Saturday, January 06, 2007

An Answer...

Isaiah 65:24
And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.

I started using a brand new prayer journal today, and this is the verse on the first page. HA-HA!! Doesn't God have the greatest sense of humor? "Before they call, I will answer." (emphasis mine) Hmmm...

I've been talking about God not responding, and here He's responding back "I've already sent the answer."

I think, perhaps, that you and I get so wrapped up in talking to God and our expectations to hear an answer that sometimes we neglect to simply be silent and wait for it.

I remember when I was working and my daughter was 1-1/2 years old, I was desperate to be a stay-at-home mom. I would beg and plead with God daily to make it work. Finally, God was doing a work in my life, and I decided to stop pretending He didn't hear me. I simply told Him, "I would like to be at home with Regann by the time she is 2. You know my heart and my desires, I'm going to stop begging you for this, and just start waiting and watching for Your answer, trusting You to do what is right and what is best for all of us." Within that month we were told her daycare center would be shutting down. Then Chris was temporarily promoted to supervisor, making my working part-time (so we could take turns caring for her) nearly impossible to work out. My last day of work was August 13, 2003, Regann's 2nd birthday.

Yeah, we get so wrapped up in talking to God, pleading with Him, and tugging on His robes, that we forget to simply trust that He has heard us and start waiting and watching for the answer that is already on its way. It may not look like we expect (chances are it won't), but if we are quiet, and truly waiting on the Lord, we will know His answer when it comes, and it will be ever-more delightful than we anticipated!

Friday, January 05, 2007

God is Near

Perhaps it is my clogged ears, from my cold, but I still seem to be listening to a silent God. I had a friend write, commiserating with me about how it is difficult to pray and not hear anything in response. Or else not hear what you want to hear. Amen! I do not think the issue for me here is that God is not talking. I think perhaps, I'm just not listening to what He's trying to say. I'm not "hearing" what He's trying to communicate to me on so many different levels.

First, as a dear friend pointed out to me, I do not take very good care of myself. Even with a cold, I find that I am pushing myself beyond what I should. I need to give myself time to heal and gain strength. I need to take care of myself, otherwise what good am I to Him. I did, you'll be happy to know, start taking vitamins - multi, calcium, and even Omega 3 fatty acids (or something like that - basically fish oil, since we aren't much of a fish family). I think my body is hurting and aching far more than it should be at my age. I go and go and go until I cannot go anymore, and even then I go some more! God has been calling me to slow down, as I prepare to step into another busy season of ministry. Perhaps that is why He's being quiet, so I can get some sleep.

The other thing I need to remember (and I need to remind myself of this one at least once a month) is that this is a relationship. And just like any other relationship it is shifting, changing, in motion. It is growing. Perhaps God was so vivid and obvious to me at first because that is what I needed, that is what the relationship drew forth from Him. Now, however, we have grown more intimate, and so His musings are quieter. I don't know. I know that He is drawing me in, and bringing me along to where He needs me to be, and I have to trust that this is a part of that process. A part of my growth. Our growth into each other.

Whatever it may be, I know that God is here - I can never doubt that. I know that He is here, and that He loves each of us deeply. Every time I even think of questioning that, I just have to think back on my life over the last 7 years or so, and I can see His hand so vivid, so large, that there is no way I could every question Him or His activity in my life. I pray you can do the same!Be blessed, dear one, and wherever you may be on your journey, whether you are right where I am, were once here, are have yet to pass this way, take courage in knowing that God is not done with you yet! He is drawing each of us in to Himself and preparing us for what lies ahead, including eternal life by His glorious side!!

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah
Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Gone Missing

I sit here staring at my computer screen. The minutes are ticking by, yet nothing comes to me. I am blank. I ask God for something to share. Again, nothing. I stare some more, until I finally decide that I want to go to bed, and I'd better just start typing. My hope is that putting mere words on the page will loosen the plug in my brain and allow the great thoughts, full of wisdom and great knowledge to start flowing. HA! Alas, it does not work that way.

It occurs to me that lately I seem to have a lot of times when I am seeking God, and He seems to be silent. I ask for a message, and none comes . . . or at least not until the very last moment, leaving me sweaty and nervous, afraid that I'll mess up and forget something, due to my seeming lack of practice and preparation. Perhaps this is His way of keeping me clinging to Him throughout the message. I'm sure I have much to learn. I also think He gets a laugh out of it, because I inevitably spring a leak in my right arm pit and find myself looking like a T-Rex with an arm that can barely reach my nose, afraid to gesture freely and scare everyone within eye-shot of my arm-pit. (This is no lie, friends, you can ask my Bible study on Thursday nights. I have started buying and wearing jackets for this very reason. I've tried changing deodorant, to no avail. Again, I think God just likes to laugh at me sometimes. And I would imagine that I deserve it, somehow.)

Ah, but I digress. OK, so the whole point of this thought today is to simply commiserate with you over all the times we reach out to God and He seems to be absent. Aloof. Gone. Busy. Uncaring. Not felt that?? Well then, you're the lucky one! I sometimes wonder if I've tuned my ears to the wrong channel completely - God is screaming, but I just seem to be listening to the wrong guy. Why, I ask you? Why do I go through spells like this? It is miserable! There is nothing I miss more than the timbre of God's voice in my spiritual ear. I long for nothing outside of His heavenly breath on my neck as He speaks to me in words audible only to my heart. His presence warms me. His insight is sustenance for my body.

Yet, I wonder if there are times when I simply take Him for granted. His wisdom and guidance become normal, a nuisance to be obeyed or ignored. I run to Him only when I need a message, or devotional. I do not spend time listening apart from my ministry duties, or I fall into a pattern of not being awed by the fact that the God of the universe wishes to know me, love me, hold me, and speak to me. He is so far above me, and I should be nothing to Him. Yet, in fact, I am everything to Him. And so are you.

Tonight I miss Him. I miss Him desperately. And with each word I add to this page, I feel my heart pounding with longing for and the anticipation of the sweet whisper of Jesus. I can sense His approach . . . can you?

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Treasuring God's Word

Psalm 119:65-72
Do good to your servant according to your word, O LORD. Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I believe in your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. Their hearts are callous and unfeeling, but I delight in your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.

God’s Word is so good, isn’t it? I can look at this passage and see about 10 different things I could write on, yet one thing really sticks out to me – the last sentence.

We can see here that God teaches us (mainly through His Word) that He is good, His Word is good, and that learning and obeying God’s decrees is beneficial to us (not just something we do to keep God happy). And while I could wholeheartedly pray just about every word of this passage, I would really have to stop and make sure I could honestly say that last sentence.

Oh, I know I should be able to pray it. I know that I should treasure God’s Word far more than worldly wealth, and I could probably even say that I do. But then I have to wonder – does my life reflect such priorities?

If someone told me I would get $1000 for simply getting out of bed early, and hanging out with them on my couch for 30 minutes while we talk, I can tell you I would set my alarm and still probably get up before it went off. Yet here I am, ashamed to say that I struggle daily with getting out of bed to spend time with Jesus in the Word. This does not reflect a life that desires and treasures the Word of God above worldly riches.

Oh, how I desire to have a heart that can earnestly shout that last sentence! I can think of nothing more profitable than knowing God and His Word better than I know myself. So why can I not put it into action and stay there? I have a million excuses and then some, yet the truth comes down to the fact that I do not value the Word the way I need to.

Take a few moments and pray with me right now. Pray that God would give us a true desire to seek Him in His Word every day. Pray that He would drive us to it, doing whatever He must, brining us to the point where we would give up anything and everything just to meet Him daily in the midst of those beautiful, crisp, crinkly pages.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year!

Hello friends and co-laborers in Christ!

I pray your Christmas was wonderful and filled with the magic of Christ. I had a delightful time up north with my family and all the snow God sent our way. There were some truly humbling, magical times, there were some comical times (generally because yours truly was acting like a goofus), and some down-right embarrassing times (see parenthesis above). I think I can speak for my whole family when I say it was one of our best Christmases ever!

I have been resting, and thoroughly enjoying the break from all things ministry (mostly). I was able to do some reading and take some time to simply seek Jesus for me and me alone. It was not nearly long enough, and yet I am ready to jump back into the action!

So, here we are on the dawn of a new year. A year full of surprises – love, loss, joy, sorrow, great elation, and utter depression. I do not know what the year holds for me or you, but I am ready to go, aren’t you? Rather than making a New Year’s Resolution, I tend to spend this time of year reflecting on the year past and all that God brought me through, all that He taught me. Was the year a success or a failure? Did I do what I felt God had for me to do? Or did I turn tail and run?

I can almost always say that I should be “further” along than I am. I’m not sure I know a single person who doesn’t hesitate ever-so-slightly at least once in a while. Yet, when my year was a good one, full of spiritual fruit and prosperity, it’s always difficult to say “good-bye” and welcome a new beginning. Now, give me a bad year and I am always ready to walk away and have a new start. And somehow, that is exactly what it feels like, doesn’t it? Like opening a new book, or starting a new journal, a new year feels like a second chance, a way to reinvigorate life, and step out a little more boldly!

I had a wonderful year – oh, it had its down times, but it was overall very good. Yet, I am glad to wave it good-bye and see what 2007 has in-store. Good or bad, I know that God has great plans for me, and I can say that He has great plans for you as well. I love the thought that I am one more year mature (I finally hit 30 this year – talk about “mature” – HA!), I have one more year of experience under my belt, one more year of hanging out with Jesus. I also love that this puts me one year closer to seeing His sweet face in-person, and one year closer to realizing His purpose for my life.

My wish for each of us this year is that we would follow God’s plans for our lives wholeheartedly, with no hesitation. I pray that we would step out boldly, passionately, no matter the risk, no matter the blackness that haunts us and tells us to turn back. I pray that you and I would simply trust the One who knows the plan, taking His hand, all while thoroughly enjoying the company!

Happy New Year!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11