Self-Esteem

My heart breaks for people (especially women) these days, as we try to live up to this standard that has somehow been put into our heads. We have these notions of who we should be, and how we should look. Even as Christians we have this concept of how we should behave, and feel, and look, and talk, and live life. We begin to evaluate ourselves and compare ourselves to this standard . . . only to discover that we fall far short.

I am convinced that we need to stop looking at ourselves, and comparing ourselves to this standard or even to each other, and instead begin to look to God. We need to ask Him how He views us, how He loves us, how He esteems us. As Christians, we will discover that He esteems us much higher than we think He does, much higher than we tend to esteem ourselves. You see, He sees us through Christ, and in Christ we are perfect, righteous, and good. He is much more excited and delighted about our victories, than He is disappointed in our defeats.

I believe that anything "self" is simply pride - even "self-esteem." It is a focus on ourselves, instead of a focus on God. If only we can begin to see ourselves through God's eyes, instead of our own or those of the culture around us. It will be through this focus that we will find the confidence we so desire, as the radiance of God, Himself, will shine through us, drawing those around us toward the God who loves them so deeply and so passionately.

Lindsay Lohan and Others

Many of you probably already know that I have a heart for artists, especially those caught up in the craziness we call "Hollywood." Here's the thing - artists are passionate, by nature, that is what makes them artists . . . being an artist, I know that we can get caught up in this passion high cycle. When life is good and things are zipping along, passion is high, and we are happy. But when life gets boring, begins to simply cycle around and around, we get bored and start looking for something else to spice things up. Enter all sorts of stupid substances and activities . . .

My heart breaks for Lindsay Lohan. I cannot imagine how people can live their entire lives in the limelight, up on a pedestal, expected to be the example, when they are human and have issues just like us. I have to say that it is only by the grace of God that I didn't get into drugs and all that when I was in college. The Lord knows it was there, and it was offered . . . somehow, He kept me clean in that respect.

Hollywood needs Jesus . . . I cannot imagine how amazing it would be if these men and women would get passionate about Jesus instead of . . . whatever their latest passion is. Passion misdirected is always bound to take us down a road of difficulty and dissatisfaction. The one's who really break my heart are those who claim to know Jesus, yet they are searching for passion like everyone else. Yet, I know there are those in Hollywood who offer a glimpse into a life lived completely surrendered to God. They reflect a God of passion to those around them . . . God, give them strength!

Oh how I want these artists to see that Jesus is the only One who can take our passion without abusing it, and actually increase it exponentially in a safe and wonderful way! He is my adventure, my comfort, my wild-and-crazy, my uncontrollable, my safe and secure, my everything I could ever need.

Let's pray for Hollywood, and pray for those who need the strength to reflect God's glory onto the passionate, but lost people around them.

A Good Day

I had a wonderful day today.

A group of my friends and family were able to get together and surprise me at a tea house for my birthday! I love surprises!! And what a wonderful one - to be surrounded by such loving women was definitely a lift to my spirits. Ah, the Body of Christ at work. The fellowship was sweet, and the food was really good too (though it took 2 hours to get it . . . no lie . . . no, I'm not exaggerating!) It feels good to be loved. They even got a 2-for-1 - I had a pity-party right in the middle of the birthday party. And let me tell you, there is nothing like a good group of friends to make you GET OVER IT!!! :) I'm so glad they did.

Then, this afternoon, my daughter Regann got her very first Bible!! It may seem silly to some people, but for me this is a momentous occasion! She even picked out a Bible cover that says "Jesus Loves Me." She picked that one out, just because it says that. Oh the simple, wonderful wisdom of children . . . Chris, my hubby, and I were talking on the way to get the Bible about the possibility of my going to Nepal in the spring on a mission trip with some ladies from my Bible study. I'm super excited about it, but we were talking about logistics. It came up that Chris' mom may be able to help with watching the kids so that he wouldn't have to take so much time off. In the end we agreed we would continue to pray and talk about it. At this point Regann asked what we were talking about, and I explained it to her. She asked me "Is it about Jesus, mommy?" To which I replied "yes." Her response?? (Oh, it's priceless) "Well, mommy, if it's a God-thing, then you have to go." Wow. Even now I am floored at the wisdom of it. From the mouth of a not-quite-6-year-old. Oh, how I love that sweet, sweet girl!!

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you my day, and the wonderful ways in which God lifted my spirits. (I didn't even mention the shopping at my favorite Christian boutique . . . shopping ALWAYS helps me!!) I am feeling better about life, and the prospects it holds for me.

Much love!
Andrea

30 Years Old!

I'm 30 today . . . I feel like it should be affecting me more. Really, I think I'm looking forward to it - after-all, 30 is the age of spiritual leadership in Jewish culture. I can't wait to see what God has in-store for me. David became king at 30 and Jesus began His public ministry at 30 as well. Not that I am any David, and certainly no Jesus, but I figure God can do anything . . .

In the mean-time, I'm just feeling spiritually blah. Ever been there? My discipline is trying its best to go down the drain, and I just want to give up in many aspects. Satan is trying to play this depression for all it's worth whispering all sorts of crazy things in my head. UGH!! I know this season will pass, and will help me to be more fruitful in the long-run, but for now it feels like it will never end. And I just want to eat and sleep the days away . . .

Today, in my quiet-time, I was reading from Psalm 92, where it says, " For You make me glad by Your deeds, O Lord; I sing for joy at the works of Your hands. How great are Your works, O Lord, how profound Your thoughts!" Oh, how I wish this described me today. I have been asking God to reveal to me His "unfailing love" for the last couple of weeks, to no avail. It is not that I think His love is not unfailing, or that He does not care . . . He just has something else planned. Or perhaps I am just looking in the wrong place for this unfailing love. Does He not show His love in the way He prunes all the "dead branches" off, so that I will not wither and die, but will instead produce more abundant and beautiful fruit? However, I'm afraid I may just give-up in the mean-time. I miss the days when I truly could rejoice at the work of God's hands - I noticed it every day. When He would whisper His profound thoughts into my heart . . . I miss it . . . I miss Him.

Oh, I know He is still here. He is probably closer than ever - seems it's harder to see someone when they are right next to you, perhaps even carrying you. But that's what I need right now - more than a crutch, I need a stretcher. As He prunes and cuts away all the junk, He will also heal and mend me, and I have enough junk to require a stretcher for the time being. I just can't wait for the day when I can truly rejoice, even, no especially, in the midst of a painful season of "cut-backs," and "down-sizing."

Ah, the joys of 30 . . . strange . . .that is the one delightful thing about today. Nothing like a birthday to make you smile. :) Boy, I'm a real barrel of laughs today, aren't I? WHEW!

Thanks for listening!!

Where To Start??

Hello friends!

It's been a while, hasn't it?? I finished up teaching my Bible Study in April, and launched directly into serving at my church's women's retreat. It has definitely been a season of heavy ministry, fruitful ministry, and exhausting ministry. I have stopped blogging, mainly because I didn't think I had anything profound to say. Then I realized that sometime you don't need to hear something profound, you just need to know that even when nothing profound is happening, life goes on, and so does our faith.

I am actually dealing with some depression. Seems to be common for me when I come out of a season of ministry. I think perhaps this is my time of pruning and shaping. It's time for God to go in and cut off all the dead branches, and trim back the growth I've experienced, all so that I can be that much more fruitfull come this fall. I don't know . . . that's just what it feels like. I am dealing with some issues in my life that I thought I had handled - some feelings that I thought were dealt with . . . apparently I was wrong. I think, perhaps, they were simply suppressed and now the events have come around pulling them up to the surface as God says "It's time - let's deal with this!!" UGH!!! (That is me throwing a fit at the foot of the throne. . . don't worry, He's used to it, poor chap!!)

Anyway, I hope to visit with you more often . . . I'm not even sure you're out there anymore. But if you are, it's good to have you there. Maybe I'll even have a profound thought or two that I can share. In the meantime, let's just do life together, learn from each other, and encourage and challenge each other, shall we??

All my love - Andrea

Honoring and Respecting Authority

2 Samuel 1:11-12
11 Then David and all the men with him took hold of their clothes and tore them. 12 They mourned and wept and fasted till evening for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the army of the LORD and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword.


I find it so interesting and compelling to think of David mourning and fasting over the death of Saul - a man who repeatedly hunted him down and tried to kill him. David even had to flee into Philistine country in order to escape the hand of this king! Yet, at all times, David respected Saul, loved Saul, and called him (even after his death) "the anointed of the Lord." At no time was David ever threatened by Saul's position (Samuel had anointed David king of Israel years earlier, at the leading of God), nor did he ever dishonor him as king.

What a remarkable lesson we can learn here! We all have (or have had) people in authority over us that we do not agree with, do not like, or even just seem to have it out for us! We feel justified in disliking them, dishonoring them to others, and disrespecting their authority. David knew something we would all be wise to remember - there is no authority in heaven or earth that God has not placed Himself. It is no different in our lives. Whether at work, church, or even as a nation, these people in authority have been given their authority from God Himself, and we would be wise to honor and respect that.

The only times David ever spoke ill of Saul were in his times with God. God alone can hear the honesty (pretty or not) of our hearts, and not let it be damaging to us or to those around us. So, if you really need to tell on someone, or complain about them - go to God. For He is safe, and He is trustworthy, and He can turn the tables by letting us see His perspective in the matter.

Is there someone in authority over your life today that you are having trouble honoring and respecting? Take it to God - pour out your heart to Him, and then trust Him to deal with that person in His way, and His time. In the mean-time, let's do our best to respect these people, and give them the honor they require, as servants of the Most High God (whether they realize it or not).

Simple but Difficult

Belated Blessings, my dear friends!

Today, I simply wanted to reflect on a quote from a movie I saw a few weeks ago that has been resonating in my head ever-since. It is from the movie "Bobby Jones" (or something along those lines) about the amateur golfer who won the "Grand Slam" - the only golfer in history. An interesting story, and thought provoking, making me think about why I do what I do. Anyway, at one point in the movie, Bobby Jones sits down next to his friend during a golf match and says "The longer I play this game, the harder it gets."

Yeah, that pretty much says it all. That is exactly how I feel about this Christian journey. The more I learn and the longer I journey, the harder it gets!

Golf is a simple game - get the ball in the hole. Yet there is so much more to it. While that is the focus of the game, there are many obstacles and traps along the way. Not to mention the fact that every hole is different from the last, and must be approached a little differently within the structure of the game.

This causes me to reflect on the simplicity of it all - Jesus Christ. Is my focus on Him, alone. Is getting to know Him my goal? Or has my service for Him become my goal? Or my disciplines toward Him? Or my thoughts and teachings about Him? These things are wonderful, yet they are simply tools - our golf clubs, if you will - to get to know Him, get a little closer to Him with each stroke. If He, alone, is my goal, all else will come with. Yet, if I have any other goal, however noble or beautiful, I will miss the true goal altogether.

We have really complicated this Christian walk, haven't we? We have made it a maze, when in fact, it is a narrow path, traversed by the One who wishes us to follow Him. Yet, while it is simple, it is still difficult - so easy to get side-tracked or stuck, or feel as though we fallen 100 strokes behind. And just when we think we've got it, we move on the next hole, only to find it a little different from the last. I believe that God wants us to pursue Him. And not just pursue Him, but desire Him, long for Him, work for Him (though we do not have to); just as He pursues us, desires us, longs for us, and works for us. It is in the very simplicity of our journey with Christ that it feels so difficult. Sometimes I wonder if we make it difficult, just because we think it should be.

I know these thoughts feel scattered and incomplete, but so does this Christian life. So what is there to do? I cannot tell you that - I am simply thinking out-loud. I believe we must simply follow Jesus with all that we are, trusting Him around every bend, and giving Him all that we have and all that we are. We must use everything within us and around us to get to know Him a little better.