Confessions

Alright, so I'm going to "vomit" all over you, and spill my guts. :)

My discipline has gone completely out the window!! I suppose this is one of the symptoms I display when depressed. Though I am feeling better (not great, but better), it seems the lack of discipline is sticking with me.

I'm having trouble making time in the morning for God. I'm having trouble with my eating and my sleeping (while those may not seem like bad things, they are when I over-indulge, and that is my issue right now). Even my spending is starting to spin out-of-control! And I just feel hopeless, like there is nothing I can do to get back on track.

So, as you can see, I could really use your prayers right now. I know that God is in all of this, somehow, yet I can't seem to see Him. I want to desire Him and His Word above all, but right now I just want to eat, sleep, and shop. Sounds a bit like a baby, doesn't it? UGH! That's what I feel like I'm being right now.

On top of this, I am trying to prepare for a lesson I'm teaching on June 13 for our church's Summer Bible Study for women. I'm trying to get homework written for the lesson, and I'm trying to get going for the fall study I'm writing . . . it all just seems like too much, and I'm beginning to wonder if it will happen at all. So, I'm just having to completely trust God to work in and through all of this, somehow. I know God will do it. I know He will.

OK, sorry to completely rain on your parade today. Like you don't have enough of your own problems to think about, now I've dumped all of mine on you. The really silly thing is that my problems really aren't very problematic at all, in the whole scheme of things. When compared to what people in other countries face, my stuff seems so stupid. Yet, these problems are mine, and that makes them more difficult, miserable, and, well, mine. I feel like they are affecting my effectiveness for God, and I really HATE that!!

Well, I'd better let you go . . . I need to get my daughter ready for a birthday party and get on with my day. May you be blessed today in all that you do!

Love - Andrea

PS - Thanks for listening - I feel so much better! :)

Self-Esteem

My heart breaks for people (especially women) these days, as we try to live up to this standard that has somehow been put into our heads. We have these notions of who we should be, and how we should look. Even as Christians we have this concept of how we should behave, and feel, and look, and talk, and live life. We begin to evaluate ourselves and compare ourselves to this standard . . . only to discover that we fall far short.

I am convinced that we need to stop looking at ourselves, and comparing ourselves to this standard or even to each other, and instead begin to look to God. We need to ask Him how He views us, how He loves us, how He esteems us. As Christians, we will discover that He esteems us much higher than we think He does, much higher than we tend to esteem ourselves. You see, He sees us through Christ, and in Christ we are perfect, righteous, and good. He is much more excited and delighted about our victories, than He is disappointed in our defeats.

I believe that anything "self" is simply pride - even "self-esteem." It is a focus on ourselves, instead of a focus on God. If only we can begin to see ourselves through God's eyes, instead of our own or those of the culture around us. It will be through this focus that we will find the confidence we so desire, as the radiance of God, Himself, will shine through us, drawing those around us toward the God who loves them so deeply and so passionately.

Lindsay Lohan and Others

Many of you probably already know that I have a heart for artists, especially those caught up in the craziness we call "Hollywood." Here's the thing - artists are passionate, by nature, that is what makes them artists . . . being an artist, I know that we can get caught up in this passion high cycle. When life is good and things are zipping along, passion is high, and we are happy. But when life gets boring, begins to simply cycle around and around, we get bored and start looking for something else to spice things up. Enter all sorts of stupid substances and activities . . .

My heart breaks for Lindsay Lohan. I cannot imagine how people can live their entire lives in the limelight, up on a pedestal, expected to be the example, when they are human and have issues just like us. I have to say that it is only by the grace of God that I didn't get into drugs and all that when I was in college. The Lord knows it was there, and it was offered . . . somehow, He kept me clean in that respect.

Hollywood needs Jesus . . . I cannot imagine how amazing it would be if these men and women would get passionate about Jesus instead of . . . whatever their latest passion is. Passion misdirected is always bound to take us down a road of difficulty and dissatisfaction. The one's who really break my heart are those who claim to know Jesus, yet they are searching for passion like everyone else. Yet, I know there are those in Hollywood who offer a glimpse into a life lived completely surrendered to God. They reflect a God of passion to those around them . . . God, give them strength!

Oh how I want these artists to see that Jesus is the only One who can take our passion without abusing it, and actually increase it exponentially in a safe and wonderful way! He is my adventure, my comfort, my wild-and-crazy, my uncontrollable, my safe and secure, my everything I could ever need.

Let's pray for Hollywood, and pray for those who need the strength to reflect God's glory onto the passionate, but lost people around them.