleasure. The stars, the wind, the trees, the clouds, the sunsets, the oceans, the mountains, and each and every one of us gives Him immense pleasure. Think of all the places unseen and untouched by humans. Do you think they are blank? No! I bet they are the most beautiful places on earth or in the heavens. (The things we can see my telescope now . . . wow!! God has been enjoying those places since the beginning.)

As an artist I can understand this. I dance and sing and act because it fills me with joy, and gives me pleasure. I delight when others find pleasure in it, as well, but there are times, so many times, when I create for no one but myself. I dance in the living room, I sing in the car, and honestly I am always acting and being a bit crazy - you should see the conversations I have with myself - WHEW! All because it gives me joy (and keeps me sane). I hope that, perhaps, it gives God joy as well, to see His creation making something beautiful!

Darkness

2008-09-04T10:58:00.003-06:00

OK, so it's time I get this out . . . I have been mulling it over, chewing on it, processing through and all that junk for far too long . . . I need to "talk it through" to really process it, I think.

So, I'm in this place, this darkness, that I cannot even describe. Nothing, NOTHING that was a comfort to me before does ANYTHING for me now . . . and I feel lost. Disjointed. Confused. Reading the Word is like chewing on leather, and prayer just seems to just dissipate like mist. Where does that leave me?? Whenever I have had trouble in the past, I simply clung to God and He got me through. So, what happens when He is nowhere to be found - or so it seems? I feel like I'm just stumbling around in the darkness, like I'm drowning in the abyss of life. And I have been fighting it - fighting it like CRAZY!!! When I look back in my journal, I discover that this darkness has been coming down on me for WELL over a year now . . . but I have fought and fought and fought.

Well, a few months ago, I tried a different tactic - I just gave up. I didn't have the energy to fight anymore, and it seemed like God was removing anything and everything that was any comfort to me at all. One-by-one, piece-by-piece, God was pealing back the layers, to leave me not only lost and alone, but also naked and raw. So I shook my fist at God and said (I couldn't even yell anymore - the passion was completely GONE), "Fine. You know where I am God. You know how You made me, how I tick, and You know how to talk to me . . . so, if you ever want, I'm here." And I walked away. I was done. Empty.

Yet . . . I was faced with a problem . . . I have tasted of the world and all it has to offer, and it holds no appeal to me. I still desire the things of God - to do things God's way. The fruits of the world are empty, shallow, bitter. I want nothing of them. Yet the fruits of God seemed to have been ripped away from me . . . and I am just stuck. Starving and alone. I continued going through the motions, because I didn't know what else to do. The world was of no comfort, and the Church and every discipline I've ever learned came up empty . . . .

Well, I've been reading "The Dark Night of the Soul," by Saint John of the Cross . . . WHEW! What a read!! I have discovered that, well, first of all, can I just say that church people, including me, LOVE to throw this term around a lot, but now that I know what it is I don't think I'll do that any more - the dark night is no trifling thing, it is not just a rough patch, a tough time - it is SO MUCH DEEPER, so much more complex than that . . . I can't even say that is where I am right now - that is how thick and rich and deep this concept is. But there are some things in the book that have hit me and hit me HARD. He talks about God stripping us of all things, and how we feel lost, etc . . . but here is the thing, John's response to all of this was completely and TOTALLY opposite of mine. (Figures!) In this darkness, John pursued God even more relentlessly, more passionately, loving Him more than He has even been loved. He wrote love poems to God, and refused to be ignored. He pursued and wooed God!!

Then, I go to a conference and hear a message about Mother Teresa's life. Now, I have read and studied her life, and knew most of the details, but hadn't thought upon them in a while . . . so, imagine my . . . hmmm, shall I say "shock"? when I was reminded that she suffered for the majority of her life (at least in the end) a feeling of separation from God. Her response?? Yep!! She pursued Him, and loved Him more than He had ever been loved . . . "OK, God, it's starting to sink in."

Then I start seeing it everywhere . . . the embrace of darkness. For example: a caterpillar must EMBRACE the darkness in order to become a butterfly. And so . . . I have chosen to embrace this darkness, to be THANKFUL for it. To worship God even when I can't feel or understand His response. I have chosen to woo Him, to pursue and desire Him, just as I desire to be wooed, pursued, desired and loved. Writing Him love letters and poems. Singing to Him love songs, and dancing for Him. To think about Him when I go to sleep, to wonder what He is doing or how He feels. To obsess over Him, just as I would a lover. Just as I desire to be obsessed over.

This is my choice. I do not know if I will emerge from this a butterfly. I don't even know if I'll emerge from this at all, but that doesn't change my choice to get to know every little detail about Him, and to pursue Him until I breathe my very last breath.

Creating

2008-09-02T10:31:00.002-06:00

In the midst of this darkness that seems to be consuming my soul, as I wait for the SonRise, I find myself longing for the arts . . . for music, dance, theater, for that which is creative, beautiful . . . I long to be in it more than anything else - to let the music consume me, to be wrapped in it and laid to rest. I think it might be keeping me alive, keeping me sane.

I admit that I used to think of the performing arts (in which I have spent a lot of time and energy), and really ALL art, as something less than necessary. The arts are not a NEED, or so I have always thought. But as I have struggled these last few months, finding my only solace in music and dance and art, I have discovered quite the contrary, and have been really thinking a lot about this.

I wonder, what does it mean to be creative?? Obviously, the word "create" is the base of the word, so it means to create . . . to breathe life into something. But I think it is so much MORE than that. I think the focus needs to be taken away from the artist and the art on placed onto the recipient. I believe that when we are creative, we breathe life into and through the piece, so that those who are watching, listening, engaging are receiving life and hope and faith through it. I believe that is what art has to offer us. Life. Hope. Faith. Love. A glimpse of the beauty of God. It IS a need. Food and drink for the soul, the mind, the heart.

Look at all the civilizations around the world - each one has it's song, dance, art. There is not a single people group that I have ever heard of that does not have some sort of artistic expression they embrace.

Art is a gift from God. I believe that God intended for art to be an instrument of His beauty, a declaration of His love and divine embrace.

Waiting

2008-05-22T22:01:00.003-06:00

Waiting is so hard to do . . . I really am a product of my generation - I want it, and I want it NOW! Yet, as you can see, I've been going through a bit of a spiritual dry-spell lately, and can't seem to "shake" it. I have tried EVERYTHING that has worked in the past, and yet I still feel so disconnected from God and His life-giving passion.

Yet, the other day, as I meditated on my situation, I felt like God finally spoke to me - the first time in MONTHS. And He just said "wait, Andrea." Wait. UGH!! Torture - seriously!! So, I went to my Bible and just looked up every verse that has the word "wait" in it's various forms, to have SOMETHING to do while I wait. :)

I found the typical stuff - "Be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." But what I found lifted my spirit, and gave me a glimmer of hope that this will come to an end. . . Psalm 27:13-14, reminds me that I will yet see God's goodness here on earth, if I just wait for Him. Psalm 40:1 reminds me that when I wait patiently, God will turn to me and hear my cry. Psalm 130:5-6 reminds me that I need to just wait for Him with my whole being, and put my hope in His Word. I need to wait and watch for Him more than a watchman waits for the first sign of dawn.

I think the greatest lesson came to me in Isaiah 30:15-18, where God reminds me that I will find my salvation in repentance and rest, I will find my strength in quietness and trusting God. But if I refuse, if I try to get out of this my way. If I try to find a way to speed things up and bring things about before God beings them about, I will simply find myself in a worse position, just as the Israelites did. Like being in the middle of endless quicksand, the more I struggle, the more I try to find my way out, the deeper I sink. But if I just relax, and wait for God to save me and pull me out, then I will find true salvation and a joy beyond all imagining! Indeed, "blessed are those who wait for Him!"

So, I wait. I don't know how long. And every moment feels like a lifetime. Every second more painful than the last. It seems almost impossible to rest and be quiet, to repent and trust God. But I must force myself to do just that, for only then will I truly be rescued. Only then will the outcome be more than I can dream of. Only then will I get to experience all that God has for.

So, maybe God doesn't help those who help themselves (that, by the way, is no where in the Bible). Perhaps, because He is a God that likes to shake things up, and turns things around, God likes to help those who can't help themselves, so they just wait for Him knowing that He will!!

Krispy Kreme

2008-05-15T22:18:00.002-06:00

Sorry I have been gone for so long . . . After I got back from Nepal, my laptop decided it wanted to quit on me, and then my whoel family has been sick off-and-on, for about 3 weeks now. Also, I've been working on my Nepal blog (when I feel OK, and have the time and energy), so you can check it out at www.AndreaInNepal.blogspot.com. Hopefully I'll get it finished up before too long, so you can get the whole story . . . it's long, I just want to warn you, but if you want to know what we did, that's probably the best way to get all the juicy details.

Well, I got to visit a long-lost love of mine this morning - sweet, sweet Krispy Kreme. Ah, those donuts just do not compare!! They simply melt in your mouth and go directly to your thighs - it's a beautiful thing!

I don't know why I shared that with you . . . perhaps it is because I am feeling distant from God these days. I can't tell you why. I see Him all around me - His beauty, His love - yet I just cannot seem to connect to Him. It feels as though I am in a bubble, completely secluded from Him and His sweet, sweet touch. I am desperate for His presence, His touch, His scent . . . all that He is, all that He offers. Desperate. But for all that I do, all that I pray, all that I read, I just can't seem to reach Him. I just can't seem to find Him.

When I talked to my friend about this today, she said "Must be something big on the horizon." I pray this is true. I am desperate for this to be true. It has become my hope to get me through this season, to think that the day will come when I will sink my teeth in God and His Word, taste His sweetness, and have His truth stick to my thighs!

Ah, my long-lost Lover, come to me, that I may know you!!

A Lot On My Mind

2008-03-23T22:06:00.002-06:00

I'm getting ready to go to Nepal in about 8 hours . . . as you can imagine, I have a lot on my mind. I'm not even sure I'll get much sleep tonight, but that's OK, I'll have PLENTY of time to sleep on the flights! :)

I am so excited to go into this country and learn from the people, and see what God has planned for each of us. I look forward to His mighty work in and through me, and I am so aware that I am desperate for Him - I'm lost without Him!! And I find myself thinking a lot about what we'll be doing - helping the weak, the poor - orphans, women coming out of prostitution, sisters in Christ . . . I cannot wait to just serve my heart out and be humbled beyond explanation.

I also find myself thinking a lot about God, and what little I know and understand of Him. It is this feeling that I cannot comprehend Him - the more I discover, the more I realize I just don't understand. He is a mystery - a beautiful mystery!! And I know there is a lot of concern in the Christian world regarding "mysticism" in Christianity . . . yet, I have to wonder - can we truly be Christians, followers of Jesus Christ, God made flesh, fully God, fully man, without embracing the mysterious??

I mean, the trinity - one God, three persons - can you explain that? Jesus Christ living in me - isn't that mysterious?? Yet, it is true!! To embrace God is to embrace mystery. To embrace the fact that we can never FULLY know Him - at least here on this earth - we can never fully understand Him - we can never fully comprehend Him. And what a beautiful thing!! If we could understand Him, then wouldn't He be just like us?? Not God, but human . . . I want my God to be so far beyond my understanding that there are times when I just have to stand back in awe, and think "Wow!! God, I don't understand it, but it's beautiful, and it's all You!!!"

I have to say (and this is going to ruffle some feathers . . . . ) I'm a little tired of everyone in the Church expending so much energy pointing fingers at each other . . . can't you just hear the enemy LOVING this?? I'm tired of Christians saying that we have unconditional love . . . but is it really??? I mean, I have a nose piercing, and I like to dye my hair funky colors - would I be welcome in your church?? Would I be welcome to come and worship in my jeans and t-shirt?? What about wearing a hat?? See, we say we give out unconditional love, but I feel like it's more conditional - conditional upon people acting the way we think they should. Following those unspoken rules, and codes that have become expectations . . . . I don't think that you and I can fathom the fact that God LOVES the homosexual - even if they never change, He loves them desperately! He loves the molester, the murderer - He loves them all . . . now, I'm not saying that everyone goes to heaven - that's not biblical - but anyone CAN go, if they chose to walk away from their old life and follow Jesus . . . . but then, you and I expect IMMEDIATE change, don't we?? Yet, some of us have been Christians for YEARS, and even we have some pretty major issues!! I would argue that the person who struggles with their thoughts is just as bad as those living "sinful" lives . . . and how is it that we have decided what needs changing and what doesn't?? I mean, we just love to judge the homosexual, but what about that person who was divorced and remarried??? Their living in sin too, right?? Yet, we love to tell them, "Are you sorry?? Well, then, I'm sure God forgives you!" Now, God probably does forgive them - I can't speak to what God does and does not do - again, He is a mystery to me - but who are we to judge the one, unforgiving and definitely unloving, yet "unconditionally" love the other . . . . .

Can you tell that my mind is just reeling?? :) Lots going on in this brain, right now . . . hoping to find some rest, some encouragement in Nepal . . . maybe God can clarify some of this stuff for me. Or maybe you can!! Let me know what you think, but please be aware, I won't be able to reply back for about 2 weeks!!

All my love - no matter who you are, or what you've done! Andrea

Politics - UGH!!

2008-03-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that the upcoming election is a source of great . . . ummm . . . apathy for me. Not because I don't care, necessarily, but because I just really don't know what to look at, who to vote for . . . I just don't like anyone in this whole mess!!

To be honest, I used to be a right-wing, loud-mouthed republican. Obnoxiously so!! Not that being a republican is bad, I was just ignorantly so. But God has been broadening my view, and I am so blessed for it! Yet, I can't claim to be a Democrat, either . . . I really don't think I can claim to be anything right now, except a follower of Jesus, which (I feel) puts me in a very difficult spot.

See, here's my struggle. Jesus really wasn't political. Now, before I get a whole bunch of nasty, irate emails, let me explain how I feel. You see, Jesus did not seek power. Not at all! Not even in the slightest! In fact, He sought to be a servant. He sought the opposite of power. He was influential, because He invested in people, in individuals, and that's something entirely different. Some of the most influential people are NOT politicians. I think Jesus proved that influence and change comes from the bottom, not the top, as politicians like to think it does.

Here's my other "gripe" with politics, right now. It is my belief that the government is supposed to reflect the people. Am I correct in this?? Which is why our system works, if we all vote. But that just goes to prove that we cannot legislate morality. It can't be done!! Oh we try - especially as Christians, but you cannot tell someone what to believe, or how to feel on any given subject. We cannot make people live "moral lives." So, in fact, change - true change, from a Christian perspective - cannot come from the top. We cannot vote it in. A simple "change in power" is not the answer!! Change, in this country and across the globe, must come from the change of individual people. Which means you and I need to get off our keesters, and get out there and SHOW people what a Christian does - love, love, love. People are drawn to love. They are! Try it and watch what happens. And through that love they will be drawn to Jesus, the ONLY One who can truly change a person.

If we want change in America and beyond, people, it's got to seep up from the bottom, from people like you and me reaching out to those around us . . . then those politicians will never know what hit them!!

Thanks for listening to my ramblings today . . . really had to get that off my chest!! :)

Community

2008-02-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

You know, the answer to my loneliness is community . . . of course. God created us to be in contact with other people - people with whom we can talk and share and wonder and make stupid remarks and mistakes and be ourselves - honest, open, good, bad, and ugly - all that we are, not all that we think we should be. To share our thoughts, even if they are really stupid or way off the mark. Live together.

I ofter hear talk in the Church about the "Acts 2 Church," being the model for how we do Church now. It makes sense - it is the Biblical model set-forth by the Church founders as to how to be in community. How to live with one-another, encourage each other, etc.

Yet, I have to admit, the more I look at the model, and those Christians and the way they lived and loved, the more I am convinced that we are WAY off!! I look at other religions other cultures and they seem to get it . . . yet we think that by getting together once on the weekends for an hour and a half (and that's pushing - REALLY! "Why does our pastor think he has to talk so long?!? Doesn't he know we have THINGS TO DO?!?!" my goodness . . .) and then (and this is if we're REALLY serious!) another 2 hours once a week with our small group, and all of a sudden - TADA! - we're in community!!! Never mind we have to drive 30 minutes one-way, just to meet with these people . . . and we never really see them at any other time.

Is that really what the Acts 2 Church looked like?? I don't think so! They lived together, as in "with-in walking distant" - they met and ate together, they shared money (GASP!! Oh, here we go again - us Christians talking about money!), they shared time, thoughts, love, everything. This idea is so foreign to us, I believe, because we are such an individualistic society . . . and it's sad, really . . . individualistic and self-centered.

And yeah, I know, our culture looks different - we have cars, email, phones, etc . . . but have those things really aided our connectivity, or hindered it? It just gives us more excuses to not connect with our neighbors. Just because out culture looks different, I'm not so sure that gives us an excuse to re-define community.

I am getting ready to go to Nepal the end of March, and I am so excited to see how they live in comparison to us! One of the 10 poorest countries in the world, yet they are happy and generous and contented . . . WOW!! But, from what I have been learning, they understand community! The women do their laundry together, they cook together, and raise their kids together. It is rare that they would eat a meal with just their family, alone. People leave their doors open and share their time willingly. I can't wait to experience it! Yet, I have to admit, I almost dread it, because I'll have to come back home to the way we do things here . . . . I'm pretty sure this discontent will just get worse upon my return!

I'm not suggesting that I know the answer, how to change all this. I'm just suggesting that we begin to take a look at the "Biblical living" we think we're doing, and really hold it up to the standard of the Bible . . . I mean, let me ask you, isn't there a part of you that really longs to have this kind of friendship and community? Someone to whom you can run over and talk with, if you have an extra hour, instead of having to schedule the time a week out? I think everyone has this desire, and that is what drives us to the Internet, to email, to Facebook and Myspace - connectivity. Yet these things can only go so far . . .

This desire is in me . . . I long for it, and I believe it is a longing placed there by God. I would love to just live in the same neighborhood as a bunch of my friends and fellow Christ-followers, to meet weekly to just worship God in song, to share our thoughts on the Word we have been reading. To just be in community. To share meals. I want it to go beyond the church walls, beyond Bible study and small group. I don't know . . . I'm not even sure I can quite describe or explain what I long for . . . I suppose this means I will have to trust God to lead me and show me what to do with all this. :)

Lonliness

2008-02-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

How can it be that I am lonley? Living in a mass of people, yet the lonliness still consumes my heart. How can I be surrounded by family and friends, by smiling faces and friendly conversation, yet still feel alone?? I have friends on MySpace and Facebook. I "talk" with people on email and the phone, but that lonliness is still there. I meet with people almost daily and find great joy in the fellowship I find, yet I walk away still lonely.

There are so many things I could blame it on, point to as the culprit, so many deep things in my heart. And really, isn't that the way it is? There are so many people who are lonely, for so many different reasons. Loneliness is no respector of persons. I love that even Christ felt what it is to be lonely. His entire life was lived with the acute awareness of His Father's presence. Yet, in order for God to complete the work He had been planning since before time, the Father had to leave the Son at the very moment of His greatest despair - the cross. The Father, placing the sin of the world on the shoulders of Jesus, had to turn His face, unable to even look upon the black that was my sin on His Son. Lonliness - utter lonliness - is what Christ must have felt. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" The greatest pain He had yet experienced - the absence of His Father.

Ultimately I need to trust that God will use this lonliness to mold and shape me; to prepare me for whatever He is bringing next; to work His plan in and through me, just as He did in Christ. I love this quote from Henri Nouwen:
"To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of loneliness and
to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude. This requires not only
courage but also a strong faith. As hard as it is to believe that the dry desolate desert can yield
endless varieties of flowers, it is equally hard to imagine that our loneliness is hiding unknown
beauty."

I feel God asking me "are you willing?" Am I willing to turn this lonliness into a place of solitude with God? Am I willing to keep going, even if I must go alone as long as I live? And am I willing to find the flowers in the midst of desert, the beauty in the midst of the pain?

I hear God's voice loud and clear in all of this, "Do you trust me?"

To which I must reply "But I will trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me." (Psalm 13:5-6)

What is Valued

2008-01-26T21:05:00.001-07:00

"You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight."

Luke 16:15

This is Jesus talking to the Pharisees "who loved money." I love Jesus! Can I just say that?? I mean, I love how He seems to take everything and turn it upside down! He just comes in my nice and tidy life and messes things up!! And I love that about Him - He's rebellious, and being rebellious myself, I just LOVE it!!

Our pastor used this passage in his message a few weeks ago, and it has just been stirring my thoughts, and weighing on my heart. Of course, in context it is regarding money, but I believe this is true about everything we value! We value power, influence, success, money, individuality, freedom to ____________. These are the things that excite us, and make us work harder and step on more and more people to make it to the top!!

Yet, when we look at Scripture, we find that Jesus values humility, servant-hood, the weak and the poor, community, and freedom from ____________. He says the first shall be last, and the last shall be first; He tells us the least shall be greatest, and the greatest shall be least . . . now, you and I say we believe the Bible, so why do we still try to be first? To be greatest? I mean, if we truly believe the Bible, and believe it to be God's perfect truth, then shouldn't we all be fighting to be last? To be least? Yet we don't. I don't.

Oh God, help us to truly begin to value what You value! Give us a desire for humility, to be servants of all around us, to be with the weak and the poor, to live in community, and to be free from the chains and bondage of sin! We love you, and we want to live lives that reflect that love!!
In the mighty name of Jesus - Amen!

Risk

2008-01-26T20:50:00.000-07:00

Would you say ours is a faith of risk? No?? I wonder why that is . . . could it be that we are not willing for it to be?? I mean, it seems to be a faith of risk in the Bible, so what has changed??

I wonder if we have our focus too much on ministry, rather than on God. We are so worried about growing our ministry, and making sure it's "healthy" (by whose standards, by the way?), and wanting to be the next new BIG thing with the greatest idea that will bring in the hoards, and how to we get more people involved, and blah, blah, blah . . . . I wonder, friends, have we missed the boat??? Or, perhaps, we have quite the opposite problem . . . we're not willing to step out of the boat.

I think of Peter walking on water - Jesus bid him "Come" and he did!! He didn't look around at the wind and the waves and the circumstances and tell Jesus, "Hey, you know, the wind is blowing really strong right now, and those waves are awefully big, not to mention the fact that it is pitch black out here!! You know, it just seems to me, by my human logic, that the time just isn't right for this, so let's wait until tomorrow, when the storm has calmed down, and it's light . . . that makes more sense, right?" NO!! He ignored "common sense" (by every stretch of the imagination!!) and stepped right out . . . he kept his eyes on Jesus, ignoring all circumstances, ignoring the probable shouts of opposition coming from his "friends" in the boat, ignoring even the nagging thoughts in his own head telling him he was NUTS, and he (GASP!) trusted Jesus!!!

I have to be honest here, and tell you all that I am tired of fancy-schmancy ministry ideas, plans, schemes, whatever . . . I just want to follow Jesus, and I want to hang out with other people that want to follow Jesus. I want to know that the people in authority over me spiritually in the Church are just following Jesus. We need to stop worrying about the breadth of our ministries!! We need only worry about the depth of our relationship with God, and trust that as the roots grow deep, our reach will grow ever higher and farther!!

We need to step out of the boat! We need to ignore circumstances - often times I think God likes to work in the most strained, most awkward, most impossible circumstances to show off all the more! We need to simply keep our eyes on Jesus, and trust that He will take care of the details and circumstances, whatever they may be.

I am ashamed to think of all the times He has said to me "Oh you of little faith! Why did you doubt?" Probably too many to count, too many to remember . . . not that I want to.

God is Faithful!!! (Once again. . .)

2008-01-19T22:32:00.000-07:00

You'd think I'd know that by now, that I would trust Him and count on Him . . . instead I panic, freak-out, find myself all sweaty and crazy and then I begin to rant and rave. And then, God steps-in, faithfully doing what He has said He would do . . . granted, it was the 11th hour, but He did it . . . and because of when He did it and how (which, by the way, He did it in His perfect timing and way - as usual!) He gets ALL the glory.

We began Bible study this last week (the 17th) and I was all crazy because the study wasn't ready, and every time I'd sit down to write, it just wasn't there. So, finally, in complete desperation (which is probably where I need to be all the time anyway), I fell flat on my face Saturday night, and cried out "GOD!!! I need you!!! You want me to lead this study!!! You want us to learn how to Passionately Pursue You . . . but, I kinda need to get this done! I'm freaking out here!!!" Then, a quote I had written down in my notes for the study came to me (I think it's from AW Tozer - probably his book "The Pursuit of God" one of my FAVORITES!) "Our teachers have done all the seeking for us." WOW!!! Then God speaks gently (yet firmly) to me, "Andrea, you cannot passionately pursue me FOR them! They need to learn to do it for themselves!!"

And I began to realize that part of my irritation with all the books and Bible studies out there is the fact that the writer does all the seeking, digging, praying, learning, etc. for the reader . . . we are a generation of disciples who don't even know how to dig into and consume God's Word for ourselves. That's scary!!! Especially since it's not that hard. We don't need to go to a Bible college, or have a degree in theology - God has made His Word and His truth accessible to each and every one of us . . . we have so many tools and translations at our fingertips, and yet we consistently fail to use them . . . to even know HOW to use them. And I, as a teacher and writer, was adding to the problem.

From that point it flowed! Instead of adding my own thoughts and commentary, I am trying to discover how to guide the ladies into a study of God's Word in which they listen to God and what He is telling them. Because the fact is, your walk with God will not look like mine. Of course, there are many common factors, but I may have easily and quickly learned a lesson that you are struggling with. And something that may seem so obvious to you, may be so difficult for me to understand. Our relationship with God will be as unique as we are - and that's a BEAUTIFUL thing!!! So, I feel like my job as a teacher is not to tell you what I think it means, but to give you the tools to discover what God has for you to learn. Of course I still share my thoughts in my message, and my journey (ups, downs, goods, bads) with anyone who is willing to listen, but I don't want ANYONE to rely on what I think it means! I don't want ANYONE even following me (if you find yourself following me, let me warn you - YOU'RE FOLLOWING THE WRONG PERSON!!! We are to follow and pursue God alone!).

Isn't God glorious?? I praise Him for His faithfulness, His love, and the fact that constantly pulls me up out of the mud and shares His life with me!! Seek Him today, friend, and take some time to discover what He is just waiting to tell you!!!

Passionately Pursuing God

2008-01-04T22:19:00.001-07:00

I am currently in the process of writing a Bible study entitled "Passionately Pursuing God: Living a Life of Solitary Purpose." Basically it's about how we need to simply pursue God in all that we do - work, play, leisure, etc. And when we do, we run head-on into all that God has planned for us. I think we have a tendency in this culture to run after our dreams and visions and ideas, and hope that God tags along . . . and I just don't think it works out nearly as well that way.

However, I have to tell you that I am in a really strange place in my life - I could really, really, REALLY use your prayers!! I feel . . . lost . . . that's just the best way to describe it. Just lost. I'm beginning to wonder if this is really what God had in mind for Christian living - looking and living like everyone else, for the most part, with a little of Jesus sprinkled on top. A perpetual calendar of work, Bible studies, books to read, church attended, and some service thrown in. All while we maintain our really nice houses, our top-notch cars, and our fashionable wardrobes (for which we have to work hard to stay in shape so we look good in those clothes). Hey, I'm not pointing fingers at anyone except myself here. And as I write yet another Bible study (all while being guilty of the above), I have to wonder if I am just adding to the MASS of (dare I say useless??) information out there - we spend so much time reading books and doing Bible studies, when, perhaps, we should just be reading the Bible and living the life! I don't know . . .

And honestly, what REALLY does it look like to passionately pursue God?? Am I really in a position to write anything relevant on the topic?? Am I TRULY pursuing God in ALL that I do?? Somehow I doubt it. I mean I do all the typical things (the things all the books say I should do) - pray, study, journal, fast, etc. etc. etc. But when I read the gospels, and really look at Jesus and the example He set for us, I find a man that - while relevant - lived a life completely different from those around Him. I feel like I take the parts of Scripture I like, the parts that work for me here in the life I'm living, and over-contextualize the other parts . . . for example: Jesus told a man that he had to be "born again" to enter the kingdom of heaven. True - I believe it and teach it. However, Jesus told another man that he had to give up everything he had to enter the kingdom of heaven . . . now, here I like to really evaluate the scene, and talk about how this man's stuff was his god . . . yet, I can truly say the same about most Americans I meet. Stuff is our god . . . yet, somehow, we skip over the whole "give up everything" (and He meant to LITERALLY give it all to the poor!!!) and make it mean that we really need to just put God at the top of our list above our stuff, and that will suffice. But will it? Now, I am not suggesting that we ditch context, as context is indeed important, I just think we like to OVERcontextualize to make it irrelevant (or perhaps just a little less relevant) to our own lives, and therefore easier to stomach. I tend to use context as an excuse, at times, to ignore the hard fact that Jesus has truly, literally, in every way called us to be different, to live differently, to not be of this world . . . . and I have to say that I do not think my life looks anything like that.

Honestly, I'm not sure what a life lived like that would really look like here-and-now . . . I wish I could say I did.

So, what does all that mean??? I don't know . . . I wish I did. I'm just in this tumultuous place of really questioning "Christianity," in general, as it seems to be right now (or at least how it seems to be in my eyes). It just feels so . . . stale, so unadventurous, so . . . un-Christlike. I could be wrong - I probably am (I think I'm wrong more times than not), but I can't help but wonder at all this information that we perpetually have to ciphon through . . . I have to tell you that I am SO TIRED of Christian books . . . yet here I am adding yet another pile of paper to the cycle of information that we wade through, yet never seem to really put into practice. And, again, by "we" I mean ME.

And, you know . . . it could be that it's just MY life that is stale and unadventurous and un-Christlike, and once-again, I am finding a way to blame someone else - "Christianity." Again, I think that I am the guiltiest of all, here.

I wonder if God ever just wants to scream at me from the heaven's and say "Stop reading about it, and START LIVING IT!! Start loving your neighbor - YES, your LITERAL neighbor!! Start taking care of the poor, the orphans, and the widows - yes, I really mean the poor people, the kids without parents, and the women who are left alone with no one to care for them!!!! Teach by setting an example, Andrea, not by putting mere words on a page - I already have a lot of those . . . . "

Hmmmm . . . . I don't know. I just don't know . . . I'm not sure this really helped. I think I'm more lost than ever, now. Sorry.

Abortion Ticker

2007-12-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

If you check out the right hand side of my blog, you'll notice an abortion ticker. I know that this is a "hot topic" for some, for many different reasons . . . I am pro-life, as I would imagine you can guess, but let me go a little deeper with you regarding my heart in this issue.

It is true that I mourn the loss of life, but I know that child is resting in the sovereign hands of their Creator, so that always brings me peace in that regard. I actually mourn more for the woman who made the choice - for me, this ticker actually represents all the women who have been fooled, forgotten, and left for "dead" themselves.

I grieve so deeply for these women for so many reasons . . . most of them did not come to the choice of having an abortion easily. We often talk about using aborion as "birth control" and I am sure there are those out there who just get them, feel no remorse and go on with their lives (and what a trgedy that they have gone so far as to feel nothing in regard to the decision - I mourn their loss of innocence). Yet, most of these women have made this choice because they have been convinced by the enemy of their souls that they have no other choice. They walk into the clinic feeling as though they have the weight of the world on their shoulders, and somehow they feel that this will relieve their burden. All will be better when it is done . . .

Then, they walk out the back door feeling even worse, for Satan then turns the tables on them. He goes from convincing them that they have no other choice and that everything will be OK, to letting them know what a failure they are, what a wretched person, a murderer, etc, etc. I have yet to meet a woman who has had an abortion who hasn't been completely ruined by the choice. As each year passes and the due date comes and goes, they consider the age their child would have been, wondering what they would have been like - how they would have looked, what they would have liked, what color their eyes and hair might have been, what kind of personality, etc. The burden lays heavy on their hearts, getting heavier with each passing year - the enemy has them right where he wants them. They begin to assume that everything that goes wrong in their life is a result of this choice, sure that God is now out to get them (after-all, isn't that what most Christians would like for them to believe - that there is grace and mercy for us, but not them??)

I believe the most unfortunate part of this whole thing is that they end up feeling that there is nowhere they can go to talk about it. They cannot go to someone who is pro-choice, for surely they will just blow it off as no big deal, and wonder why they feel so bad about exercising their "right." While going to someone is pro-life is completely out of the question, for surely they will be blamed and judged and looked-down upon, finding no empathy or sorrow, no healing or forgiveness, no grace, mercy, or compassion. They feel stuck with their pain, completely alone.

So, when I consider myself pro-life, I am thinking as much (if not more) about the life of the woman making the choice, as I am about the child. When we pray about this matter, I believe we really need to take the time to think about the women, and all they are going through. We must pray for the mom and the baby, and even when the baby is gone, we must STILL be there for the mom, showing her that Christ is the only One who can truly help them heal from the great loss they have suffered!

Season of Giving??

2007-12-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about how we "kick-off" the Season of Giving with a day - a single day - called Thanksgiving. Funny. We spend one day being thankful, and then a whole month asking and whining for more stuff . . . . seems backwards, doesn't it? Seems we should spend a whole month being thankful for all we've been given, and a day, nay a mere moment thinking about what we might want.

How did it get here?? How have we gotten so far off course??

I saw the Nativity Story movie the other day, and I was so enthralled with seeing the reality (or at least this version of it) of what Christmas truly is all about. I was moved by the emotion of Joseph trying to find a suitable place for Mary to give birth, by all he gave up for a woman he barely knew and child that was not biologically his; I was moved by Mary's faith, her honesty, her youth and innocence; I loved that God's plan probably made Joseph and Mary wonder if they were on the right track. But most, I was hit by the fact that God bore His soul that night - He gave His very heart to us in Jesus. Like those moments when you see a man cry who never cries, I believe that the birth of Christ was a very vulnerable, intimate moment for God. Like finally revealing yourself for all you are to someone you are not sure will accept you. God gave us His all, and we spend our time "celebrating" with wish lists, spending sprees, and ingratitude that we didn't get exactly what we wanted . . . . . oh we talk about how "Jesus is the reason" but I have never really seen anyone whose celebrations and all they do at Christmas truly reflects the depth and magnitude of that reality. I wonder what it would look like . . . . I have no idea . . . .

Oh! I'm not pointing my finger at you anymore than I am at me - I'm as guilty as anyone, if not more so. I LOVE Christmas! I love giving gifts, and getting them; I love the decorations, and the parties, and the food . . . . this is what has made me stop and really consider how I have come so far from what Christmas really is. Yet, for all that I am, I cannot figure out how to turn the ship . . . I guess the best way to turn a ship is to turn the tide. I'm afraid it will take a mighty strong current to turn this ship around . . . .

Not that I have any suggestions - just thinking out-loud. Sorry!

Thanks for listening. Thanks for considering. And Merry Christmas!!

Disciple??

2007-11-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

What does it really mean to be a disciple of Christ? I have been pondering and wrestling with this question for a while now. What does it mean to really follow God? To pursue Him?

Does the Bible outline it completely? Or are there aspects that are unique to each person? Are there some common qualities and actions that should mark each and every disciple? I think there are, most definitely . . . but what are they?

I don't know . . . I really don't know . . . I mean, I have my ideas and theories, but are they Biblical? I just don't know . . . I really don't know much at all.

I just know God.

I suppose that's all each of us really needs. We need to let that relationship with Him drive everything in our lives. . . the way we walk, talk, live. We need to be the "Shadow" of Christ, mimicking His every movement.

But again, what does that mean? This all feels so ambiguous and undefined. Oh, I know that people have tried to define it. And perhaps they have, for themselves. But somehow it always fall short. Yet we keep looking, because we are a people that wants 5-steps to this, and 9-sign of that.

I just don't think there is a set formula . . . none at all. And that is really the thrill of it, the joy, isn't it? That is what makes each and every one of us special.

Success and God

2007-09-28T00:22:00.000-06:00

I know some very "successful" people - people with power, wealth, position, etc. and these people seem to have it all together. They are people who have fought their way from the bottom up, and have overcome problems and issues and fears to become positive, happy, and . . . . well . . . . successful.
I have to admit this is a bit disconcerting for me. I have been taught to believe that only Christ can bring freedom, and He is the only way to get over our problems, etc, etc . . . I'm sure you've this too - even on this blog!! Yet, here are some people who have overcome major addictions and fears all on their own (or so it seems). So I sat down with God and just asked Him "How?" How can these people, through "positive thinking" or other eastern religious acts, how can they have this freedom and success that I thought was only possible from Him. Basically, I was asking (yes, I had the audacity) "why "Jesus," if we don't necessarily need Him in this process?"
His response went something like this:
"You know, Andrea, life with Me isn't about greatness - it's actually about servant hood and humility. And freedom and all that stuff is awesome, and something I want for you, but that's not what this is all about - sure, it's a great benefit and by-product, but is not all I am after. This thing is all about simply being in a relationship. What you have and they don't, is that you know Me - we talk and walk and live life together. No amount of positive thinking, overcoming fears or addictions, or freedom can produce that. That's what it's about - getting to know Me, and you do that by following Me. . . and the more you hang out with Me, the more you'll begin to act like Me, and that produces things that will change the world! Not money, power, success or any other such nonsense, but love, compassion, mercy . . ."
So, these great people may overcome and achieve, but ultimately they are the ones missing out. They are missing out on the most amazing relationship ever! They are missing out on the opportunity to truly change the world!! But, God has a way of coming into the lives of people who have it all together, and messing things up . . . I think I'm ready for God to mess up my life, and take me down the path few dare travel.
Will you join me?

Jesus Now

2007-09-19T22:54:00.000-06:00

Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it?? I'm getting into the groove of life, with my daughter being back in school, as well as my teaching an evening Bible study at my church . . . I will begin teaching a morning study tomorrow, as well. It's exciting, and I am just in love with the ladies who attend!! What a privilege to serve them.

So, I just read a book entitled "Something Beautiful for God," a book about Mother Teresa and her Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta . . . it was amazing!! The woman's joy and beauty are truly what we are looking for in this world - a joy and beauty from God, alone. And I have to say that between this book and another entitled "The Irresistible Revolution," I have had a lot of food for thought these days - heavy, heavy food - the kind that sits in your gut and takes a while to digest.

I've been wanting to start processing through these thoughts right here with you, but have just had trouble figuring out where to start, and how to express it all. My world has been a bit shaken up by God, and it is good - oh so good!

One of the comments the author made in "Something Beautiful For God," was basically that we spend so much time trying to get to know the "Jesus of history," yet this term is really an oxymoron, since Jesus is now . . . He is always now. Coupled with the story of love and sacrifice of Mother Teresa, this made me start thinking about how we do tend to spend most of our time getting to know the Jesus of the Bible (not that this is bad), and no time getting to know the "Jesus of now." The Jesus in the homeless man walking down the street with no shoes; the Jesus in the woman with a drug addiction and 5 neglected children; the Jesus in the cranky store clerk; the Jesus in the crazy woman on the bus; the Jesus in our neighbor, our family, our friends, our enemies. We need to get to know the Jesus around us, through Whom all things have their existence, and all people their life. The thing is, we can't get to know this Jesus through donations, or prayer, or even just looking at them and pitying them . . . we only get to know this Jesus through face-time, one-on-one face time. We need to be willing to get our hands dirty, sacrifice our time, our love, ourselves. We need to be willing to get to know these people, see their worth and beauty, and in-turn get to know the Jesus in them who gives them their worth and beauty.

It's hard . . . I wish I could tell you to follow my example, but to be honest, I'm scared . . . I'm scared to dive in, get involved, and abandon all. I don't know why - maybe because it's not necessarily easy, and it's definitely not all about me and my comfort and my needs and my desires. It will mean sacrifice and tears and tiredness and possibly heartbreak and failure, and yet why wouldn't I be willing to give so much for my Jesus?? Why, indeed . . .

Lord, give us the strength and courage to step out with You, to meet You in those around us. We are afraid to do so, yet we are more afraid of missing out on what You have for our lives. Please, hold our hands, guide our steps, and fill our hearts with Your lavish love, that we would then be able to pour it out again! We love you!

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." - Jesus

Kidnapped

2007-08-11T23:11:00.000-06:00

I have a confession . . . I am desperately, intensely, and completely terrified of one thing - that my children would be kidnapped. I'm not talking about a normal concern, leading to logical safe-guards, I'm talking illogical, repressive, anxiety-causing, debilitating fear. I often tell God that is the "one thing" I couldn't handle . . . of course, He has a way of talking me "down," and I somehow go on with my life for a while until the fear rears its ugly head again, and the battle wages on.

Ultimately, the fear comes from my not being able to be there for them, to comfort them, and help them . . . I am simply held captive to this irrational fear!! Well, I'm tired of it (have been for a while, really), and with Regann getting ready to start first grade, something needed to be done.

So, God and I had a chat about it - again - this morning. He asked me if I trusted Him with Regann (now, you need to know that I have fought an irrational fear of losing Regann from the moment she was born - this fear does not seem to have extended to Nolan, I don't know why, it's not like I love him any less. It got to the point where I had to lay Regann on the "altar" every night, as I was putting her in her crib . . . well, apparently this "alter" now has a playground, a lunchroom, and a lot more freedom than I'm ready to deal with.) So, God asks me if I trust Him, to which I reply, "Of course, God . . . but (ah, the treacherous "but") but what if you would choose to hand her over to this sort of suffering . . . what if, what if, what if." Now, I'm simply recognizing God's sovereignty here - I am not in any way suggesting that God likes it, or would truly choose for this sort of thing to happen. But I can also see that God is sovereign in all things . . . UGH!! It's a weighty issue for which we have no time right now. :)

Now, I am reading in Isaiah 53, which talks about the crucifixion of Christ, and how He was crushed for us (check it out, if you have a minute - http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=isaiah%2053&version=31) . . . and this is where God took me:

God allowed His Son to be taken from Him, tortured and killed, all while He couldn't be there to comfort Him. Oh, how the Father's heart must have just ached - almost exploded - to hand Christ - His Son, His Baby, His Boy - over to that! To not be able to hold Him, and help Him in His time of greatest suffering!!! And I cannot imagine how Jesus must have felt - the one constant in His life, His Father, gone - driven away be the very sin that Jesus had come to earth to take-on and ultimately conquer . . . . I can only imagine that He just wanted His Daddy, like any child would. It brakes my heart to see the crucifixion from this perspective. To see the sacrifice from a new place, a place where I recognize the Father's agony as much (if not more, as a parent) as the Son's. Oh what a sacrifice!! Truly like none I could ever imagine.

Ultimately, I felt God saying to me, "Andrea, I already went through all of that, so you don't have to. Yet, who better to stand by a parent going through such tragedy than One who has been there too."

We truly do have a God who understands our every need, our every heart-ache, our every pain. Praise Him! Praise His holy Name!!!

And thank You, Jesus . . . thank you, Father . . . thank You, thank You, thank You.

Some Encouraging Words

2007-07-29T10:31:00.000-06:00

From C.S. Lewis:

"But if you are a poor creature - poisoned by a wretched upbringing in some house full of vulgar jealousies and senseless quarrels - saddled, by no choice of your own, with some loathsome sexual perversion - nagged day in and day out by an inferiority complex that makes you snap at your best friends - do not despair. He knows all about it. You are one of the poor whom He blessed. He knows what a wretched machine you are trying to drive. Keep on. Do what you can. One day (perhaps in another world, but perhaps far sooner than that) He will fling it on the scrapheap and give you a new one. And then you may astonish us all - not least yourself: for you have learned your driving in a hard school. (Some of the last will be first and some of the first will be last.)"

May you find this thought as encouraging as I do!!

God bless you today, as you do your best to maneuver through this thing called life.

Andrea

A Bit of Humility

2007-07-26T22:38:00.000-06:00

Well, God has been moving, and I have been so blessed!!

Last night I heard a message at a women's summer Bible study at my church that hit me right where I needed it. Debbie, the teacher, essentially said "Are you so focused on the kingdom that you've completely forgotten the King?" BINGO!! (I wanted to stand up and scream that at the top of my lungs, but I really wasn't sure how that would go over.) I have been so focused on the kingdom, and what I'm doing, what God is doing for me, me, me, that I have completely forgotten to just focus on God. Enjoy God. Be with Him, for no other reason than just to hang out. The simplest, most basic thing, and I had turned away from it. Forgotten it. I wish I could say it was the first time,but alas, that would be a lie. I can, however, pray it is the last (God willing).

So today I have been thinking about my attitudes toward God this summer, and my thoughts about myself. I have really felt . . . almost self-destructive, self-depricating - and that is not a healthy place to be. I can also recognize in my life an arrogance that I believe goes back to my theater training, and trying to act like I was the best so as to get the best part. I just hate it! I hate pride!! I hate arrogance!! Especially when I can recognize them in my own life.

Then it happened. God started to move, and we began to converse. I'm sure, if you have been following my blog at all, that you have noticed a down-heartedness about me, of late. I have been in a really dark place. Again, self-destructive at its core. (By the way, I believe that even self-destructive and self-depricating attitudes are another form of pride . . . essentially, I believe that anything that is "self" focused, as opposed to God focused is pride. It's all about the focus.)

Anyway, like I was saying, I just started pouring my heart out to God. Telling Him how I hated the pride in my life. I just told Him that I needed humility - however it came, however painful it needed to be - I want nothing to do with pride. I am DONE with it! I want NO MORE of it!! To which God said, "What do you think I've been doing all summer?" And BAM!!! it all fell into focus. wow. . . .

God has been giving me some time with myself this summer. (And I really haven't enjoyed it that much . . . again, I wonder, how does He put up with me??) I basically felt like He shut me in a dark room with no one but myself. (I didn't even feel like He was there, though I KNOW He was.) By forcing me to spend some time in introspection, He was reminding me that there is NO GOOD THING in me. Anything good in my life - ANYTHING (even those things that don't generally get labelled "spiritual") is all of Him, and Him alone. I am nothing without Him. I truly am no one important, a part of nothing bigger than myself, having no adventure, no fun, no joy, no peace . . . . . I feel like God was reminding me of what life apart from Him is like. An apathetic drugery.

I am simply a pen. A useless instrument, in-an-of myself. A pen trying to submit myself to the perfect, passionate, capable hands of the One who is willing to use me, allowing His love to flow through me as ink on the blank parchment of life.

A Beautiful Rebuttal

2007-07-21T17:50:00.000-06:00

This rebuttal (of-sorts) was sent to me by a dear friend . . . it was greatly encouraging for me, and I pray it will bless you also! Thank you, Kay, for the wonderful message I so greatly needed to hear.

Wow, it's been awhile, hasn't it??

I've really been wrestling with some stuff lately, and I'm not quite sure how to even verbalize it. At first glance, I'd like to call it depression, but I think that's just too simple . . . I think it goes deeper than that. I think I'm at this place where I want to know - I mean really know - that I am a part, an integral, important part of something bigger than me. Oh, I know it in my brain, but the reasoning side of me tells me it's all just ego, just smoke and mirrors. I'm just another common person wishing for an uncommon life. Is this true?? You bet we are just 'common folks' and thank God for that...because I Corin. 1:26-27 tells us that He chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; the weak to shame the strong...

I don't know for sure. I think God is up to something. Perhaps He bringeth me low to teach me yet another important principal of the Christian life. This happens a lot for me . . . . and generally He seems to be teaching me the same things over and over again. You'd think I would learn. UGH!!
II Corin. 12:10 clearly tells us you are so right in this evaluation....as 'for when I am weak, then I am strong' - how does that work? check it out in Hebrews 5:1-3 where He tells us ... Every high priest is selected from among men.....and that he is subject to weakness...that is why he offers sacrifices for his sins and those of the people. We may not be priests, but we are His disciples and we are told to 'offer our bodies as living sacrifices', in Romans 12:1. We are also told in James that indeed we will face trials of many kinds and that we are often tested in order to receive perseverance, so we may be mature and complete - in Him.

Which brings me to my next point - or struggle, if you will. Why is this all so darned difficult!!! I mean, it's simple - follow Christ, and all else falls into place.
I have a framed saying that reminds me that Christ said, in so many words, "I never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it."

But while that sounds so easy, in practice it proves to be a formidable . . . dare I say "foe"? That's truly what it feels like sometimes. A foe. Something working with all its might against me in every possible way, to bring me down and remind me in every way that I cannot possibly ever attain this Christian way of life.
Ephesians 6:12 tells us you are right again.....we have quite a formidable foe......the powers of this dark world and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. However in II Chronicles 20:15 He tells us not to be afraid or discouraged for the battle is not yours, but God's.

(Another good lesson - boy, they just keep stacking up, don't they?) Foe, indeed. Yet, I have the ultimate Victor at my side; in fact, within me! So, why can't I seem to tap into this fathomless, bottomless power? What is wrong with me?
Nothing; nothing that is except for the human need to be in control....problem with that is that ....as we see in John 15:5....we can do nothing without being attached to Jesus.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?" I find myself screaming to the heavens. No reply. Actually, I'm pretty sure He's replying, I'm just not listening.
Isaiah 40:31 tells us that they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.....His strength is what makes us strong.....His yoke is light....His rewards unfathomable....so wait, sweet child of God, and He will supply all your needs and answer all your questions....in His time.

And so the lesson drags on, and I find myself longing ever-more for heaven. Oh, don't worry, there is no death wish here . . . . simply a woman truly finding the depth of emotion found in Paul's sentiment in Philippians 1:21 - "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Each day I live for Christ, praying that He will show up in some way and renew my passion, renew my strength, renew my purpose, renew my life.
Every Christian woman you know, if she is truly trying to be all she can be for God, experiences the same bouts of doubt, wonder, and distress that you are experiencing. Thankfully, we have a God who can do all things.

In His love, and praying for you, Kay

Quite the battle

2007-07-19T22:50:00.000-06:00

Wow, it's been awhile, hasn't it??

I've really been wrestling with some stuff lately, and I'm not quite sure how to even verbalize it. At first glance, I'd like to call it depression, but I think that's just too simple . . . I think it goes deeper than that. I think I'm at this place where I want to know - I mean really know - that I am a part, an integral, important part of something bigger than me. Oh, I know it in my brain, but the reasoning side of me tells me it's all just ego, just smoke and mirrors. I'm just another common person wishing for an uncommon life. Is this true?? I don't know for sure. I think God is up to something. Perhaps He bringeth me low to teach me yet another important principal of the Christian life. This happens a lot for me . . . . and generally He seems to be teaching me the same things over and over again. You'd think I would learn. UGH!!

Which brings me to my next point - or struggle, if you will. Why is this all so darned difficult!!! I mean, it's simple - follow Christ, and all else falls into place. But while that sounds so easy, in practice it proves to be a formidable . . . dare I say "foe"? That's truely what it feels like sometimes. A foe. Something working with all its might against me in every possible way, to bring me down and remind me in every way that I cannot possibly ever attain this Christian way of life. (Another good lesson - boy, they just keep stacking up, don't they?) Foe, indeed. Yet, I have the ultimate Victor at my side; in fact, within me! So, why can't I seem to tap into this fathomless, bottomless power? What is wrong with me?

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?" I find myself screaming to the heavens. No reply. Actually, I'm pretty sure He's replying, I'm just not listening.

And so the lesson drags on, and I find myself longing ever-more for heaven. Oh, don't worry, there is no death wish here . . . . simply a woman truly finding the depth of emotion found in Paul's sentiment in Philippians 1:21 - "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Each day I live for Christ, praying that He will show up in some way and renew my passion, renew my strength, renew my purpose, renew my life.

Faith

2007-06-24T16:04:00.001-06:00

The message at church today (I went to Boyd Avenue Baptist Church, here in Casper) was a good one! Quinn, the pastor, talked about Shadrach, Mishach, and Abednego and their tremendous, unshakable faith in God. He talked about how they had established their faith and grounded it in God WAY before the crisis hit.
Made me stop and think about myself . . . is my faith solid like that? Have I made up my mind, I mean REALLY made it up, that I will not go with the crowd, no matter how lucritive and influential, if it means turning my back on God? Have I placed my whole self in the God arena? I don't know. I'd like to think I have, but if that's all the further I can take it, then I have to wonder.
Today, however, I have made up my mind, and it's God or nothin' for this crazy chick! That's not all that easy to say, considering the people in my life who do not side with God, but it's the decision I have to make. A decision I gladly make in view of all He has done for me.

Will you join me??

Well, Here I Am . . .

2007-06-22T15:29:00.000-06:00

in Wyoming!! I would LOVE to tell you all that the weather is cool and wonderful, but that would be a lie. It seems I brought the heat with me. UGH!!

The drive up was fun, though I think we hit every city (major and minor), and one road-side stop between Mesa and Albuquerque - nothing like traveling with sick kids!! We pushed hard and made it all the way to north Denver by 1:15 am . . . it was a long trip, and my little guy was not happy with me. It was another tangible (and very loud) reminder that I have been tasked with being the advocate for my kids. They trust me to take care of them . . . What a blessing to know that Jesus will NEVER let me down as my Advocate. He will ALWAYS do what is best for me, He is ALWAYS on my side. I wish I could say that I am the same with my kids. God forgive me.

Anyway, I am so happy to be here with my family, though I miss my hubby. I am definitely taking some time to just relax, do nothing, play computer games, eat Cheetos and drink Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi . . . Ahhh, the good life!! :)

I love this country. It is beautiful, wild, open, and free . . . I can most certainly see why this is called "God's Country" by so many. It is my prayer that He will meet me here, and delight me, surprise me, woo me, and draw me in. I'm sure He has something in store, planned for me during this time - let's just pray that I'm not so dense or oblivious that I completely miss it!

God bless you all!

Howdy, howdy, howdy

2007-06-16T22:54:00.000-06:00

I wonder how many times in a day I ignore God.

I wonder how often I make Him cry.

I wonder if He ever just wants to slap me across the face. (Oh, He's done it before . . . sometimes that's exactly what I need)

I wonder what it will be like to finally hold His hand, see His face, and dance with Him.

I wonder if my life pleases Him right now.

I wonder how my life weaves into the tapestry of this world.

I wonder, and this a lot, why He keeps after me, pursuing me with all that He is, when I am so marginal in so many ways.

He makes me smile. He makes me laugh. He's all I could ever want or need or desire.

He is my very definition - all that I am, all that I hope to be. Strip me of all else, but give me God, for He is my everything.

God is Faithful!

2007-06-14T12:41:00.000-06:00

Well, I taught last night, and just as I knew He would be, God was faithful!! I marvel at His faithfulness, despite all the ways I fall short. 2 Timothy 2:11-13 says, "Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." Generally it's tit for tat, but not in faithfulness . . . not in anything that is the character of God - love, grace, mercy, faithfulness . . . despite our lack of reciprocation, God cannot deny Himself, and that means He remains those things toward us, even when we don't return the favor.

WOW!

I am almost in tears, as I consider all that God has done (and is doing) for me, and those I know. I marvel that He can "put up" with me when I'm in such a funky mood! Yet, as my dear friend reminded me yesterday, I cannot go by how I feel, I must go by what I know. And I know that God is faithful, that He will see my through, that He is near, and that He is love. I'm such a "feely" person, yet my feelings betray me constantly.

And so I put my head down, and plow on. I stay in the Word, I keep talking to God, and I trust that He is using this time in my life to prepare me for whatever is next. It is a time of pruning - it hurts, but the resulting growth will be so worth it!

Otherwise, I'm getting ready to go back home for a while - to Wyoming. Oh, how my heart longs for "home" - I am truly a Wyoming girl at heart! I pray that it will be a time of rest and rejuvenation. I pray that God will renew my heart with His wild passion, so that I can then pass the passion along to all those around me . . . for passion is caught, it cannot be taught.

And though I may not know your name, I am praying for you. That God would prove Himself true and faithful in your life - whether you feel Him, or not; whether you believe in Him or not. :) That actually reminds me of my favorite movie line ever. It's from "The Count of Monte Cristo," and when the main character, Edmond, is in prison with a priest, the priest tells him to live for God, that it is His to avenge. Edmond replies "I don't believe in God," to which the priest says, "It doesn't matter, He believes in you."

God believes in you, and He believes in me . . . . that is the greatest miracle!

How long?

2007-06-09T15:56:00.000-06:00

Psalm 13:1-2
"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?"

Yep, that pretty much sums up how I'm feeling these days. I mean, words can't quite express the true depth and complexity of it all, but this comes pretty close. And all this while I'm preparing to teach this Wednesday. GASP! I know. Most people would probably say I need to bow out humbly, and allow someone who is "high" on God to step up and teach. Believe me, I've thought about it, and prayed about it. At which point I felt God say to me "No, Andrea, I want you to teach from exactly this place. These women need to know that they aren't the only ones who feel this way, that this is not a mark of being a bad Christian. They need to know that they will get through it and that it will be OK. I want you to teach from this place, a place of honesty, since honesty is what you'll be teaching on." Wow.

So, I journey on in my preparations, and God has proved faithful every step of the way, though the next step always seems hidden from view. So, I grasp His hand and keep-on. Here is the wonderful thing I am discovering in all of this (something most of you probably already know - I'm quite slow and dense) - our feelings betray us. I am so blessed to know God and His Word well enough to know that He is near, He is always near, nearer than my own breath, even when it doesn't feel like it. While I feel forgotten, I am far from it. In fact, I am on His mind and in His thoughts this very moment. He is right here with me, holding my hand, placing my every step to get me through this.

So, dear friend, pray for me as I limp along. Pray for me this Wednesday as I stand up and open my mouth on behalf of God. Pray that in and through my honesty the Spirit will pour out His mighty power on me and all those who listen, that God would be pleased and glorified through it all.

Confessions

2007-06-02T09:37:00.000-06:00

Alright, so I'm going to "vomit" all over you, and spill my guts. :)

My discipline has gone completely out the window!! I suppose this is one of the symptoms I display when depressed. Though I am feeling better (not great, but better), it seems the lack of discipline is sticking with me.

I'm having trouble making time in the morning for God. I'm having trouble with my eating and my sleeping (while those may not seem like bad things, they are when I over-indulge, and that is my issue right now). Even my spending is starting to spin out-of-control! And I just feel hopeless, like there is nothing I can do to get back on track.

So, as you can see, I could really use your prayers right now. I know that God is in all of this, somehow, yet I can't seem to see Him. I want to desire Him and His Word above all, but right now I just want to eat, sleep, and shop. Sounds a bit like a baby, doesn't it? UGH! That's what I feel like I'm being right now.

On top of this, I am trying to prepare for a lesson I'm teaching on June 13 for our church's Summer Bible Study for women. I'm trying to get homework written for the lesson, and I'm trying to get going for the fall study I'm writing . . . it all just seems like too much, and I'm beginning to wonder if it will happen at all. So, I'm just having to completely trust God to work in and through all of this, somehow. I know God will do it. I know He will.

OK, sorry to completely rain on your parade today. Like you don't have enough of your own problems to think about, now I've dumped all of mine on you. The really silly thing is that my problems really aren't very problematic at all, in the whole scheme of things. When compared to what people in other countries face, my stuff seems so stupid. Yet, these problems are mine, and that makes them more difficult, miserable, and, well, mine. I feel like they are affecting my effectiveness for God, and I really HATE that!!

Well, I'd better let you go . . . I need to get my daughter ready for a birthday party and get on with my day. May you be blessed today in all that you do!

Love - Andrea

PS - Thanks for listening - I feel so much better! :)

Self-Esteem

2007-05-30T10:12:00.000-06:00

My heart breaks for people (especially women) these days, as we try to live up to this standard that has somehow been put into our heads. We have these notions of who we should be, and how we should look. Even as Christians we have this concept of how we should behave, and feel, and look, and talk, and live life. We begin to evaluate ourselves and compare ourselves to this standard . . . only to discover that we fall far short.

I am convinced that we need to stop looking at ourselves, and comparing ourselves to this standard or even to each other, and instead begin to look to God. We need to ask Him how He views us, how He loves us, how He esteems us. As Christians, we will discover that He esteems us much higher than we think He does, much higher than we tend to esteem ourselves. You see, He sees us through Christ, and in Christ we are perfect, righteous, and good. He is much more excited and delighted about our victories, than He is disappointed in our defeats.

I believe that anything "self" is simply pride - even "self-esteem." It is a focus on ourselves, instead of a focus on God. If only we can begin to see ourselves through God's eyes, instead of our own or those of the culture around us. It will be through this focus that we will find the confidence we so desire, as the radiance of God, Himself, will shine through us, drawing those around us toward the God who loves them so deeply and so passionately.

Lindsay Lohan and Others

2007-05-27T23:37:00.000-06:00

Many of you probably already know that I have a heart for artists, especially those caught up in the craziness we call "Hollywood." Here's the thing - artists are passionate, by nature, that is what makes them artists . . . being an artist, I know that we can get caught up in this passion high cycle. When life is good and things are zipping along, passion is high, and we are happy. But when life gets boring, begins to simply cycle around and around, we get bored and start looking for something else to spice things up. Enter all sorts of stupid substances and activities . . .

My heart breaks for Lindsay Lohan. I cannot imagine how people can live their entire lives in the limelight, up on a pedestal, expected to be the example, when they are human and have issues just like us. I have to say that it is only by the grace of God that I didn't get into drugs and all that when I was in college. The Lord knows it was there, and it was offered . . . somehow, He kept me clean in that respect.

Hollywood needs Jesus . . . I cannot imagine how amazing it would be if these men and women would get passionate about Jesus instead of . . . whatever their latest passion is. Passion misdirected is always bound to take us down a road of difficulty and dissatisfaction. The one's who really break my heart are those who claim to know Jesus, yet they are searching for passion like everyone else. Yet, I know there are those in Hollywood who offer a glimpse into a life lived completely surrendered to God. They reflect a God of passion to those around them . . . God, give them strength!

Oh how I want these artists to see that Jesus is the only One who can take our passion without abusing it, and actually increase it exponentially in a safe and wonderful way! He is my adventure, my comfort, my wild-and-crazy, my uncontrollable, my safe and secure, my everything I could ever need.

Let's pray for Hollywood, and pray for those who need the strength to reflect God's glory onto the passionate, but lost people around them.

A Good Day

2007-05-26T23:10:00.000-06:00

I had a wonderful day today.

A group of my friends and family were able to get together and surprise me at a tea house for my birthday! I love surprises!! And what a wonderful one - to be surrounded by such loving women was definitely a lift to my spirits. Ah, the Body of Christ at work. The fellowship was sweet, and the food was really good too (though it took 2 hours to get it . . . no lie . . . no, I'm not exaggerating!) It feels good to be loved. They even got a 2-for-1 - I had a pity-party right in the middle of the birthday party. And let me tell you, there is nothing like a good group of friends to make you GET OVER IT!!! :) I'm so glad they did.

Then, this afternoon, my daughter Regann got her very first Bible!! It may seem silly to some people, but for me this is a momentous occasion! She even picked out a Bible cover that says "Jesus Loves Me." She picked that one out, just because it says that. Oh the simple, wonderful wisdom of children . . . Chris, my hubby, and I were talking on the way to get the Bible about the possibility of my going to Nepal in the spring on a mission trip with some ladies from my Bible study. I'm super excited about it, but we were talking about logistics. It came up that Chris' mom may be able to help with watching the kids so that he wouldn't have to take so much time off. In the end we agreed we would continue to pray and talk about it. At this point Regann asked what we were talking about, and I explained it to her. She asked me "Is it about Jesus, mommy?" To which I replied "yes." Her response?? (Oh, it's priceless) "Well, mommy, if it's a God-thing, then you have to go." Wow. Even now I am floored at the wisdom of it. From the mouth of a not-quite-6-year-old. Oh, how I love that sweet, sweet girl!!

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you my day, and the wonderful ways in which God lifted my spirits. (I didn't even mention the shopping at my favorite Christian boutique . . . shopping ALWAYS helps me!!) I am feeling better about life, and the prospects it holds for me.

Much love!
Andrea

30 Years Old!

2007-05-25T13:46:00.000-06:00

I'm 30 today . . . I feel like it should be affecting me more. Really, I think I'm looking forward to it - after-all, 30 is the age of spiritual leadership in Jewish culture. I can't wait to see what God has in-store for me. David became king at 30 and Jesus began His public ministry at 30 as well. Not that I am any David, and certainly no Jesus, but I figure God can do anything . . .

In the mean-time, I'm just feeling spiritually blah. Ever been there? My discipline is trying its best to go down the drain, and I just want to give up in many aspects. Satan is trying to play this depression for all it's worth whispering all sorts of crazy things in my head. UGH!! I know this season will pass, and will help me to be more fruitful in the long-run, but for now it feels like it will never end. And I just want to eat and sleep the days away . . .

Today, in my quiet-time, I was reading from Psalm 92, where it says, " For You make me glad by Your deeds, O Lord; I sing for joy at the works of Your hands. How great are Your works, O Lord, how profound Your thoughts!" Oh, how I wish this described me today. I have been asking God to reveal to me His "unfailing love" for the last couple of weeks, to no avail. It is not that I think His love is not unfailing, or that He does not care . . . He just has something else planned. Or perhaps I am just looking in the wrong place for this unfailing love. Does He not show His love in the way He prunes all the "dead branches" off, so that I will not wither and die, but will instead produce more abundant and beautiful fruit? However, I'm afraid I may just give-up in the mean-time. I miss the days when I truly could rejoice at the work of God's hands - I noticed it every day. When He would whisper His profound thoughts into my heart . . . I miss it . . . I miss Him.

Oh, I know He is still here. He is probably closer than ever - seems it's harder to see someone when they are right next to you, perhaps even carrying you. But that's what I need right now - more than a crutch, I need a stretcher. As He prunes and cuts away all the junk, He will also heal and mend me, and I have enough junk to require a stretcher for the time being. I just can't wait for the day when I can truly rejoice, even, no especially, in the midst of a painful season of "cut-backs," and "down-sizing."

Ah, the joys of 30 . . . strange . . .that is the one delightful thing about today. Nothing like a birthday to make you smile. :) Boy, I'm a real barrel of laughs today, aren't I? WHEW!

Thanks for listening!!

Where To Start??

2007-05-24T23:22:00.000-06:00

Hello friends!

It's been a while, hasn't it?? I finished up teaching my Bible Study in April, and launched directly into serving at my church's women's retreat. It has definitely been a season of heavy ministry, fruitful ministry, and exhausting ministry. I have stopped blogging, mainly because I didn't think I had anything profound to say. Then I realized that sometime you don't need to hear something profound, you just need to know that even when nothing profound is happening, life goes on, and so does our faith.

I am actually dealing with some depression. Seems to be common for me when I come out of a season of ministry. I think perhaps this is my time of pruning and shaping. It's time for God to go in and cut off all the dead branches, and trim back the growth I've experienced, all so that I can be that much more fruitfull come this fall. I don't know . . . that's just what it feels like. I am dealing with some issues in my life that I thought I had handled - some feelings that I thought were dealt with . . . apparently I was wrong. I think, perhaps, they were simply suppressed and now the events have come around pulling them up to the surface as God says "It's time - let's deal with this!!" UGH!!! (That is me throwing a fit at the foot of the throne. . . don't worry, He's used to it, poor chap!!)

Anyway, I hope to visit with you more often . . . I'm not even sure you're out there anymore. But if you are, it's good to have you there. Maybe I'll even have a profound thought or two that I can share. In the meantime, let's just do life together, learn from each other, and encourage and challenge each other, shall we??

All my love - Andrea

Honoring and Respecting Authority

2007-03-29T08:51:00.000-06:00

2 Samuel 1:11-12
11 Then David and all the men with him took hold of their clothes and tore them. 12 They mourned and wept and fasted till evening for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the army of the LORD and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword.

I find it so interesting and compelling to think of David mourning and fasting over the death of Saul - a man who repeatedly hunted him down and tried to kill him. David even had to flee into Philistine country in order to escape the hand of this king! Yet, at all times, David respected Saul, loved Saul, and called him (even after his death) "the anointed of the Lord." At no time was David ever threatened by Saul's position (Samuel had anointed David king of Israel years earlier, at the leading of God), nor did he ever dishonor him as king.

What a remarkable lesson we can learn here! We all have (or have had) people in authority over us that we do not agree with, do not like, or even just seem to have it out for us! We feel justified in disliking them, dishonoring them to others, and disrespecting their authority. David knew something we would all be wise to remember - there is no authority in heaven or earth that God has not placed Himself. It is no different in our lives. Whether at work, church, or even as a nation, these people in authority have been given their authority from God Himself, and we would be wise to honor and respect that.

The only times David ever spoke ill of Saul were in his times with God. God alone can hear the honesty (pretty or not) of our hearts, and not let it be damaging to us or to those around us. So, if you really need to tell on someone, or complain about them - go to God. For He is safe, and He is trustworthy, and He can turn the tables by letting us see His perspective in the matter.

Is there someone in authority over your life today that you are having trouble honoring and respecting? Take it to God - pour out your heart to Him, and then trust Him to deal with that person in His way, and His time. In the mean-time, let's do our best to respect these people, and give them the honor they require, as servants of the Most High God (whether they realize it or not).

Simple but Difficult

2007-03-12T23:25:00.000-06:00

Belated Blessings, my dear friends!

Today, I simply wanted to reflect on a quote from a movie I saw a few weeks ago that has been resonating in my head ever-since. It is from the movie "Bobby Jones" (or something along those lines) about the amateur golfer who won the "Grand Slam" - the only golfer in history. An interesting story, and thought provoking, making me think about why I do what I do. Anyway, at one point in the movie, Bobby Jones sits down next to his friend during a golf match and says "The longer I play this game, the harder it gets."

Yeah, that pretty much says it all. That is exactly how I feel about this Christian journey. The more I learn and the longer I journey, the harder it gets!

Golf is a simple game - get the ball in the hole. Yet there is so much more to it. While that is the focus of the game, there are many obstacles and traps along the way. Not to mention the fact that every hole is different from the last, and must be approached a little differently within the structure of the game.

This causes me to reflect on the simplicity of it all - Jesus Christ. Is my focus on Him, alone. Is getting to know Him my goal? Or has my service for Him become my goal? Or my disciplines toward Him? Or my thoughts and teachings about Him? These things are wonderful, yet they are simply tools - our golf clubs, if you will - to get to know Him, get a little closer to Him with each stroke. If He, alone, is my goal, all else will come with. Yet, if I have any other goal, however noble or beautiful, I will miss the true goal altogether.

We have really complicated this Christian walk, haven't we? We have made it a maze, when in fact, it is a narrow path, traversed by the One who wishes us to follow Him. Yet, while it is simple, it is still difficult - so easy to get side-tracked or stuck, or feel as though we fallen 100 strokes behind. And just when we think we've got it, we move on the next hole, only to find it a little different from the last. I believe that God wants us to pursue Him. And not just pursue Him, but desire Him, long for Him, work for Him (though we do not have to); just as He pursues us, desires us, longs for us, and works for us. It is in the very simplicity of our journey with Christ that it feels so difficult. Sometimes I wonder if we make it difficult, just because we think it should be.

I know these thoughts feel scattered and incomplete, but so does this Christian life. So what is there to do? I cannot tell you that - I am simply thinking out-loud. I believe we must simply follow Jesus with all that we are, trusting Him around every bend, and giving Him all that we have and all that we are. We must use everything within us and around us to get to know Him a little better.

Paths

2007-02-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

Psalm 121:7-8
The LORD will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

As much as I wish with all that I am that this verse was true all around, I have to come face-to-face with the fact that it is not. I have really been trying to look at Old Testament concepts and see them as spiritual concepts rather than physical, especially as a New Testament believer. It would be easy to see the promises that were physical for the Israelites, and believe them to be physical for me as well, but that is not necessarily true. And I desire to know what is true, not what I desire to be true.

This is one of those verses that would be easy to interpret as a promise encompassing all of life. Again, in some cases it may be true, however I know that many times it is the physical and emotional pain that causes the most growth in us. Yet, I do believe that God will keep us from all spiritual harm. OK, at this point I have to stop and wonder “what does that mean?”

I look at this passage and am reassured that no matter the situation, no matter the temptation, God will always offer us a path that is firm and free from slips and stumbles. He presents this path to us at every turn, every fork in the road. Now, whether we choose that path is another dilemma completely. However, the path is there for the traversing, should we choose it. And this path will keep us from stumbling, from sin, from spiritual harm.

God is watching over us. Not only does He watch over our physical “coming and going,” but I believe that He also watches over our spiritual “coming and going.” He sees us when we wane, when our hearts are far from Him, and our flame is barely even a spark. He sees us then, and He watches over us just as intently as when we are passionate and abandoned to Him. He watches over us with the eyes of a Father, a Lover, a Friend. Whether He feels near or far to us, whether we are aware of His presence or not, He is there, guiding us, watching us, and presenting us with the best possible path in our current circumstances.

Which path will you choose today?

Be Blessed

2007-01-30T00:11:00.000-07:00

Psalm 32:1-2
Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.

I can't count the number of times I have read these verses, thought briefly about them, and then quickly moved on to the next verse in this Psalm. Today, however, God moved in me and I spent a little more time thinking about them. At first glance I want to say, "Yes, I'm blessed because God has covered every bad choice I've made," thinking in past-tense. Yet today it occurred to me that every sin and transgression I ever have or will commit has been covered.

Of course we talk about that quite often - Jesus has forgiven ALL our sins, past, present, and future, but this was just another stark reminder of that reality. I think you may already know this, but I tend to dwell, unhealthily I might add, on all the things I do wrong and all the ways I fall short. What a blessing to be "told" that even in the midst of the sin, God does not count it against me!

Now, I am not saying we will not have consequences for our bad choices, or that we won't have to live with the results, but I am saying that God doesn't treat us as the sinners we are, but rather as the righteous children He is making us to be. Woo-hoo!! Hallelujah!!

I think my favorite part of this passage, though, is our being blessed when we have no deceit in our spirit. "I'm not a liar!" I want to scream. However, in context I think this is talking about something altogether different. I think David is reminding us that while God will not count our sins or transgressions against us, we also shouldn't just merrily skip through life, ignoring them in our lives completely. No, we still must acknowledge the sin in our lives, the bad choices. We must go before God and say "I screwed up . . . again." And then repent - turn from them and walk the other way. Ignorance is NOT bliss (as a matter of fact, ignorance of the law has never been an excuse, even in the Old Testament.)

So, if you have been wallowing in your sin, get up, brush yourself off, and count yourself blessed, because God does not count it against you! If, however, you have been ignoring some sin (whether big or little), perhaps calling it something it isn't, or somehow justifying it, you need to get on your knees, and come clean at the foot of the cross. Yes, there may be some consequences, and they will probably be painful, but God still counts you righteous, and the burden of guilt will be lifted from your shoulders.

May you be blessed, today!

Consumed by God

2007-01-20T00:02:00.000-07:00

Ephesians 4:30
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

My daughter is becoming ever-more curious about Jesus, sin, salvation, and everything in-between. We often talk about how we ask Jesus into our lives and hearts and live for Him. She insists she bowed her knee to him last April - I continue watching for the fruit of that transformation, and am beginning to see the little, baby spiritual buds popping out here-and-there.

Well, all this talk of "Jesus in our hearts" has got me thinking about that concept. I have been thinking about how we tend to live our lives as though we have taken Christ in and enveloped Him, making Him a part of us. We live as though He is our genie, called on in times of distress or despair; tucked away when we want to indulge in a "little harmless" sin (after-all, He'll forgive us!); molded into our version of Him (currently 6.0); loved and obeyed when it is easy and/or beneficial (church is a great place to make business contacts, after-all!).

However, it should be the other way around, shouldn't it? We need to be taken into Christ, enveloped in Him - in His way of living, His thoughts, His actions, His love. We are the ones that need to be molded to Him, calling on Him at all times, living in a constant awareness of His passionate love for us, resulting in obedience (even in the oh-so tempting moments) because we want to please Him and make Him proud! Just as Ephesians 4:30 says, He has sealed us, as though we have been bottled and corked by El Shaddai Bottling Inc.

We need to re-focus and re-think this: we have not taken Him in, doing Him some immense favor; He has taken us in, full of grace and mercy, love and compassion. So, the next thing we need to ask ourselves is this: Are we living lives having been completely consumed by God?

God's Pursuit

2007-01-13T00:10:00.000-07:00

Philippians 1:3-6
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

I love this passage, as it really speaks of my heart right now. First, I must ask you to forgive my absence – I have been sick, and fought a headache for about 4 days. It got to the point to where I could hardly think!! (Not that I’m much better without a headache, but at least I can form semi-understandable thoughts.) Anyway, when I am unable to “meet” with you, I find that I think about you more often. I am thankful for you and your understanding, when I do not meet with you daily. However, I have to admit that I also begin to beat myself up, and I begin to wonder if you think I am lazy or apathetic. I truly am my own worst critic.

As I’ve thought about this tendency in my life (not just with the Morning SonRise, but with everything, especially everything spiritual . . . which I guess for me is pretty much everything), I thought about a quote I read from Eugene Peterson, who translated The Message. Now, I’m not going to be able to get this word-for-word, so I’m just going to have to paraphrase it for you. Basically, he said that his life was completely changed when he came to the realization that God was infinitely more interested in a relationship with him than he was with God. He talked about how he started to just calm down, he stopped fretting about everything he did wrong, stopped his frantic reaching and striving, and he started taking the time to notice God pursuing him every day in ways he had never noticed before.

I have been thinking a lot about that interview I read and I have really been trying to do the same. I try to notice God’s pursuit of me everyday, and stop beating myself up over the little things, like not getting a chance to send out a daily devotional.

Perhaps you need to do the same?

Do you need to stop fretting over all the things you’re not doing, and just start enjoying the things you are? Do you need to get your focus off your “to do” list and start focusing on God and all the ways He is reaching out to you each day? Perhaps you just need to stop and realize that God is so much more interested in your relationship than you are. If this is you, then know that you are not alone – I am right there with you. Perhaps together we can begin to cut ourselves some slack, and let God reach into our hectic but mundane lives and give us some passion, some peace, some excitement, some love, and some of the sweet relationship we always seem to be striving for.

God started this thing in us, let’s let Him finish it – shall we?

My Jesus

2007-01-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

Psalm 18:1
I love you, O LORD, my strength.

My strength. My love. My life. My breath. My joy. My peace. My sanity. My purity. My time. My resource. My body. My senses. My rest. My desire. My passion. My heart. My soul.

My everything.

An Answer...

2007-01-06T00:17:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 65:24
And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.

I started using a brand new prayer journal today, and this is the verse on the first page. HA-HA!! Doesn't God have the greatest sense of humor? "Before they call, I will answer." (emphasis mine) Hmmm...

I've been talking about God not responding, and here He's responding back "I've already sent the answer."

I think, perhaps, that you and I get so wrapped up in talking to God and our expectations to hear an answer that sometimes we neglect to simply be silent and wait for it.

I remember when I was working and my daughter was 1-1/2 years old, I was desperate to be a stay-at-home mom. I would beg and plead with God daily to make it work. Finally, God was doing a work in my life, and I decided to stop pretending He didn't hear me. I simply told Him, "I would like to be at home with Regann by the time she is 2. You know my heart and my desires, I'm going to stop begging you for this, and just start waiting and watching for Your answer, trusting You to do what is right and what is best for all of us." Within that month we were told her daycare center would be shutting down. Then Chris was temporarily promoted to supervisor, making my working part-time (so we could take turns caring for her) nearly impossible to work out. My last day of work was August 13, 2003, Regann's 2nd birthday.

Yeah, we get so wrapped up in talking to God, pleading with Him, and tugging on His robes, that we forget to simply trust that He has heard us and start waiting and watching for the answer that is already on its way. It may not look like we expect (chances are it won't), but if we are quiet, and truly waiting on the Lord, we will know His answer when it comes, and it will be ever-more delightful than we anticipated!

God is Near

2007-01-05T00:07:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it is my clogged ears, from my cold, but I still seem to be listening to a silent God. I had a friend write, commiserating with me about how it is difficult to pray and not hear anything in response. Or else not hear what you want to hear. Amen! I do not think the issue for me here is that God is not talking. I think perhaps, I'm just not listening to what He's trying to say. I'm not "hearing" what He's trying to communicate to me on so many different levels.

First, as a dear friend pointed out to me, I do not take very good care of myself. Even with a cold, I find that I am pushing myself beyond what I should. I need to give myself time to heal and gain strength. I need to take care of myself, otherwise what good am I to Him. I did, you'll be happy to know, start taking vitamins - multi, calcium, and even Omega 3 fatty acids (or something like that - basically fish oil, since we aren't much of a fish family). I think my body is hurting and aching far more than it should be at my age. I go and go and go until I cannot go anymore, and even then I go some more! God has been calling me to slow down, as I prepare to step into another busy season of ministry. Perhaps that is why He's being quiet, so I can get some sleep.

The other thing I need to remember (and I need to remind myself of this one at least once a month) is that this is a relationship. And just like any other relationship it is shifting, changing, in motion. It is growing. Perhaps God was so vivid and obvious to me at first because that is what I needed, that is what the relationship drew forth from Him. Now, however, we have grown more intimate, and so His musings are quieter. I don't know. I know that He is drawing me in, and bringing me along to where He needs me to be, and I have to trust that this is a part of that process. A part of my growth. Our growth into each other.

Whatever it may be, I know that God is here - I can never doubt that. I know that He is here, and that He loves each of us deeply. Every time I even think of questioning that, I just have to think back on my life over the last 7 years or so, and I can see His hand so vivid, so large, that there is no way I could every question Him or His activity in my life. I pray you can do the same!Be blessed, dear one, and wherever you may be on your journey, whether you are right where I am, were once here, are have yet to pass this way, take courage in knowing that God is not done with you yet! He is drawing each of us in to Himself and preparing us for what lies ahead, including eternal life by His glorious side!!

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah
Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

Gone Missing

2007-01-03T00:24:00.000-07:00

I sit here staring at my computer screen. The minutes are ticking by, yet nothing comes to me. I am blank. I ask God for something to share. Again, nothing. I stare some more, until I finally decide that I want to go to bed, and I'd better just start typing. My hope is that putting mere words on the page will loosen the plug in my brain and allow the great thoughts, full of wisdom and great knowledge to start flowing. HA! Alas, it does not work that way.

It occurs to me that lately I seem to have a lot of times when I am seeking God, and He seems to be silent. I ask for a message, and none comes . . . or at least not until the very last moment, leaving me sweaty and nervous, afraid that I'll mess up and forget something, due to my seeming lack of practice and preparation. Perhaps this is His way of keeping me clinging to Him throughout the message. I'm sure I have much to learn. I also think He gets a laugh out of it, because I inevitably spring a leak in my right arm pit and find myself looking like a T-Rex with an arm that can barely reach my nose, afraid to gesture freely and scare everyone within eye-shot of my arm-pit. (This is no lie, friends, you can ask my Bible study on Thursday nights. I have started buying and wearing jackets for this very reason. I've tried changing deodorant, to no avail. Again, I think God just likes to laugh at me sometimes. And I would imagine that I deserve it, somehow.)

Ah, but I digress. OK, so the whole point of this thought today is to simply commiserate with you over all the times we reach out to God and He seems to be absent. Aloof. Gone. Busy. Uncaring. Not felt that?? Well then, you're the lucky one! I sometimes wonder if I've tuned my ears to the wrong channel completely - God is screaming, but I just seem to be listening to the wrong guy. Why, I ask you? Why do I go through spells like this? It is miserable! There is nothing I miss more than the timbre of God's voice in my spiritual ear. I long for nothing outside of His heavenly breath on my neck as He speaks to me in words audible only to my heart. His presence warms me. His insight is sustenance for my body.

Yet, I wonder if there are times when I simply take Him for granted. His wisdom and guidance become normal, a nuisance to be obeyed or ignored. I run to Him only when I need a message, or devotional. I do not spend time listening apart from my ministry duties, or I fall into a pattern of not being awed by the fact that the God of the universe wishes to know me, love me, hold me, and speak to me. He is so far above me, and I should be nothing to Him. Yet, in fact, I am everything to Him. And so are you.

Tonight I miss Him. I miss Him desperately. And with each word I add to this page, I feel my heart pounding with longing for and the anticipation of the sweet whisper of Jesus. I can sense His approach . . . can you?

Treasuring God's Word

2007-01-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

Psalm 119:65-72
Do good to your servant according to your word, O LORD. Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I believe in your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. Their hearts are callous and unfeeling, but I delight in your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.

God’s Word is so good, isn’t it? I can look at this passage and see about 10 different things I could write on, yet one thing really sticks out to me – the last sentence.

We can see here that God teaches us (mainly through His Word) that He is good, His Word is good, and that learning and obeying God’s decrees is beneficial to us (not just something we do to keep God happy). And while I could wholeheartedly pray just about every word of this passage, I would really have to stop and make sure I could honestly say that last sentence.

Oh, I know I should be able to pray it. I know that I should treasure God’s Word far more than worldly wealth, and I could probably even say that I do. But then I have to wonder – does my life reflect such priorities?

If someone told me I would get $1000 for simply getting out of bed early, and hanging out with them on my couch for 30 minutes while we talk, I can tell you I would set my alarm and still probably get up before it went off. Yet here I am, ashamed to say that I struggle daily with getting out of bed to spend time with Jesus in the Word. This does not reflect a life that desires and treasures the Word of God above worldly riches.

Oh, how I desire to have a heart that can earnestly shout that last sentence! I can think of nothing more profitable than knowing God and His Word better than I know myself. So why can I not put it into action and stay there? I have a million excuses and then some, yet the truth comes down to the fact that I do not value the Word the way I need to.

Take a few moments and pray with me right now. Pray that God would give us a true desire to seek Him in His Word every day. Pray that He would drive us to it, doing whatever He must, brining us to the point where we would give up anything and everything just to meet Him daily in the midst of those beautiful, crisp, crinkly pages.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and co-laborers in Christ!

I pray your Christmas was wonderful and filled with the magic of Christ. I had a delightful time up north with my family and all the snow God sent our way. There were some truly humbling, magical times, there were some comical times (generally because yours truly was acting like a goofus), and some down-right embarrassing times (see parenthesis above). I think I can speak for my whole family when I say it was one of our best Christmases ever!

I have been resting, and thoroughly enjoying the break from all things ministry (mostly). I was able to do some reading and take some time to simply seek Jesus for me and me alone. It was not nearly long enough, and yet I am ready to jump back into the action!

So, here we are on the dawn of a new year. A year full of surprises – love, loss, joy, sorrow, great elation, and utter depression. I do not know what the year holds for me or you, but I am ready to go, aren’t you? Rather than making a New Year’s Resolution, I tend to spend this time of year reflecting on the year past and all that God brought me through, all that He taught me. Was the year a success or a failure? Did I do what I felt God had for me to do? Or did I turn tail and run?

I can almost always say that I should be “further” along than I am. I’m not sure I know a single person who doesn’t hesitate ever-so-slightly at least once in a while. Yet, when my year was a good one, full of spiritual fruit and prosperity, it’s always difficult to say “good-bye” and welcome a new beginning. Now, give me a bad year and I am always ready to walk away and have a new start. And somehow, that is exactly what it feels like, doesn’t it? Like opening a new book, or starting a new journal, a new year feels like a second chance, a way to reinvigorate life, and step out a little more boldly!

I had a wonderful year – oh, it had its down times, but it was overall very good. Yet, I am glad to wave it good-bye and see what 2007 has in-store. Good or bad, I know that God has great plans for me, and I can say that He has great plans for you as well. I love the thought that I am one more year mature (I finally hit 30 this year – talk about “mature” – HA!), I have one more year of experience under my belt, one more year of hanging out with Jesus. I also love that this puts me one year closer to seeing His sweet face in-person, and one year closer to realizing His purpose for my life.

My wish for each of us this year is that we would follow God’s plans for our lives wholeheartedly, with no hesitation. I pray that we would step out boldly, passionately, no matter the risk, no matter the blackness that haunts us and tells us to turn back. I pray that you and I would simply trust the One who knows the plan, taking His hand, all while thoroughly enjoying the company!

Happy New Year!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11

God's Portion

2006-11-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

Psalm 119:57-64
You are my portion, O LORD; I have promised to obey your words. I have sought your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise. I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes. I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands. Though the wicked bind me with ropes, I will not forget your law. At midnight I rise to give you thanks for your righteous laws. I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts. The earth is filled with your love, O LORD; teach me your decrees.

Yes, Lord, come today and be my portion. As I struggle just to make it through the day with my sanity, I need all that You have to offer. Having a kid sick with the flu, a husband away hunting, and a sweet little girl that needs more time and attention than I have to offer, I need Your portion – no other portion will do! Come, and “be gracious to me according to Your promise.”

Couldn’t we all use some of God’s grace? Oh, that He would come and fill us, as He is our portion. We can obey His words. We can seek His face with all our hearts. We must consider our ways and turn to His statutes, not following our own way, our own paths, our own desires. We must hasten and not delay to obey His commands, not forgetting His law. We can give Him thanks. We must fear Him, and be friends of those who fear Him. But in the end, we must remember, it is God who is our portion. It is He who reaches down and offers us His grace according to His promise. Not according to our works, but according to His promise. If He has promised it, we can count on it! And grace is one thing He has promised to all who ask.

Do you need some grace today? Go to the throne, and just ask. Let Him pour out all He has to offer, and then-some, on you as you seek His glorious, beautiful face.

News

2006-11-19T20:37:00.000-07:00

Dearest Friends,

I am sorry for my absence this last week from writing. Nolan, my little guy, had a sinus infection and would only sleep if mommy held him, and then we moved him into his new big-boy bed, and he has been trying to adjust to that change. Though it took a few nights, he really seems to like his new arrangements and is actually sleeping better than before! All praise and glory to God!!

Otherwise I am quite busy trying to edit the study I am currently working through with my Bible study here in Mesa, and working to get everything in-line for the next study, so that I can rest during the month of December and just celebrate Christmas. For some reason it always seems everything comes up at once, and that it is how it is going for me right now. Perhaps that is God's way of keeping me clinging to Him, because it will truly be by His grace that I get any of this done in the midst of all the activities filling my calendar.

In headline news, I actually get to spend Christmas in God's country this year, as we are traveling to Wyoming for the holiday. I am quite excited and am believing God for snow - lots of fluffy, white, perfect snow that will force me to stay inside with a hot cup of cocoa or coffee, reading a book. I can't wait to see Nolan as he experiences the wonder snow for the first time, and listen to Regann whine to go outside and then complain because she's cold. I can't wait to hear my husband, Chris, grump and mope around because of the wintry wonder of snow, and then offer to shovel the walk. Oh what an occasion!! As you can see, I am quite looking forward to freezing my fingers off, as it really isn't Christmas without a little frostbite!!

Anyway, I'll talk to you soon, as we continue through Psalm 119 together. In the mean-time, pray that I will get rested up so that my brain can properly process words again. (You wouldn't believe it, but it has taken me about 25 minutes to write this e-mail.)

OK then, see ya later! Much love - Andrea

Our Suffering

2006-11-11T01:27:00.000-07:00

Psalm 119:49-56
Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. The arrogant mock me without restraint, but I do not turn from your law. I remember your ancient laws, O LORD, and I find comfort in them. Indignation grips me because of the wicked, who have forsaken your law. Your decrees are the theme of my song wherever I lodge. In the night I remember your name, O LORD, and I will keep your law. This has been my practice: I obey your precepts.

Yesterday we talked of the persecution so many of our brothers and sisters experience across the globe. We are pretty lucky in this country, as any persecution we experience pales in comparison. However, when we are the ones who suffer, suddenly it becomes very personal and very painful, regardless of the scale.

No matter where we live, no matter what our stage in life, age in life, income level, status in society, etc. we will suffer. And when we do, God alone can give us the hope we need. His promises are the only salve that can soothe and strengthen us.

You and I need to diligently search His Word for His sweet promises, for His promises preserve our life. We need to learn them, believe them, and make them a part of every day. We need to remember His name in the night, as we lay on our beds longing for peace and rest. Because, ultimately, what will get us through is our focus – not on the here-and-now, on temporary things, but on eternity. Whatever we suffer, it will not last forever, praise His holy name!

So, let’s go to God, tell Him our heartaches, struggles, and pains. He will hold us, strengthen us, and remind us of His great promises. Look to Him, dear friend, for He is our hope in times of need.

A Little Pressure

2006-11-10T01:06:00.000-07:00

Psalm 119:41-48
May your unfailing love come to me, O LORD, your salvation according to your promise; then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in your word. Do not snatch the word of truth from my mouth, for I have put my hope in your laws. I will always obey your law, for ever and ever. I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts. I will speak of your statutes before kings and will not be put to shame, for I delight in your commands because I love them. I lift up my hands to your commands, which I love, and I meditate on your decrees.

This last weekend at our church we had a service for the persecuted church. There were many things that touched me about the service, and I am always so thankful to be reminded of the wonderful freedoms we have here in America.

Yet there was one thing that really got me, and is sticking with me. I can’t stop thinking about it, and that’s definitely a good thing. It is remarkable how the people in these countries cling to the Word of God! Some of them do not (or at least should not) even have access to a Bible, yet it is so dear and precious. They have outsiders bring Bibles to them, or recite entire books from memory (try doing that one!). They themselves have much of the Word memorized. They love it, consume it, drink it in. They are passionate about the Word. They are passionate about Jesus. And they are willing to die for both.

One thing said that has really made me think and reflect on my own life and habits, is that these people always make time to read and reflect upon God’s Word. No matter how tired they are, they still make the time to take it in. They spend hours, sometimes all night long, just worshipping God in secret, in the dark so as not to be caught. And when they are caught, they fearlessly proclaim Christ to their captors, sometimes to their own demise, sometimes to the demise of their family. They boldly speak of the One for whom they gladly suffer! One boy even said (after losing his ENTIRE family in a church fire) that it’s not hard being a Christian, because we have Jesus.

WOW!

Sometimes I wonder if a little persecution wouldn’t be good for the American church. Not that I desire it, as I truly enjoy the freedom to worship, serve, and speak freely of my Jesus. But it seems that it might do us some good – push us to our knees, pull us into the Word, and make us choose which side we’re really on.

A Church under pressure is one that will explode with the love of Christ!

Contentment

2006-11-07T01:08:00.000-07:00

Psalm 119:33-40
Teach me, O LORD, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end. Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart. Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word. Fulfill your promise to your servant, so that you may be feared. Take away the disgrace I dread, for your laws are good. How I long for your precepts! Preserve my life in your righteousness.

This time of the year always seems to breed discontentment in me. With the generosity of the season, I want to give, give, give, and our bank account just won’t allow it. That is when I begin to look around and notice all the people who have more than me and who can (seemingly) just go out and spoil all the people within their circle of influence.

Oh, how I wish that could be me! Gift-giving is definitely my love language, and I really don’t get to express it much, being a stay-at-home mom and all. So, rather than looking out, at all that I want and do not have, I need to look up. Up to the One who has everything. Yes, the One who is and has all that I need.

Verses 36-37, “Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word,” has become a passage very familiar and very dear to me. I cry these words from the very depths of my heart every time I begin to complain about our small house, or our not-so-new cars, or my “outdated” wardrobe, or our depleted bank account. Such stupid things, really – “worthless.”

When I read and meditate on this passage, and allow God to turn me toward His truth and His Word, I find that the discontentment fades, and I begin to see that there are at least twice as many people out there (probably many of you reading this) who are worse off than Chris and me! How lucky we are to even own a house! How lucky we are to have 2 working cars! How lucky we are to have the health of every single person under this roof! How lucky we are to have a family that loves each other (even the kids!), and looks out for each other, and prays for each other, and enjoys each other! How lucky we are to have Christ and His Word so easily accessible! How lucky we are!

How lucky, indeed.

Laid Low in the Dust

2006-11-06T01:17:00.000-07:00

Psalm 119:25-32
I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I recounted my ways and you answered me; teach me your decrees. Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, O LORD; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.

We’ve all been here, haven’t we? Big or small, our mistakes have a wonderful way of humbling us – “laying us low in the dust.” I was just there, as you know, and am still working my way out. God has definitely “preserved my life according to His Word.” Praise His holy name!

Tonight, this makes me think of Rev. Ted Haggard, who I really don’t know much about apart from the media frenzy that has surrounded him the last couple of days. He was, apparently, a very influential Christian leader, and it has been discovered that he has been maintaining a secret homosexual relationship for quite a while. In his apology to his church, he wrote “there is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life.”

I’m sure there are many Christians who are outraged, repulsed, and many other descriptive words over this whole incident. I, myself, am sad and so sorry for Mr. Haggard and his family. He was in Satan’s crosshairs, and like so many of us, he went down when he was hit. I think those of us who can see our own “repulsive and dark” sides will be sad for him and his family. Everyone else, well, in my opinion they are just turning a blind eye to their “repulsive and dark” side, because we all have them.

That is why we must be in the Word, not just for study, not just for discussion or to mark it off our list of things to do. No, we need to be consuming the Word, and letting its fire consume us. We need to ask God to preserve our lives and to strengthen us according to His Word. And when we see a brother or sister fall, we need to get down in the dust with them, take an elbow and help to lift them to their feet again. If it wasn’t them, it may have been us.

You see, it is in keeping our eyes on Christ and in the Word that we keep ourselves from worshiping and idolizing our Christian leaders. Then, if they stumble, rather than being disappointed and discouraged in our faith, we can simply walk beside them remembering that they are made out of dust, just like you and me. We can encourage them, and help to restore them.

Let’s pray for Rev. Haggard and his family – pray that God would preserve their lives, and strengthen them; pray that God would use this for His great glory, redeeming this situation in ways you and I could never imagine! And let’s pray for any other brothers or sisters who have fallen prey to the enemy’s flaming arrows – so swift and accurate. I pray that it not be one of us next time.

Longing For God's Word

2006-11-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

Psalm 119:17-24
Do good to your servant, and I will live; I will obey your word. Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law. I am a stranger on earth; do not hide your commands from me. My soul is consumed with longing for your laws at all times. You rebuke the arrogant, who are cursed and who stray from your commands. Remove from me scorn and contempt, for I keep your statutes. Though rulers sit together and slander me, your servant will meditate on your decrees. Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors.

Back to Psalm 119, though not out of “sharing my struggles mode.” I love Psalm 119, and am drawn to it when I find my passion for God’s Word dwindling, as I said on October 26. I especially love this section, as it reminds me that I need to be “consumed with longing for God’s laws at all times.” (emphasis mine) I don’t know about you, but that does not describe me, as much as I wish it did.

Actually, I guess that I am consumed with a longing for God’s Word quite frequently. I walk through my day desiring to spend some alone time with Him, somehow, sometime. However, it is in the follow-through that I tend to fall short – dramatically short. Somehow I can find time to study for my writing and my teaching, but with two little ones (who don’t like to sleep late in the morning, or much during the night sometimes), and a hubby with a strange work schedule, and, well, life in general, I find that it is my time in the Word with Jesus that tends to slip first. Since my second little guy has come along, I have had so much trouble getting back into this vital habit. I know how terribly important it is. I know how much better I feel when I go to Him first thing in the morning. I also can tell you that I am tired, and feel as though I am burning the candle at both ends most of the time.

I wonder how I am supposed to do all that I am called to do, and still find time for the rest that God commands of us. I am consumed with longing for God’s Word, because I do not get near enough time to just soak it up and consume it. I want God to open my eyes that I would see wonderful things in His Word. I want His statutes to be my delight and my counselors. I want these things so bad I can taste it. Yet, to my shame and dismay, I can tell you that today, once again, I have desired them only and not tasted at all.

Something’s got to give! I wish I had some answers here, but I don’t. I don’t know if this is something you struggle with, or not. I know I meet countless people who know the importance of a daily devotional time, but like me have trouble “working it in.” You and I cannot do what we are called to do if our roots do not go deep into the Word, into Jesus, into His truth, into His life-giving waters. Pray for me friends! And I will pray for you, that God would make a way, give us the energy, and draw us into a daily, maintainable time with Him. Deal?

Encouragment

2006-11-03T01:30:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

My goodness! The e-mails just came pouring in after I poured my heart out to you all. What a blessing! I can’t believe the encouragement and support you all poured out on me . . . I’m speechless. Well, almost. :)

I was thinking today about how it is so easy for me to look at Scripture and tell you what it means and how we should live accordingly. But I’ve gotten out of the habit, for the most part, of just sharing my heart with you, and what’s going on in my life. We need that, don’t we? Satan has a way of convincing us we’re all alone in our fights and struggles – we’re the only one’s who every mess up or make this kind of bad choice. When that is not the case at all!

This verse in Hebrews has been and still is my “call to action” verse for Morning SonRise. I want to encourage you daily, and I think one way I can do that is to share my struggles, disappointments, and failings with you. In this way, you will know that you are not alone! You are not the only one who messes up, and wonders when you’ll get it right. Not that I am giving excuses and saying it’s OK to mess up. We still need to fight the good fight, and do our best to grow ever-closer to Christ, in His likeness. However, we cannot allow Satan to corner us, and separate us from each other, hardening us through the lies he piles on top of the bad choices we make.

Find encouragement, then, dear friend, that I am not perfect – I am actually so far from perfect that I wonder how God could use me. It is only through His grace and by His mercy that I am allowed to work with Him, because I think I get more wrong then I do right, sometimes!

So, don’t be surprised to hear more of my life and the struggles I am wrestling with. Perhaps together we can walk this path and grow in Christ, supporting and encouraging each other as long as it is called Today.

From the (clogged) Heart

2006-11-01T01:13:00.000-07:00

I have no verse from which I write today, just my heart . . . and my stomach. I have messed up - made a bad choice - and now, as I wait for the axe to fall, it seems to be all I can think about. I can't wrap my mind around Scripture, or what I'm supposed to be preparing for this week's lesson in Bible study. My stomach is sick and I feel like I have something stuck in my throat. It doesn't help that I feel it's being blown out-of-proportion, though it may not be. I don't know - I'm probably a little too close to the situation to really know.

I accept all blame and culpability. It was my choice, done in the knowledge (though not consciously) that it wasn't the way things are supposed to work, and I take all the blame. So, why is it so hard to accept the consequences? I mean, if I know I screwed up, I know I made a bad choice, why is it so hard to then accept that there are repercussions of those bad choices? I find myself playing in my head any number of scenarios, and what I would say in each one. On the one-hand I want to lash-out, and show them that there are certain things outside of my control that lead me to this choice. However, it was still my choice to make and I chose wrong. On the other hand, I want desperately to do what Jesus wants me to do. I just know, from experience, that that path is almost always the more difficult.

As I think about this, and look over what I am writing, it occurs to me that I could very well be talking about some big, bad moral sin. HA-HA! If I told you the circumstances, which I do not feel at liberty to do just yet, you'd probably laugh and wonder why I'm freaking out so bad. I don't know. Perhaps that is why I am writing this . . . it is what is in my heart - a big log stuck in there, blocking all other reason and thought. It could also be James 5:16 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james%205:16;&version=31;) speaking here - getting this off my chest and hoping it will free me to focus on what I really need to be doing.

So, what do I do in the mean-time? I find myself asking God, "What do You have for me in this?" Surely, there is something here for me to learn, and to walk away with. More humility for one, and that's always a plus (as much as it hurts). But what else? I don't know, I suppose I have to wait and see. I just pray that I can walk through this with integrity, honesty, and with the light of Jesus shining forth.

I could sure use your prayers. And hopefully this will be over soon, and I can walk away looking a little more like my Man, Jesus.

Pure Ways

2006-10-31T01:54:00.000-07:00

Psalm 119:9-16
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, O LORD; teach me your decrees. With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth. I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

It seems to me there are four things listed in this passage that will ignite a passion within us for God and His Word, helping us to live pure lives.

First, we need to hide His Word in our hearts. Scripture memorization is so helpful in so many ways. It aides us when we are facing temptation, doubt, or deception. We can use it when helping or teaching others, or when the Spirit is helping and teaching us. We must hide God’s Word in our hearts, giving us the tools to build up ourselves and those around us whenever and wherever the Spirit provides the opportunity.

Second, we need to recount, verbally, all God’s laws and precepts. We need to talk about what God is teaching us and what we are learning. We need to have those we can talk to about all that God is doing in our lives, reminding ourselves of His amazing activity. We need to teach God’s laws, His Word, and all He is doing to our children and their children. There is just something about verbalizing such things that makes it more real and vibrant.

Third, we need to meditate on God’s precepts, and consider His ways. I think this goes hand-in-hand with #2, above. When we have time to stop and think, instead of letting our minds wander to our to-do list, to things that are perhaps unhealthy or stressful, or whatever, we should let our minds focus on God and His ways. Consider what He has done and is doing. Consider the passage of Scripture you read recently and what God is trying to teach you, personally, in it. Meditate on God’s precepts, consider His marvelous ways!

Fourth, we must not neglect God’s Word. Nothing can spark a fire in us like the Word of God, itself… Himself. No amount of Scripture memorization and meditation, of talking about God and His works, of thinking about His Word and focusing on Him can replace time in the Word, with the Word. So, find 10 minutes today when you can sit quietly down, and open up your Bible. Jesus will meet you there – expect the miraculous!

Obedience

2006-10-30T01:29:00.000-07:00

Psalm 119:4-8
You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed. Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands. I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me.

As we continue our journey into Psalm 119, we see one of the keys to the victorious Christian walk – obedience. I love the second sentence here, as it is my heart’s cry – “Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying Your decrees!” I couldn’t have said it any better. That last sentence, however, should say something a little more like, “I will try to obey your decrees…” Try seems to be about all I can muster most days. I would imagine a lot of people feel the same.

I wonder if we’re too hard on ourselves. I know I have many friends who say that about me, and I’m beginning to see how it could be true. I took this weekend “off.” With having a cold, my little guy still fighting a nasty cold and not sleeping, and my husband out-of-town, I decided to take it easy and just relax. Yet all weekend long I fought guilt, thinking I was slacking and not doing enough – devotionals to write, messages to prepare, and books to read. I wonder if sometimes I confuse overwork and getting everything done I think needs to be done, with obedience. That’s definitely something I’m going to need to pray about.

How about you? Do you sometimes confuse obedience with working too hard, doing all the right things (though with wrong motive or attitude), finishing your “to do” list, going to all the right church functions . . . . this list could be endless, couldn’t it. I think we need to remember that God is looking at our hearts more than our actions. And when our hearts are in the right place, our actions will easily follow.

And so, “I will praise Him with an upright heart as I learn His righteous laws.” That’s something I can do. How about you?

God's Word

2006-10-26T01:54:00.000-06:00

Psalm 119:1-3
Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD. Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart. They do nothing wrong; they walk in his ways.

I have been seeking to fan the flame of my desire for God’s Word these days, and have therefore been drawn to Psalm 119. I love how this Psalm reminds us of the beauty and benefits of being in the Word, and following its statutes. In this time of stress and high-activity it is good for me to remember the sweet joy of simply spending time with God in Scripture. Not for study, not for writing, just for the pure enjoyment of Jesus.

Immediately, Psalm 119 reminds us that we are blessed when we walk according to the Word, when we keep God’s statutes and seek Him. In all that we do, we must look to Him and His Word for guidance.

This passage tells us our ways should be blameless when walking “according to the law of the LORD.” In fact, we are blameless in the sight of God, thanks to the work of Christ on the cross. As a result of that work, our thankfulness and love should give us motivation to keep His statutes and to continue seeking Him with all our hearts. When we walk in His ways, we do nothing wrong…if only we could do this every moment of every day! Amen?

Run to the Word of God, find hope, encouragement, and strength in the sweet pages of Scripture. Seek God with all your heart, and let His Word guide your every step today!

God's Wondrous Works

2006-10-21T01:29:00.000-06:00

Psalm 104:24
O LORD, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches.

I went to the Grand Canyon this week with my family for the very first time. Yes, I have lived in Arizona for over 8 years, and have just visited the state’s most recognizable feature. Oh how I wish I had gone sooner.

I can’t stop thinking about it.

It has captivated my mind and thoughts since I set eyes on it. It has touched me deep within, as I imagine my Creator speaking it into existence. Yes, Jesus has captured my heart, once again, with this amazing piece of workmanship.

Psalm 104:24 is the verse I found on a plaque on one of the buildings. When I read it, it so perfectly described how I felt that it brought me to tears. I was so blessed to see that it had not been removed for fear of offending someone, rather it publicly proclaimed the Artist whose hand had carved the very wonder everyone was there to experience!

I cannot even fully express how it has affected me. Even now I am in tears thinking about how magnificent it was. . . almost too precious to share.

So, I will leave you with the poem that followed this verse on the plaque:

“Father Almighty, wonderful Lord, Wondrous Creator, be ever adored; Wonders of nature sing praises to You, Wonder of wonders - I may praise too!” MB

All We Need

2006-10-20T01:01:00.000-06:00

Proverbs 3:13-18
Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.

Wisdom and understanding – something we all truly need. It seems so illusive, doesn’t it? As though something never to be gotten or attainted. Yet, we look for it – we search in schools, books, magazines, the starts – everywhere. Rather ironic, isn’t it, that the very book from which these words come is the very book in which we will find wisdom and understanding.

They are not something we can attain or achieve; rather we receive them through the person of Jesus Christ. He is all the wisdom and understanding we need, after all, He’s the smartest man ever. He knows all things, so with Him, we can know all that we need! Isn’t that an amazing thought? I love the idea that He is truly all we need, even when it comes to knowledge.

And look at all that we get through the wisdom and understanding afforded us in Christ – profit more than silver, better returns that gold! We will have something more precious than rubies, long life, riches, and honor. We will have pleasant ways, following paths of peace. Truly, we will be blessed if we follow these ways!

What do you desire in life? Wisdom? “Nothing you desire can compare to her.”

Bragin' on Our Jesus

2006-10-18T01:43:00.000-06:00

Galatians 6:14
May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is a new creation.

Boasting in Christ. How often do we boast in Christ? How often do we go around boasting about what Christ is doing in our lives, our churches, our families? Not very often, I would be willing to bet, at least for most of us. Sure, it’s easy to boast about the achievements of our children, our spouse, even ourselves, but start to mention Jesus and most people shut-down or put up the thickest wall of defense we’ve ever seen. And so, Jesus is not someone we tend to mention much is He?

I wonder what it would take to get you and me to start talking about Jesus everyday, in ordinary ways (not that Jesus is ordinary – far from it! But to talk about Him as though He is a constant part of our lives). I read an e-mail some time ago about how our lives would be so much different if we would treat our Bibles the way we treat our cell phones – always with us, always in it, always consulting it when we have extra time or a problem, etc. It makes me wonder how much of the world really has seeped into my pores.

So, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder – am I a new creation? Yes! Praise God, I am!! I am not the person I was – even compared to 3 years ago! So, is the rest of life reflecting that newness? Or am I still caught up in the habits of the old creation, like a butterfly stuck in his cocoon? Am I truly dead to the world and all its trappings? Is the world truly dead to me, holding no appeal or luster? And is Jesus the one person I am truly proud of? I don’t know.

These are tough questions I need to ask myself. I need to spend some time reflecting and ask God to reveal the truth to me. I wonder, would you ask them of yourself along with me? Then we can face the answers together and work side-by-side to become those who truly desire to brag about Jesus and all that He is!

Just Like . . .

2006-10-16T01:11:00.000-06:00

Galatians 6:12-13
Those who want to make a good impression outwardly are trying to compel you to be circumcised. The only reason they do this is to avoid being persecuted for the cross of Christ. Not even those who are circumcised obey the law, yet they want you to be circumcised that they may boast about your flesh.

There are those, even in Christendom, who want to be popular. Hey, we all want to be liked, right? But these people will take it step further – maybe even two or three steps. Or one giant leap. These are the people who are going to start preaching to us and teaching us that we need to be like them. They want a little fan club, with people they can point to and say, “Look at all the people who are just like me! See how much they love me?”
You and I need to be cautious when we come across teachers and preachers who begin to set themselves up as the standard, instead of Christ. When these people begin to tell us that we need to be just like them, and try to step-up as the example we are to live up to, great big bells and whistles should start sounding in every cell of our bodies. Christ, alone, is our standard, and we need to seek to be like Him and no one else. Of course, if we all are trying to be like Christ, then it seems to reason that we’ll start looking similar. However, it is Jesus we look to, Jesus we praise, Jesus we look like, and Jesus who gets all the credit. No one else.
You and I need to steer-clear of those teachers who would tell us to look and act like them. And we need to watch ourselves, that we don’t get drawn into the game of wanting everyone to look and act like us. Jesus loves diversity, and so should we!

Mocking God

2006-10-13T01:13:00.000-06:00

Galatians 6:7-8
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

This one is pretty clear, isn’t it? I’m not sure I really even need to say anything.

Let’s just spend some time reflecting on our current “state of affairs.” Are we mocking God and His tremendous gift of grace? Are we spitting upon the gift of Jesus and His blood? With what we are sowing today, what will we reap tomorrow?

I pray that each of us will be reaping eternal life (and all that goes with it), rather than destruction.

Are you mocking God? Scary thought, isn’t it?

Our Instructors

2006-10-12T01:02:00.000-06:00

Galatians 6:6
Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.

Here we have one verse of many that supports our having paid pastors and teachers. We would like to think that our pastors and teachers should be willing to work and study and learn all for free. Yet, when it comes to our jobs we can readily see that we need compensation (and most everyone would say they don’t get what they deserve – whatever that may be). We tend to think that this is a new concept, paying our leaders, and wonder if it is even Biblical. Well, as you can see, it is.
It was Biblical even before Christ. The Israelites were commanded to take their tithes to the temple, and the Levites (those set aside to do the work of the Lord) were then fed and taken care of through those offerings. Now, you and I could give groceries, or land, or houses, or cars, or whatever (and I’ve heard of people doing this), but really, it’s much easier to give a tithe of our income, and let that go to take care of our modern-day Levites.
I like that this verse says that we “must share all good things” (emphasis mine). Not our leftovers, the things we don’t like anymore, the things that we are debating throwing away and think that maybe the church would like them instead. Even the Israelites were told to give the first fruits of their crops – the first, the best, not whatever is left unwanted. These brothers and sisters share their time, energy, and talents with us, and so we should be willing (and eager) to share with them, don’t you agree?
This could even go beyond the church to other ministries we have been blessed by. I can think of so many that God has used to bless my life. Perhaps you don’t have money to give, but I’m sure you have something else you could offer. I bet we’d be surprised at what God can do with our gifts and talents when we offer them to Him.
Let’s go to God today and ask what He would have us share. I’m sure we can each name one or two people in our lives that have blessed us immensely with their teaching and insight. Let’s go to God today and ask how we can return the blessing to them! (And guess what? We’ll probably be blessed right back again! Isn’t God wonderful?!)

Comparisons

2006-10-11T01:05:00.000-06:00

Galatians 6:3-5
If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.

We’ve talked about others sinning, and our helping to carry their burdens, but now the focus comes right back around to us. It is generally more difficult to look at ourselves honestly, than it is to look at others, isn’t it? I wonder why that is.
I think that most of us have one of two reactions to an inward look – we are either too soft, or too harsh. We can sugar-coat everything, convincing ourselves that our motives are pure, and our actions are God-centered. Or we can just beat ourselves up for each and every little thing we do wrong, always assuming the worst of ourselves. Which do you lean toward? I know exactly where I land.
Neither is a healthy way of living, and it takes a lot of time, practice, and help to get to the point where honest introspection comes naturally. Honesty is so important, as is resisting the urge to compare ourselves to others (which is another thing we like to do – both good and bad). However, when we get to the point where we can finally look at and test our actions, and see them for what they truly are, we will be able to look to God for any adjustments we will need, and go on our way. We will be able to see what He wants of us, and whether or not that is the direction we are headed. Easier said than done, isn’t it? Then we can be proud about what God is doing in and through us. Not a haughty pride, but a pride that looks into the face of God, and declares His great glory every step of the way.
Why should we work toward this? Because God has something He wants to do in and through each and every one of us. And each adventure is different. Completely different. We cannot compare, because there is no way to do so and have it really work. What God is asking of me will not be what He asks of you. And each of us needs to “carry his own load,” because there is no one else in the same position to be as effective. There is no one else uniquely and perfectly equipped to do what God has designed us to do.
So let’s step-up, look at ourselves honestly, and ask God what He would have us do next. Let’s not worry about next year, next week, or even tomorrow, only what He wants us to do today. Will you join me?

Burdens

2006-10-10T01:10:00.000-06:00

Galatians 6:2
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

We talked yesterday about gently restoring a fellow brother or sister when they have sinned. This verse brings us to the next part of that thought. Not only should we restore those who have sinned, but we also need to carry each other’s burdens. We need to help each other when we are suffering, weary, struggling with temptation or with life in general. We need to be Jesus with skin-on.
Here’s the thing. In order to be able to bear each other’s burdens (and have our own burdens shared), we need to be involved in each other’s lives. We can’t bear the burden of another person if we do not even know they have a burden to bear.
This also means we need to be willing to open up to those around us, share our struggles, pain, disappointments, hopes, and dreams. We must let them come beside us and help us, strengthen us, challenge us, encourage us, speak into our lives, and even sacrifice for us, just as we would do for them.
Do you have people in your life with whom you are living life? Are you building the kind of relationship with them that allows you to open up to them and them to you? Are you willing to sacrifice for them, be inconvenienced for them? Are you willing to humble yourself and let them sacrifice and be inconvenienced for you?
God created us to live in fellowship with one-another. We will not grow and experience all that He has for us if we are not living intimately with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. If you have people like this in your life, praise God for them today, and seek Him (and them) to discover if there is a burden of theirs that you can help them carry. If not, pray that God would bring those people into your life. Since it is His desire that we would live like this, I’m sure He has just the right people in mind for each and every one of us!

Restoration

2006-10-09T11:25:00.000-06:00

Galatians 6:1
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

Ah yes, someone else being caught in a sin. Juicy gossip. Righteous outrage. Judgmental stares. Apparently, that isn’t what God wants us to do. OK, so now what?
We restore them. “Restore them?!?” Yes, restore them gently.
The Greek word for “restore” is translated “to mend, to repair; to strengthen, perfect, complete, make one what he ought to be.” Wow! That’s quite different from the approach we often take, isn’t it? Many times, in our churches, we throw them out, distance ourselves from them, pretending we have every right to do so. Now, if this person has been caught and refuses to repent, continuing in their sin, that’s a whole different scenario. However, when the person admits that they are in the wrong, and begin taking steps toward healing and forgiveness, we need to be there to help them, to mend and repair them, to strengthen them, to make them what they ought to be. And we need to do so gently, not being harsh and cruel. Just as we would re-set a child’s broken arm, so we need to be when we are helping to re-set a sister or brother’s broken spirit.
Is this the approach we take when we see a sister or brother fall? Or do we react more harshly, judgmentally? Let’s be the ones to give them help, to love on them, to support them, to pray for them. Let’s be the ones that do not talk about them and their failures. After all, next time, it could be us!

Swept Away

2006-10-07T01:20:00.000-06:00

Galatians 5:25-26
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

We have been talking about living in the Spirit – watching for Him every day in everything we do, everywhere we go. This is a tough habit to form, isn’t it? We tend to be so easily distracted with what we need to get done, where we are supposed to be, etc. It takes practice, conscious practice. And when we find our minds have strayed, we need to stop and re-focus, asking God to bring our focus back to Him.
Yet, this is not all. We must take it a step further. We must not only look for Him, but we must then participate with Him in whatever work He is doing. We can see His hand leading us to a needy person, but we must then step-up and help that person out. We must be the hands of Jesus. And we must grasp His hand, and follow His lead. It is not enough to merely recognize His presence and movement. We must allow ourselves to be swept up by His Spirit, and be carried away with Him.
Otherwise, as it says, we may “become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” There’s that enemy tactic again – getting us to fight with each other, so that we ignore him and the world completely. Again, I just think that it comes back to the fact that when we stop focusing on God, we begin to focus on ourselves, and that just never ends up good.
Let’s walk by the Spirit today, keeping in step with Him. Let Him sweep you up and carry you away. Look for Him, loved one, as He is relentlessly pursuing you!

A Little Fruit for Thought

2006-10-06T10:26:00.000-06:00

Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

When we are living by the Spirit, and allowing Him to change us, as we have discussed the last two days, the fruit that is produced in our lives will be magnificent! When we have the fruit of the Spirit, people begin to take notice that we are different. Different from the world around us, and different from how we used to be.
I’m sure each and every one of us could look at this list and see all the areas in which we fall short. Yet, what a beautiful thing it is when we begin to see the Spirit’s work in us each and every day, in each and every little situation. We see the fruit He is producing, and begin to marvel that He is changing us little-by-little. When we begin looking for God in all things, every day, walking in the Spirit, these fruits will be the result of the cultivation of that relationship. And “against such things there is no law.” In other-words we can practice these things as much as we want, as much as we can. We can have an abundant crop, and still have room for more.
Today, let’s each take the time to look at the fruit God has been producing in us. I know that many times we are urged to look at this list and take stock of what we need to work on, but I think we get plenty of that. Sometimes we need to see how far we’ve come, instead of how far we have to go. (I think we’re all acutely aware that we’ve each got a LONG way!) So let’s look at our “branches” and see what is growing there, praising God for the miraculous work in us!
Walk today in the knowledge that God is doing a great, miraculous, and beautiful work in you!

Sinful Nature

2006-10-05T01:02:00.000-06:00

Galatians 5:19-21
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

If you’re like me you probably skimmed over this list and thought, “Yep! That’s how ‘they’ live!” Yet if we take a closer look, we will find that we are described in here too. “Hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy…” I wish I could say that not a single one of these describes me, but then I would be lying, and that’s sinful too, so what’s the point of pretending?
I’m sure you noticed the last sentence of this passage, reminding us that “those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” This is where we begin to panic, wondering if our sin means that we won’t be heirs with Christ. Don’t panic. This passage is telling us that it is a life of sin that does not inherit God’s kingdom. It is when sin is a way of life, a constant and consistent way of reacting and living that we must then take a look inside ourselves and begin to ask the tough questions. “Do I desire to change?” “If not, why? Is it that I am lacking conviction from the Holy Spirit, evidence of no relationship with Christ?” “If I have the desire to change, what can I do to allow Christ to begin that process within me?”
If sin is not the way of life for you, then you can probably see the conviction of the Spirit in your life, and the process of change He is leading you through. Yet, we must continue to watch ourselves and our attitudes. Many of the sins we tend to leave un-checked are some of the ones that can be most damaging, because they are subtle and often left to their own devices. If left to simmer and grow they can ruin friendships, relationships, ministries, families, even entire churches. We must listen to the Spirit, and allow Him to guide us and change us, one day, one moment at a time. This means we must be willing to see and admit to our mistakes, wrong thoughts, and negative attitudes.
Is there an attitude or thought that the Holy Spirit has been nagging you about? We need to begin by admitting our sin to God, and asking for forgiveness and help to change. Then we need to find a friend or two with whom we can build an accountability relationship – a safe place to share, grow, and be challenged to change. If you have no one with whom you feel safe, begin by asking God to send someone your way, and watch for His quick (though possibly unexpected) answer.
When we watch for God and follow His lead each day, we will begin to taste of all that He has for us. This, in turn, will keep us from living lives of sin, as we are led in righteousness through God’s Spirit. Let’s start today, together!

Living by the Spirit

2006-10-04T01:00:00.000-06:00

Galatians 5:16
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

We always hear teachers and preachers telling us to “live by the Spirit,” but what exactly does that mean? It seems like it should be so simple, so why are we always struggling against “the desires of the sinful nature”?
I won’t pretend to have the answer here, but let’s take a moment to look at this together. When I read this in context, Paul seems to be intimating that it is about our focus. Just as we have been talking, are we focused inward or outward? Are we focused on Christ and others, or us, us, us? We’ve pretty-much hashed that one out, haven’t we?
So what else do we need to be conscious of? One thing that God seems to be driving home with me these days is living NOW. Not focusing on the past or even the future, but living today, enjoying today, solving today’s problems, experiencing God today.
It is so easy for me to wonder and think of all that God has in-store for my future, thinking and day-dreaming about all the different possibilities. When I do this, I believe that I steal from myself the present moment and all that God has in-store for me today. Of course we need to plan for and take care-of the future as much as we can. But we also need to be aware that God’s plans often are not our own.
It seems that when I spend so much time wallowing in (or else glorifying) the past, or dreaming about the future, the little things of each day tend to take me by surprise. Hence, it’s much easier to fall prey to the desires of the sinful nature. I forget to walk with God today, to talk to Him, to listen to Him, and to just be aware of Him at each moment. I am looking forward to experiencing Him instead of experiencing Him right now.
Let’s start by “practicing the presence of God” today. Be aware of His presence, and what He may be telling us at any given moment. We can go to the Word and discover what He wants us to know for today. He desires to be in relationship with us all the time, each and every moment of each and every day. He is seeking to envelop us in His love and grace and mercy, and I think that so often we miss it! Live for God today, friend, for you will never live this moment again!

Biting and Devouring

2006-10-03T01:06:00.000-06:00

Galatians 5:14-15
The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

This verse piggy-backs yesterday’s thought – looking out for each other, building unity, and living in harmony. We are to love each other, just as Christ has loved us.
Yet, “biting and devouring” is often a great way to describe what goes on within the church walls, isn’t it? We all know that this isn’t what God desires, but let’s take a look at what it accomplishes. I believe it is one of the enemy’s greatest tactics to divide the Church, getting us to fight with each other and bringing each other down, for a couple of reasons.
First, it goes back to the simple concept of divide and conquer. When we are separated and focused on fighting each other, we do not work together and fight as a team. It’s easier for the enemy to attack us in our weakened state. We begin to see each other as the enemy, tearing down our fellow brothers and sisters in a futile effort to build ourselves up. Eventually, we will destroy ourselves and everyone around us in the process.
The second thing I believe this accomplishes is pushing those in the world away from our churches. Why would they want to be a part of something that is really no different than that which they already have? They can get gossip, backstabbing, and in-fighting in their workplace, other organizations, and even their homes.
However, when we are working together, supporting each other, helping each other to heal and grow, the world will see that we have something they deeply desire. They will want to be a part of it, even at-first simply to be loved and accepted as they are. We will be able to fight for each other, and band together to fight the enemy – if two is better than one, imagine the effect of 2 million!
Let’s work together, support each other, and love each other, just as we discussed yesterday. Let’s band together to build a healthy Body, drawing those who are not yet a part of us into our loving Arms, helping them to recognize their need for the love and life found in Christ.

Lukewarmness

2006-10-02T01:01:00.000-06:00

Galatians 5:9
"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough."

Are there any bakers out there? If so, then you will understand this concept, probably better than even I do.
Yeast, often used to describe sin in the Bible, is actually a living thing, a fungus that grows rapidly and wildly under the right circumstances. In fact, it takes lukewarm water (and a little bit of sugar) to activate it and begin its growth process. Revelation 3:15-16 talks about the deeds of Laodicea, how they are not cold or hot, but lukewarm. I think of cold deeds being cool, refreshing, encouraging, and energizing. Where-as hot deeds would be warm, comforting, soothing, and calming. Lukewarm deeds would be neither, probably self-centered, self-righteous, and judgmental – a perfect place for the yeast of sin to grow and spread.
Have you ever noticed that sometimes it only takes one person to get a while group of people riled up? Gossip, backstabbing, division, and dissention often start with only one person and it grows from there.
So, how can we protect ourselves from this? We need to have hot or cold deeds – cold deeds won’t activate the yeast, and hot deeds kill it off. Instead of being self-focused, we need to be focused on Jesus and others. When we are consumed with serving others, lifting them up, comforting them, and helping them out, we don’t have the time (or generally the desire) to allow yeast to get in the way and ruin the wonderful things we have going on.
Let’s start today by thinking of someone we can help soothe and comfort, or encourage and refresh. Send them a card, take them a meal, make them some cookies, or even just give them a call or a hug. We were designed to live in community with each other, and this is one of the many reasons why.

Love

2006-09-30T01:00:00.000-06:00

Galatians 5:6
For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

I think this verse is pretty clear and self-explanatory. Not really all that much to say here, so I will just re-iterate what I said a few days ago. Faith is the way we experience our relationship with Jesus – if we have a relationship we have faith, and if we have faith in Christ we have a relationship with Him. It is not mere head-knowledge that constitutes faith in Jesus – it’s deeper than that.
That relationship, at its most basic level, is expressed through love. We could boil the entire Bible down to that one word. Love. God made us to love us. He gave us a choice so that we would truly love Him. He loved us so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to earth for us. Jesus loved us so much that He suffered and died for us after living a perfectly blameless life. In love, He pursues and woos us into a love relationship, through faith. We are to love Him enough that we obey Him. We are to love Him with all that we have, and all that we are – with our minds, our hearts, our bodies, our souls – our thoughts, our emotions, our physical bodies, and our spirit. And because of His love for us, and our love for Him, we will overflow onto those around us, loving our friends, our enemies, our family, our neighbors. Everyone we come into contact with should sense the love flowing from our very pores. Not our love. The love of Christ Jesus. It is as if we are a conduit, a hose, and when we are hooked up to the source, we can’t help but pour out that which is being poured in.
Let’s look to Jesus today, and ask Him to fill us with His love, to pour our His love to us and through us to each and every person we come into contact with. And after today, let’s do the same thing tomorrow. And the next day. Until each-and-every-day we are spreading the love of Jesus to a needy, yet unsuspecting world!

Freedom

2006-09-29T01:21:00.000-06:00

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Freedom, as a Biblical concept, can be a little difficult for Americans to grasp. We tend to see freedom as the freedom to do something, where-as Biblical freedom generally refers to freedom from something.
The first sentence of this verse seems a little silly at first, doesn’t it? Of course, Christ set us free for freedom – DUH!! If we’ve been set free, then we obviously have freedom, right? Unfortunately, I think there are so many of us who have been set free who are not living in freedom. It’s as if we are in prison – a damp, musty cell, wasting away, and Jesus comes along and opens the cell door. We are free!! Free from all the horrors prison life has cast our way. Yet we still have to be the ones to stand up and walk out that door. I wonder how many Christians are still sitting in their cells, just staring at the open door wondering why they aren’t experiencing freedom.
You and I must follow Jesus out the door into the great unknown! It can be so scary, not knowing exactly what to expect, but we can be sure of one thing – it will be MUCH better than where we were before. And when things get tough, or temptation comes our way, we must stand firm, and not run back to that which we know best, where we think we are more comfortable; we cannot run back into our prison cell. You and I must be diligent about reforming new habits to replace the old ones. We must create new “comfort places” that are far from our prison cells.
Yes they were familiar and seemingly easy, but “it is for freedom that Christ has set us free,” not so we can wallow in our misery, while staring at the open door and whining that we just can’t get free. Let’s stand up and walk out that door! One step-at-a-time, we can walk away from the bondage and into glorious freedom! Won’t you join me?

New Clothes

2006-09-28T01:03:00.000-06:00

Galatians 3:26-27
You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

What does it mean to be clothed with Christ? What should that look like?
Now, granted, I’m a woman, so when I think of clothing, I think of it as being one of the first things I notice on a person. Clothing is one of the ways we express ourselves – our likes, interests, priorities. We can tell a lot about a person, generally speaking, just by their clothes. I wonder, does Christ express who we are? More importantly, I think, do we express who Christ is to a dying, desperate, and hopeless world?
I believe to be clothed with Christ means that we walk in the knowledge of who we are, of whose we are. Our likes, dislikes, and priorities mirror the likes, dislikes, and priorities of Christ. When we are clothed with Christ, it shouldn’t take long for those around us to notice that there is something different about us.
Interestingly, the Greek word for “clothed,” enduo, means “to sink into, put on…” and it’s from the root word duno, meaning “to go into, enter, be plunged into…” Wow! We need to sink into Christ, plunging into Him. What a wonderful thought! Like a pair of silky pajamas, and the softest comfy chair, we need to sink into Christ, and just let Him consume us – consume our thoughts, our desires, our focus, our priorities… the list could be endless. We need to let Him consume all that we have and all that we are, until He is the very expression of all that we are, and all that we desire to be.
When people look at you and me, do they see Christ? I guess a better question to ask ourselves would be, do they see the truth of Christ, or do they see our idea of Him? As Christians we represent the One whose name we bear. I just wonder if I am showing off the real thing, a priceless treasure, or a cheap imitation? Let’s sink into Jesus today, and let Him begin to change us stitch-by-stitch!

Faith, Not Law

2006-09-27T01:11:00.000-06:00

Galatians 3:23-25
Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.

Ah, the law. A difficult one this can be. (Oh man, I’m beginning to sound like Yoda – yikes!) We like knowing the rules, our boundaries, and we like the thought that as long as we stay within them we’ll be OK. Following the rules, obedience, that’s what this Christian life is about, right??
I don’t think it is.
I think God is more interested in our heart than our obedience. He is looking for love and a relationship, and that relationship is experienced and expressed through faith.
The law was put into place to “lead us to Christ,” to let us know that we fall terribly short and need help. It is not to show us that we need Christ, and then show us what we need to do to maintain that relationship. We do not have to follow a list of things “to do” in order to stay in relationship with Christ. Isn’t that a freeing thought?
I think the best way to look at it is to think about a parent’s relationship with a child, as that is often how our relationship with God is described. A child is a child, whether they are rebellious or obedient, and generally they are loved either way, as well. However, parents do ask certain things of their children. Sometimes they obey because they know they need to, “or else,” and so it is with us. There are just some rules we’d better not break, or the consequences could send us reeling. However, the times a parent delights in their child the most are the times when the child does something not because they were asked a hundred times (or more – UGH!), not because the parent stood over them and forced them, but because they knew the gesture would delight the parent. And so it does. It is delightful when a child does the right thing because they love their mom or dad, because they want to make them happy, make them smile.
So, I believe, it is with God. He is delighted when our obedience is an expression of our love for Him. And as we focus on Christ and follow Him each day, He will teach us His discipline, not our own, after all that is what it means to be a “disciple.” We are disciples of Christ, because we place ourselves under His teaching to learn His disciplines, the way He does things. This is much more delightful than following a set of rules, isn’t it?
Do your disciplines – Bible reading and study, prayer, fasting, etc. – result from following a list of things to do, or are they an expression of your relationship with Christ, a natural extension of all that He is teaching you? That’s a pretty tough question to answer isn’t it? I find that even I am having trouble knowing, for sure. Let’s spend some time talking to God about it today, and discover where each of us needs to go from here.

Human Effort

2006-09-25T23:29:00.000-06:00

Galatians 3:2-3, 5
Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?...Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?

We, as Christians, understand that we are brought into relationship with Jesus through our belief – our understanding of the truth and our willingness to submit to its authority over our lives. Saved by grace – the mighty grace of God. Yet, when it comes time to grow in Him and in faith, we decide to take matters into our own hands, generally.
We cannot become like Christ through our own efforts – nothing we do will mold us to be like Him. God, alone, can change us and make us more like Christ. He has many tools by which He does this – the Word, prayer, fasting, fellowship – yet He is the only One who can truly change us. Merely reading the Bible won’t do us much good, if we’re not reading it in the context of our relationship with God. Prayer isn’t much good if we simply rattle off a bunch of words and call it good for the day.
No, Jesus forms us to look like Him by hanging out with us. Spending time with God will begin to change our habits, our thinking, our talk, our ways. What are some ways you like to hang out with God? When you read your Bible, are you reading God’s letter to you, or just some old books that have some really wise sayings (sayings, consequently, that your spouse really should take to heart!)? When you pray, do you consider it a one-time event each day, a quick conversation and then you’re on your way? Let’s be honest – I won’t “read” your answer, if you won’t “read” mine.
Spend some time thinking about (and asking God) how you can make Him a part of everything you do, the most important part of your life. We can’t do this Christian life on our own, no matter how many spiritual disciplines we check off our lists, if we’re not doing them with the only One who has the power to change us dramatically, permanently, perfectly.

Remembering the Poor

2006-09-25T00:21:00.000-06:00

Galatians 2:10
All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.

America, “Land of Opportunity.” This is the place where dreams are made and come true . . . for some. For others, however, life is not so good, dealing them a hand less desirable. It’s easy to think that because we are doing OK, everyone else should be too. If we can make a living, so should everyone else.
We have no idea the situations that lead to a person needing help. We probably couldn’t fathom the lives people have had, leading them to desperation. We’ve all made mistakes, and we should be thankful if ours have not given us over to a life on welfare or on the streets. If it has, well, then you can be sure that God has not forgotten you!
We, as Christians, are to remember the poor – what exactly does that mean? You know, the early Church, as it is often referred to, took care of each other. If there was someone poor among them, struggling to make ends-meat, they would help that person. When I think about that I often think of the LDS church. Now, I’m not advocating their beliefs by any-means, however, when it comes to remembering their poor, they have it figured out! They have a better “welfare” system than the government! They take care of each other, help each other find work, and get clothes and groceries. I am amazed at all they accomplish by simply remembering others, and acting on their behalf.
I have been marked by a study of the word “remember,” as I learned that when God remembers us it means that He is acting on our behalf. It is not as though He ever forgot us, it is just that He is taking our situation into consideration and doing something about it. (Conversely, when He “forgets” our sin, it means that He does not take it into consideration when dealing with us – praise His mercy!)
So, when we are told to remember the poor, it is not as though we are being asked to think about them, feel sorry for them, or wonder at their plight. Rather, we are being urged to do something for them – donate to the benevolence fund at our churches, donate time or money to our local rescue missions, take dinner to someone in need, give them clothes they may need. . . whatever the Lord may lay on our hearts! We should not be surprised at what He may give to others through us. And I would imagine that we will end up just as blessed (if not more) than those who are receiving!
Won’t you pray today and ask God whom He would have you remember today? Ask Him what He would have you do for that person, and then step out in faith and remember them! And know that if you need to be remembered, God is acting on your behalf this very moment, even if no one else on earth is.

Perfect Timing

2006-09-23T00:14:00.000-06:00

Galatians 1:15-16
When God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man.

It’s a difficult concept to grasp, that God has set us apart from birth and called us by His grace. We tend to think of the salvation “transaction” as one based upon our choosing Him, and neglect the fact that He has also chosen us. I will not even pretend to understand how that all works, and that is not the point here today.
What I love about this passage is how God makes it very clear that He reveals His Son to each and every person at just the right time – a time of His choosing. If you know the story of Paul’s conversion (his name was Saul at the time), you will know that he was converted after playing a vital role in the stoning to death of Steven, a Christian. Paul was taking it upon himself to persecute any and every Christian he could, all in the name of God! Finally, Jesus revealed Himself to him on the road to Damascus, at just the perfect time, exactly when it pleased Him to do so. He could have revealed Himself before the death of Steven, and yet He did not, for whatever reason. I wonder if Paul ever thought about that, wishing Jesus had revealed Himself to him earlier.
I think you and I are the same way. We spend a lot of time wishing our past had not happened. “If only I had known Jesus just 2 years sooner.” “If only my husband had shared with me before we were married.” “If only I had understood what Jesus meant by _______ last year.” “If only…” Speculation is not going to do us any good. What has past is past, and it has become a part of who we are today.
God can reveal Himself to us at any time, and yet He chose just the right time, in order that our experiences would come together with His great power and make us the person He desires us to be. Isn’t that a wonderful thought? I marvel at the idea that all the good stuff and the bad stuff go together to make me the exact person God wanted. Of course, He’s still working, but for now, I am who I need to be, and I trust that God will continue working to make me who I will need to be next week, next year, 10 years from now... And so it is with you. You are who you are today because of your past, and that is exactly who God wants you to be. Let’s grow from here, following Christ to do what each of us, alone, is equipped to do.

A Love Letter

2006-09-21T23:36:00.000-06:00

Galatians 1:12
I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ.

Those of us who have never been to Bible college or seminary or any other such thing sometimes have trouble thinking that we can study the Word for ourselves. We cannot believe that God would ever reveal anything significant to us, or that we could ever understand what He is trying to say. So, we go to church, and we go to Bible study; we listen to the preacher tell us what it means, and we listen to the teacher tell us how to apply it to our lives. We read-along and wonder at their insight and passion.
Guess what. God has that for you and me, too! Yes, you and I can go directly to God and receive instruction, just as those who teach us do. God is not a respecter of persons – He will teach the lowliest and the highest, it does not matter to Him.
What does matter is our heart. Do we have a heart to seek Him? Do we long for Him? Are we driven to the Word in that deep longing to know Him? Are we letting Him speak to us there? Or are we reading the words and checking off “read Bible” on our list of “things-to-do”?
Simply reading the Bible will not produce a change in us. If I were to send you a letter from my husband, a deeply personal and passionate letter, you may read it and think “that’s nice,” but it will not mean anything to you, because it is devoid of the relationship. And so it is with the Word. We must go to Scripture and read it as the love letter that it is. We must read it in the context of our relationship with God and see it as a tool by which He is speaking to us, personally, privately, and passionately. We do not read the Word to simply read the words on the page, but to hear from our God, and to grow in our relationship with Him, expressed through faith.
Go to the Word today and let Him speak to you there. He has written it just for you, that you would get to know Him a little more each day.

Pleasing to God

2006-09-20T22:41:00.000-06:00

Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

This is a verse that I have clung to and memorized as I step into a public ministry of writing and teaching. It would be very easy for me to slip into the habit of trying to please my leadership team, my Bible study, or those for whom I write. I like being liked, I really do, and so it would be easy to use this ministry as a platform for building my popularity. And yet, that is not really what I desire. I desire to be used of God as a catalyst in the lives of my fellow Christians (mainly women) to help them get to know Jesus ever more intimately, to love Him more passionately, and to become “radical and relevant Christians” in an evil and dying world. It’s a big dream, I know, and a dream that cannot be fulfilled even one little-bit by seeking to please the people I serve.
You and I must not worry about pleasing those around us. That is a fatal trap that will lead us no-where, and only end in the disappointment of someone – either us or them, probably both. Rather, we must seek to please God alone. He is our Master, therefore He gets to call the shots. I have discovered in my short-lived ministry life, that as I seek to please God and not men, I put myself out there, doing and saying some things that do not please some people. And so it must be with Christians who truly seek to serve and please God.
Look at the life of Jesus and the early church – they were not always liked. As a mater-of-fact, they were very frequently disliked! Many times, serving God with all that we are will mean losing the approval of men. It is dangerous ground, but I once had a good and wise friend tell me, “Dangerous ground isn’t always bad – Jesus walked on dangerous ground His entire ministry!”
However, I have noticed that the ones who usually disapprove the most are those already in the church. We have our set ways of doing things, sure that ours is the only right and Biblical way. When someone seeks to do things a little different, the religious sect screams “blasphemy” and goes running into their corners to pout and scheme.
Our God is a radical God, of radical means, who will do all He can to reach a dying world. Jesus, Himself, was radical – His ways, His thoughts, His words, His sacrifice – even the very idea of Jesus was radical. And look how the religious people of His time saw the whole thing. Actually, they missed it!! They missed all that God was trying to do for them, simply because they weren’t pleased with the way He was doing it.
Let’s not be those people. Let’s not be the ones trying to please men, and be popular. But let’s also not be the one’s who are concerned that we are not being pleased. God is working, friends, in His ways and His time, whether we like them or not. As the enemy steps it up, so does our God. Just like a chess match reaching its peak, God is setting it up to move His Man and proclaim “Check Mate!” Instead of looking on in a pout that He didn’t use the moves we would have, let’s step up and join Him, seeking to please Him in all that we do!

The Gospel Truth

2006-09-20T00:10:00.000-06:00

Galatians 1:8
But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned!

Amen! I’m not sure there’s really that much I need to say here…the gospel is the gospel, truth is truth. We live in an age when people like to think that truth is relative. Relative to what, I’d like to know? Relative to our own experiences? Relative to what we want them to be? Seems a little too sketchy for me.
Truth, in its very essence must be absolute, or else it really isn’t truth, is it? Gravity is true – whether we believe it or not, it’s there, and if we jump from a tall building we will still fall at the same rate and go splat in the end! It is truly there. We cannot see it, but we can see the effects of it. Even those who do not know what to call it, or how to explain it, know, instinctively, it is there.
And so it is with God. He is there, whether we believe it or not. We cannot see Him, but we can see the effects of His presence (more than you or I could possibly imagine). And even those who do not know Him, still know He is there, whether they would admit it or not.
So, if someone comes along and tries to convince you that gravity is all in your mind, you would think he was nuts. However, we are so easily convinced to give ear to those who would teach us something other than the steadfast truth of God. We must not listen, dear friend, as we discussed yesterday. We see here what will happen to those who try to turn us from God’s truth, even if it’s little-ol’-me (may it never be so!).
Hold fast, dear one, and keep Jesus directly in front of you. Hold the course, and do not let anyone, no matter how convincing they are, turn you from the solid truth found in God’s Word. Meet Him there, and let Him teach you truth – His perfect, beautiful truth.

A Different Gospel...

2006-09-18T23:04:00.000-06:00

Galatians 1:6
I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel.

While I think most of us would not believe this verse to be talking about us, perhaps we need to take a closer look at ourselves. Paul is telling the Christians in Galatia that they are “turning to a different gospel.” What do you suppose he means? I wonder what kind of gospel they were turning to.The gospel, meaning good news, is Jesus – He is our good news, our focus (as we discussed yesterday), our everything. I think, perhaps, these Christians were looking else-where, to someone or something else to save them, to bring them some good news. Pshaw! We would never do that!! Or would we? In this society of free-thinking, and opinions around every turn, it would be hard not to start veering off from time-to-time. We hear something here that makes sense, are told something there that feels good, think up something in bed that makes our hearts soar, and VOILA! we have ourselves a “new gospel.” A wrong gospel. Saved by grace but made like Christ through works – wrong! Saved by grace, therefore we can go out and do as we please – wrong! Saved by grace, so that we can return to earth as a new person, reincarnated – wrong! Really, the list could be endless.
We must remain in the Word of God, friends, allowing God to shape our beliefs. He is truth, and He desires that we would worship Him, alone. We must take everything our pastors and our teachers tell us (yes, even me…especially me – I’m no one special!) and compare it to the timeless words of Scripture. And not just one or two verses – the whole thing. It’s easy to take a word here and another there and make the Bible say what we want it to. No, we must work past that temptation and see beyond all that to what it does say, whether we like it or not, whether we agree or not, whether it makes sense or not.
Have some wrong beliefs crept into your heart and mind? It’s easy to let happen, little-by-little, bit-by-bit. Let’s start looking to Scripture, alone, and all that God teaches us there, what we know to be truth, to form our beliefs, and all that we live by.
Hurry, go open your Bible and make sure all of this holds up to the light of God’s Word!

This Present Evil Age

2006-09-17T23:02:00.000-06:00

Galatians 1:4
[Jesus] gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father.

When we think of the sacrifice Jesus made for each of us, we often think in terms of heaven and hell. He died so that we won’t have to suffer a “second death,” rising to new life so that you and I can also have new life for eternity. However, I think that we often over-look the fact that He has not saved us simply from an eternity in hell, He has also saved us from “the present evil age.”
What exactly does that mean? It means that He has given us a way out, a ray of hope, a protective shield against the evil this world flings at us daily. It means that He has given us that which we need when going through a divorce or bankruptcy; when dealing with the loss of a parent, a child, or a job; when wondering where our next meal will come from or how we will pay the mortgage payment that is now 3 months over-due. Jesus has rescued us from the turmoil and wreckage that the enemy of our souls would have us rot in.
We must keep our focus on Jesus and not our situations. There will always be something bad happening in our lives, to one degree or another, for that is how we are pruned, and strengthened, and brought to out knees. We cannot focus on that which desires to bring us down, and remove our hope. Rather we must focus on the One who offers us a hope that out-shines anything this “evil age” can muster.
Where is your focus today? Focus on Jesus. Focus on His passionate love for you. Focus on His desire to walk with you, and talk with you, and comfort you even in your suffering…especially in your suffering. Allow your pain to lift your chin and draw you close to the One who has come riding in on a white horse just to rescue you!

2006-07-07T23:43:00.000-06:00

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