I have been thinking a lot about how we "kick-off" the Season of Giving with a day - a single day - called Thanksgiving. Funny. We spend one day being thankful, and then a whole month asking and whining for more stuff . . . . seems backwards, doesn't it? Seems we should spend a whole month being thankful for all we've been given, and a day, nay a mere moment thinking about what we might want.
How did it get here?? How have we gotten so far off course??
I saw the Nativity Story movie the other day, and I was so enthralled with seeing the reality (or at least this version of it) of what Christmas truly is all about. I was moved by the emotion of Joseph trying to find a suitable place for Mary to give birth, by all he gave up for a woman he barely knew and child that was not biologically his; I was moved by Mary's faith, her honesty, her youth and innocence; I loved that God's plan probably made Joseph and Mary wonder if they were on the right track. But most, I was hit by the fact that God bore His soul that night - He gave His very heart to us in Jesus. Like those moments when you see a man cry who never cries, I believe that the birth of Christ was a very vulnerable, intimate moment for God. Like finally revealing yourself for all you are to someone you are not sure will accept you. God gave us His all, and we spend our time "celebrating" with wish lists, spending sprees, and ingratitude that we didn't get exactly what we wanted . . . . . oh we talk about how "Jesus is the reason" but I have never really seen anyone whose celebrations and all they do at Christmas truly reflects the depth and magnitude of that reality. I wonder what it would look like . . . . I have no idea . . . .
Oh! I'm not pointing my finger at you anymore than I am at me - I'm as guilty as anyone, if not more so. I LOVE Christmas! I love giving gifts, and getting them; I love the decorations, and the parties, and the food . . . . this is what has made me stop and really consider how I have come so far from what Christmas really is. Yet, for all that I am, I cannot figure out how to turn the ship . . . I guess the best way to turn a ship is to turn the tide. I'm afraid it will take a mighty strong current to turn this ship around . . . .
Not that I have any suggestions - just thinking out-loud. Sorry!
Thanks for listening. Thanks for considering. And Merry Christmas!!
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Disciple??
What does it really mean to be a disciple of Christ? I have been pondering and wrestling with this question for a while now. What does it mean to really follow God? To pursue Him?
Does the Bible outline it completely? Or are there aspects that are unique to each person? Are there some common qualities and actions that should mark each and every disciple? I think there are, most definitely . . . but what are they?
I don't know . . . I really don't know . . . I mean, I have my ideas and theories, but are they Biblical? I just don't know . . . I really don't know much at all.
I just know God.
I suppose that's all each of us really needs. We need to let that relationship with Him drive everything in our lives. . . the way we walk, talk, live. We need to be the "Shadow" of Christ, mimicking His every movement.
But again, what does that mean? This all feels so ambiguous and undefined. Oh, I know that people have tried to define it. And perhaps they have, for themselves. But somehow it always fall short. Yet we keep looking, because we are a people that wants 5-steps to this, and 9-sign of that.
I just don't think there is a set formula . . . none at all. And that is really the thrill of it, the joy, isn't it? That is what makes each and every one of us special.
Does the Bible outline it completely? Or are there aspects that are unique to each person? Are there some common qualities and actions that should mark each and every disciple? I think there are, most definitely . . . but what are they?
I don't know . . . I really don't know . . . I mean, I have my ideas and theories, but are they Biblical? I just don't know . . . I really don't know much at all.
I just know God.
I suppose that's all each of us really needs. We need to let that relationship with Him drive everything in our lives. . . the way we walk, talk, live. We need to be the "Shadow" of Christ, mimicking His every movement.
But again, what does that mean? This all feels so ambiguous and undefined. Oh, I know that people have tried to define it. And perhaps they have, for themselves. But somehow it always fall short. Yet we keep looking, because we are a people that wants 5-steps to this, and 9-sign of that.
I just don't think there is a set formula . . . none at all. And that is really the thrill of it, the joy, isn't it? That is what makes each and every one of us special.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Success and God
I know some very "successful" people - people with power, wealth, position, etc. and these people seem to have it all together. They are people who have fought their way from the bottom up, and have overcome problems and issues and fears to become positive, happy, and . . . . well . . . . successful.
I have to admit this is a bit disconcerting for me. I have been taught to believe that only Christ can bring freedom, and He is the only way to get over our problems, etc, etc . . . I'm sure you've this too - even on this blog!! Yet, here are some people who have overcome major addictions and fears all on their own (or so it seems). So I sat down with God and just asked Him "How?" How can these people, through "positive thinking" or other eastern religious acts, how can they have this freedom and success that I thought was only possible from Him. Basically, I was asking (yes, I had the audacity) "why "Jesus," if we don't necessarily need Him in this process?"
His response went something like this:
"You know, Andrea, life with Me isn't about greatness - it's actually about servant hood and humility. And freedom and all that stuff is awesome, and something I want for you, but that's not what this is all about - sure, it's a great benefit and by-product, but is not all I am after. This thing is all about simply being in a relationship. What you have and they don't, is that you know Me - we talk and walk and live life together. No amount of positive thinking, overcoming fears or addictions, or freedom can produce that. That's what it's about - getting to know Me, and you do that by following Me. . . and the more you hang out with Me, the more you'll begin to act like Me, and that produces things that will change the world! Not money, power, success or any other such nonsense, but love, compassion, mercy . . ."
So, these great people may overcome and achieve, but ultimately they are the ones missing out. They are missing out on the most amazing relationship ever! They are missing out on the opportunity to truly change the world!! But, God has a way of coming into the lives of people who have it all together, and messing things up . . . I think I'm ready for God to mess up my life, and take me down the path few dare travel.
Will you join me?
I have to admit this is a bit disconcerting for me. I have been taught to believe that only Christ can bring freedom, and He is the only way to get over our problems, etc, etc . . . I'm sure you've this too - even on this blog!! Yet, here are some people who have overcome major addictions and fears all on their own (or so it seems). So I sat down with God and just asked Him "How?" How can these people, through "positive thinking" or other eastern religious acts, how can they have this freedom and success that I thought was only possible from Him. Basically, I was asking (yes, I had the audacity) "why "Jesus," if we don't necessarily need Him in this process?"
His response went something like this:
"You know, Andrea, life with Me isn't about greatness - it's actually about servant hood and humility. And freedom and all that stuff is awesome, and something I want for you, but that's not what this is all about - sure, it's a great benefit and by-product, but is not all I am after. This thing is all about simply being in a relationship. What you have and they don't, is that you know Me - we talk and walk and live life together. No amount of positive thinking, overcoming fears or addictions, or freedom can produce that. That's what it's about - getting to know Me, and you do that by following Me. . . and the more you hang out with Me, the more you'll begin to act like Me, and that produces things that will change the world! Not money, power, success or any other such nonsense, but love, compassion, mercy . . ."
So, these great people may overcome and achieve, but ultimately they are the ones missing out. They are missing out on the most amazing relationship ever! They are missing out on the opportunity to truly change the world!! But, God has a way of coming into the lives of people who have it all together, and messing things up . . . I think I'm ready for God to mess up my life, and take me down the path few dare travel.
Will you join me?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Jesus Now
Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it?? I'm getting into the groove of life, with my daughter being back in school, as well as my teaching an evening Bible study at my church . . . I will begin teaching a morning study tomorrow, as well. It's exciting, and I am just in love with the ladies who attend!! What a privilege to serve them.
So, I just read a book entitled "Something Beautiful for God," a book about Mother Teresa and her Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta . . . it was amazing!! The woman's joy and beauty are truly what we are looking for in this world - a joy and beauty from God, alone. And I have to say that between this book and another entitled "The Irresistible Revolution," I have had a lot of food for thought these days - heavy, heavy food - the kind that sits in your gut and takes a while to digest.
I've been wanting to start processing through these thoughts right here with you, but have just had trouble figuring out where to start, and how to express it all. My world has been a bit shaken up by God, and it is good - oh so good!
One of the comments the author made in "Something Beautiful For God," was basically that we spend so much time trying to get to know the "Jesus of history," yet this term is really an oxymoron, since Jesus is now . . . He is always now. Coupled with the story of love and sacrifice of Mother Teresa, this made me start thinking about how we do tend to spend most of our time getting to know the Jesus of the Bible (not that this is bad), and no time getting to know the "Jesus of now." The Jesus in the homeless man walking down the street with no shoes; the Jesus in the woman with a drug addiction and 5 neglected children; the Jesus in the cranky store clerk; the Jesus in the crazy woman on the bus; the Jesus in our neighbor, our family, our friends, our enemies. We need to get to know the Jesus around us, through Whom all things have their existence, and all people their life. The thing is, we can't get to know this Jesus through donations, or prayer, or even just looking at them and pitying them . . . we only get to know this Jesus through face-time, one-on-one face time. We need to be willing to get our hands dirty, sacrifice our time, our love, ourselves. We need to be willing to get to know these people, see their worth and beauty, and in-turn get to know the Jesus in them who gives them their worth and beauty.
It's hard . . . I wish I could tell you to follow my example, but to be honest, I'm scared . . . I'm scared to dive in, get involved, and abandon all. I don't know why - maybe because it's not necessarily easy, and it's definitely not all about me and my comfort and my needs and my desires. It will mean sacrifice and tears and tiredness and possibly heartbreak and failure, and yet why wouldn't I be willing to give so much for my Jesus?? Why, indeed . . .
Lord, give us the strength and courage to step out with You, to meet You in those around us. We are afraid to do so, yet we are more afraid of missing out on what You have for our lives. Please, hold our hands, guide our steps, and fill our hearts with Your lavish love, that we would then be able to pour it out again! We love you!
"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." - Jesus
So, I just read a book entitled "Something Beautiful for God," a book about Mother Teresa and her Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta . . . it was amazing!! The woman's joy and beauty are truly what we are looking for in this world - a joy and beauty from God, alone. And I have to say that between this book and another entitled "The Irresistible Revolution," I have had a lot of food for thought these days - heavy, heavy food - the kind that sits in your gut and takes a while to digest.
I've been wanting to start processing through these thoughts right here with you, but have just had trouble figuring out where to start, and how to express it all. My world has been a bit shaken up by God, and it is good - oh so good!
One of the comments the author made in "Something Beautiful For God," was basically that we spend so much time trying to get to know the "Jesus of history," yet this term is really an oxymoron, since Jesus is now . . . He is always now. Coupled with the story of love and sacrifice of Mother Teresa, this made me start thinking about how we do tend to spend most of our time getting to know the Jesus of the Bible (not that this is bad), and no time getting to know the "Jesus of now." The Jesus in the homeless man walking down the street with no shoes; the Jesus in the woman with a drug addiction and 5 neglected children; the Jesus in the cranky store clerk; the Jesus in the crazy woman on the bus; the Jesus in our neighbor, our family, our friends, our enemies. We need to get to know the Jesus around us, through Whom all things have their existence, and all people their life. The thing is, we can't get to know this Jesus through donations, or prayer, or even just looking at them and pitying them . . . we only get to know this Jesus through face-time, one-on-one face time. We need to be willing to get our hands dirty, sacrifice our time, our love, ourselves. We need to be willing to get to know these people, see their worth and beauty, and in-turn get to know the Jesus in them who gives them their worth and beauty.
It's hard . . . I wish I could tell you to follow my example, but to be honest, I'm scared . . . I'm scared to dive in, get involved, and abandon all. I don't know why - maybe because it's not necessarily easy, and it's definitely not all about me and my comfort and my needs and my desires. It will mean sacrifice and tears and tiredness and possibly heartbreak and failure, and yet why wouldn't I be willing to give so much for my Jesus?? Why, indeed . . .
Lord, give us the strength and courage to step out with You, to meet You in those around us. We are afraid to do so, yet we are more afraid of missing out on what You have for our lives. Please, hold our hands, guide our steps, and fill our hearts with Your lavish love, that we would then be able to pour it out again! We love you!
"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." - Jesus
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Kidnapped
I have a confession . . . I am desperately, intensely, and completely terrified of one thing - that my children would be kidnapped. I'm not talking about a normal concern, leading to logical safe-guards, I'm talking illogical, repressive, anxiety-causing, debilitating fear. I often tell God that is the "one thing" I couldn't handle . . . of course, He has a way of talking me "down," and I somehow go on with my life for a while until the fear rears its ugly head again, and the battle wages on.
Ultimately, the fear comes from my not being able to be there for them, to comfort them, and help them . . . I am simply held captive to this irrational fear!! Well, I'm tired of it (have been for a while, really), and with Regann getting ready to start first grade, something needed to be done.
So, God and I had a chat about it - again - this morning. He asked me if I trusted Him with Regann (now, you need to know that I have fought an irrational fear of losing Regann from the moment she was born - this fear does not seem to have extended to Nolan, I don't know why, it's not like I love him any less. It got to the point where I had to lay Regann on the "altar" every night, as I was putting her in her crib . . . well, apparently this "alter" now has a playground, a lunchroom, and a lot more freedom than I'm ready to deal with.) So, God asks me if I trust Him, to which I reply, "Of course, God . . . but (ah, the treacherous "but") but what if you would choose to hand her over to this sort of suffering . . . what if, what if, what if." Now, I'm simply recognizing God's sovereignty here - I am not in any way suggesting that God likes it, or would truly choose for this sort of thing to happen. But I can also see that God is sovereign in all things . . . UGH!! It's a weighty issue for which we have no time right now. :)
Now, I am reading in Isaiah 53, which talks about the crucifixion of Christ, and how He was crushed for us (check it out, if you have a minute - http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=isaiah%2053&version=31) . . . and this is where God took me:
God allowed His Son to be taken from Him, tortured and killed, all while He couldn't be there to comfort Him. Oh, how the Father's heart must have just ached - almost exploded - to hand Christ - His Son, His Baby, His Boy - over to that! To not be able to hold Him, and help Him in His time of greatest suffering!!! And I cannot imagine how Jesus must have felt - the one constant in His life, His Father, gone - driven away be the very sin that Jesus had come to earth to take-on and ultimately conquer . . . . I can only imagine that He just wanted His Daddy, like any child would. It brakes my heart to see the crucifixion from this perspective. To see the sacrifice from a new place, a place where I recognize the Father's agony as much (if not more, as a parent) as the Son's. Oh what a sacrifice!! Truly like none I could ever imagine.
Ultimately, I felt God saying to me, "Andrea, I already went through all of that, so you don't have to. Yet, who better to stand by a parent going through such tragedy than One who has been there too."
We truly do have a God who understands our every need, our every heart-ache, our every pain. Praise Him! Praise His holy Name!!!
And thank You, Jesus . . . thank you, Father . . . thank You, thank You, thank You.
Ultimately, the fear comes from my not being able to be there for them, to comfort them, and help them . . . I am simply held captive to this irrational fear!! Well, I'm tired of it (have been for a while, really), and with Regann getting ready to start first grade, something needed to be done.
So, God and I had a chat about it - again - this morning. He asked me if I trusted Him with Regann (now, you need to know that I have fought an irrational fear of losing Regann from the moment she was born - this fear does not seem to have extended to Nolan, I don't know why, it's not like I love him any less. It got to the point where I had to lay Regann on the "altar" every night, as I was putting her in her crib . . . well, apparently this "alter" now has a playground, a lunchroom, and a lot more freedom than I'm ready to deal with.) So, God asks me if I trust Him, to which I reply, "Of course, God . . . but (ah, the treacherous "but") but what if you would choose to hand her over to this sort of suffering . . . what if, what if, what if." Now, I'm simply recognizing God's sovereignty here - I am not in any way suggesting that God likes it, or would truly choose for this sort of thing to happen. But I can also see that God is sovereign in all things . . . UGH!! It's a weighty issue for which we have no time right now. :)
Now, I am reading in Isaiah 53, which talks about the crucifixion of Christ, and how He was crushed for us (check it out, if you have a minute - http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=isaiah%2053&version=31) . . . and this is where God took me:
God allowed His Son to be taken from Him, tortured and killed, all while He couldn't be there to comfort Him. Oh, how the Father's heart must have just ached - almost exploded - to hand Christ - His Son, His Baby, His Boy - over to that! To not be able to hold Him, and help Him in His time of greatest suffering!!! And I cannot imagine how Jesus must have felt - the one constant in His life, His Father, gone - driven away be the very sin that Jesus had come to earth to take-on and ultimately conquer . . . . I can only imagine that He just wanted His Daddy, like any child would. It brakes my heart to see the crucifixion from this perspective. To see the sacrifice from a new place, a place where I recognize the Father's agony as much (if not more, as a parent) as the Son's. Oh what a sacrifice!! Truly like none I could ever imagine.
Ultimately, I felt God saying to me, "Andrea, I already went through all of that, so you don't have to. Yet, who better to stand by a parent going through such tragedy than One who has been there too."
We truly do have a God who understands our every need, our every heart-ache, our every pain. Praise Him! Praise His holy Name!!!
And thank You, Jesus . . . thank you, Father . . . thank You, thank You, thank You.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Some Encouraging Words
From C.S. Lewis:
"But if you are a poor creature - poisoned by a wretched upbringing in some house full of vulgar jealousies and senseless quarrels - saddled, by no choice of your own, with some loathsome sexual perversion - nagged day in and day out by an inferiority complex that makes you snap at your best friends - do not despair. He knows all about it. You are one of the poor whom He blessed. He knows what a wretched machine you are trying to drive. Keep on. Do what you can. One day (perhaps in another world, but perhaps far sooner than that) He will fling it on the scrapheap and give you a new one. And then you may astonish us all - not least yourself: for you have learned your driving in a hard school. (Some of the last will be first and some of the first will be last.)"
May you find this thought as encouraging as I do!!
God bless you today, as you do your best to maneuver through this thing called life.
Andrea
"But if you are a poor creature - poisoned by a wretched upbringing in some house full of vulgar jealousies and senseless quarrels - saddled, by no choice of your own, with some loathsome sexual perversion - nagged day in and day out by an inferiority complex that makes you snap at your best friends - do not despair. He knows all about it. You are one of the poor whom He blessed. He knows what a wretched machine you are trying to drive. Keep on. Do what you can. One day (perhaps in another world, but perhaps far sooner than that) He will fling it on the scrapheap and give you a new one. And then you may astonish us all - not least yourself: for you have learned your driving in a hard school. (Some of the last will be first and some of the first will be last.)"
May you find this thought as encouraging as I do!!
God bless you today, as you do your best to maneuver through this thing called life.
Andrea
Thursday, July 26, 2007
A Bit of Humility
Well, God has been moving, and I have been so blessed!!
Last night I heard a message at a women's summer Bible study at my church that hit me right where I needed it. Debbie, the teacher, essentially said "Are you so focused on the kingdom that you've completely forgotten the King?" BINGO!! (I wanted to stand up and scream that at the top of my lungs, but I really wasn't sure how that would go over.) I have been so focused on the kingdom, and what I'm doing, what God is doing for me, me, me, that I have completely forgotten to just focus on God. Enjoy God. Be with Him, for no other reason than just to hang out. The simplest, most basic thing, and I had turned away from it. Forgotten it. I wish I could say it was the first time,but alas, that would be a lie. I can, however, pray it is the last (God willing).
So today I have been thinking about my attitudes toward God this summer, and my thoughts about myself. I have really felt . . . almost self-destructive, self-depricating - and that is not a healthy place to be. I can also recognize in my life an arrogance that I believe goes back to my theater training, and trying to act like I was the best so as to get the best part. I just hate it! I hate pride!! I hate arrogance!! Especially when I can recognize them in my own life.
Then it happened. God started to move, and we began to converse. I'm sure, if you have been following my blog at all, that you have noticed a down-heartedness about me, of late. I have been in a really dark place. Again, self-destructive at its core. (By the way, I believe that even self-destructive and self-depricating attitudes are another form of pride . . . essentially, I believe that anything that is "self" focused, as opposed to God focused is pride. It's all about the focus.)
Anyway, like I was saying, I just started pouring my heart out to God. Telling Him how I hated the pride in my life. I just told Him that I needed humility - however it came, however painful it needed to be - I want nothing to do with pride. I am DONE with it! I want NO MORE of it!! To which God said, "What do you think I've been doing all summer?" And BAM!!! it all fell into focus. wow. . . .
God has been giving me some time with myself this summer. (And I really haven't enjoyed it that much . . . again, I wonder, how does He put up with me??) I basically felt like He shut me in a dark room with no one but myself. (I didn't even feel like He was there, though I KNOW He was.) By forcing me to spend some time in introspection, He was reminding me that there is NO GOOD THING in me. Anything good in my life - ANYTHING (even those things that don't generally get labelled "spiritual") is all of Him, and Him alone. I am nothing without Him. I truly am no one important, a part of nothing bigger than myself, having no adventure, no fun, no joy, no peace . . . . . I feel like God was reminding me of what life apart from Him is like. An apathetic drugery.
I am simply a pen. A useless instrument, in-an-of myself. A pen trying to submit myself to the perfect, passionate, capable hands of the One who is willing to use me, allowing His love to flow through me as ink on the blank parchment of life.
Last night I heard a message at a women's summer Bible study at my church that hit me right where I needed it. Debbie, the teacher, essentially said "Are you so focused on the kingdom that you've completely forgotten the King?" BINGO!! (I wanted to stand up and scream that at the top of my lungs, but I really wasn't sure how that would go over.) I have been so focused on the kingdom, and what I'm doing, what God is doing for me, me, me, that I have completely forgotten to just focus on God. Enjoy God. Be with Him, for no other reason than just to hang out. The simplest, most basic thing, and I had turned away from it. Forgotten it. I wish I could say it was the first time,but alas, that would be a lie. I can, however, pray it is the last (God willing).
So today I have been thinking about my attitudes toward God this summer, and my thoughts about myself. I have really felt . . . almost self-destructive, self-depricating - and that is not a healthy place to be. I can also recognize in my life an arrogance that I believe goes back to my theater training, and trying to act like I was the best so as to get the best part. I just hate it! I hate pride!! I hate arrogance!! Especially when I can recognize them in my own life.
Then it happened. God started to move, and we began to converse. I'm sure, if you have been following my blog at all, that you have noticed a down-heartedness about me, of late. I have been in a really dark place. Again, self-destructive at its core. (By the way, I believe that even self-destructive and self-depricating attitudes are another form of pride . . . essentially, I believe that anything that is "self" focused, as opposed to God focused is pride. It's all about the focus.)
Anyway, like I was saying, I just started pouring my heart out to God. Telling Him how I hated the pride in my life. I just told Him that I needed humility - however it came, however painful it needed to be - I want nothing to do with pride. I am DONE with it! I want NO MORE of it!! To which God said, "What do you think I've been doing all summer?" And BAM!!! it all fell into focus. wow. . . .
God has been giving me some time with myself this summer. (And I really haven't enjoyed it that much . . . again, I wonder, how does He put up with me??) I basically felt like He shut me in a dark room with no one but myself. (I didn't even feel like He was there, though I KNOW He was.) By forcing me to spend some time in introspection, He was reminding me that there is NO GOOD THING in me. Anything good in my life - ANYTHING (even those things that don't generally get labelled "spiritual") is all of Him, and Him alone. I am nothing without Him. I truly am no one important, a part of nothing bigger than myself, having no adventure, no fun, no joy, no peace . . . . . I feel like God was reminding me of what life apart from Him is like. An apathetic drugery.
I am simply a pen. A useless instrument, in-an-of myself. A pen trying to submit myself to the perfect, passionate, capable hands of the One who is willing to use me, allowing His love to flow through me as ink on the blank parchment of life.
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