Would you say ours is a faith of risk? No?? I wonder why that is . . . could it be that we are not willing for it to be?? I mean, it seems to be a faith of risk in the Bible, so what has changed??
I wonder if we have our focus too much on ministry, rather than on God. We are so worried about growing our ministry, and making sure it's "healthy" (by whose standards, by the way?), and wanting to be the next new BIG thing with the greatest idea that will bring in the hoards, and how to we get more people involved, and blah, blah, blah . . . . I wonder, friends, have we missed the boat??? Or, perhaps, we have quite the opposite problem . . . we're not willing to step out of the boat.
I think of Peter walking on water - Jesus bid him "Come" and he did!! He didn't look around at the wind and the waves and the circumstances and tell Jesus, "Hey, you know, the wind is blowing really strong right now, and those waves are awefully big, not to mention the fact that it is pitch black out here!! You know, it just seems to me, by my human logic, that the time just isn't right for this, so let's wait until tomorrow, when the storm has calmed down, and it's light . . . that makes more sense, right?" NO!! He ignored "common sense" (by every stretch of the imagination!!) and stepped right out . . . he kept his eyes on Jesus, ignoring all circumstances, ignoring the probable shouts of opposition coming from his "friends" in the boat, ignoring even the nagging thoughts in his own head telling him he was NUTS, and he (GASP!) trusted Jesus!!!
I have to be honest here, and tell you all that I am tired of fancy-schmancy ministry ideas, plans, schemes, whatever . . . I just want to follow Jesus, and I want to hang out with other people that want to follow Jesus. I want to know that the people in authority over me spiritually in the Church are just following Jesus. We need to stop worrying about the breadth of our ministries!! We need only worry about the depth of our relationship with God, and trust that as the roots grow deep, our reach will grow ever higher and farther!!
We need to step out of the boat! We need to ignore circumstances - often times I think God likes to work in the most strained, most awkward, most impossible circumstances to show off all the more! We need to simply keep our eyes on Jesus, and trust that He will take care of the details and circumstances, whatever they may be.
I am ashamed to think of all the times He has said to me "Oh you of little faith! Why did you doubt?" Probably too many to count, too many to remember . . . not that I want to.
About Me
- Andrea Sipe
- I am the mother of 2 amazing children - a sweet girl of 6 and a mischievous boy of 3! What a blessing! I have the joy of staying home with them full-time, and I enjoy every moment of it (or at least I try). I am passionate about Christ, and I love seeing others become passionate about Him!! I love God and am amazed by His lavish love for us. I feel that His love needs to be the foundation of our lives. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact me. May the Lord bless and keep you today!
5 comments:
Bravo, Andrea!!! I so appreciated and agree with your thoughts here...we indeed get so lost and wrapped up in ministry that we lose our focus on God and in turn just don't step out of the boat. But the bigger issue of risk and trusting God really spoke to me on a personal level and I hope you won't mind me sharing it with you here...and please forgive me in advance if it's not entirely on topic. I just think the whole issue of trust and willingness to risk for God is a huge underlying theme to all of our stories in life.
Recently I realized (or better yet finally admitted to myself) I've lived most of my life trying not to fail. I haven't lived my life to succeed. I have lived my life not to fail, and there's a big difference between the two.
Throughout my whole life, I've done what it takes to just avoid ridicule. Grades, sports, looks, jobs, whatever...I've tried hard enough so that I fit in with the crowd. To try and be the best I can at something is a terrifying thought to me....TERRIFYING. The reason is, what if I fail? What if I invest too much of myself in something that will fail, and then where will I be?
RISK...risk is a four letter word to someone like me. Over the past year, God has thankfully been showing me a few things about failing, succeeding, and risk.
First of all...it isn't about me.
Secondly....It IS about God
Thirdly...He's worth the risk.
He's worth the risk of surrendering my deepest hurts, such as my inability to trust. He's the purest love. He's the perfect healer. He's mercy and grace and peace. Those things do not exist apart from Him. And yet, in my fallen state, I can't seem to trust Him for who He is. But, He demands it. He wouldn't be God if He didn't demand my whole heart, mind, body, and soul.
He doesn't demand and then leave me to flounder in my inability to meet His demands. He meets me there and makes good on His promise to complete the work He's begun in me. He is my hope.
I knew a year ago, that God was leading me to places I have been trying to keep hidden away for a long time. I could tell that it was time to start working on some of the most vulnerable, hurting, and raw places in my heart. It's been frightening. I've been put in situation after situation that have been 1. Completely out of my control and 2. Heartbreaking. In the middle of it, over and over, God has asked me: "Do you trust Me?" "Do you trust that My way is best?"
My responses have wildly varied. One day, I am overwhelmed with peace. The next day, I'm screaming angrily at God in the shower. The next day, I'm in hyper-must-control mode. Then, surrender comes as easily as breathing. The next day, I'm wrestling with God, and feel completely and utterly exhausted. (This doesn't make SENSE! I can't find it in myself to trust you! Help me! GIVE ME ANSWERS!!! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I can't trust you! I don't WANT TO TRUST YOU! I'm sorry I said I don't want to trust you! But I'M REALLY MAD AND CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A WHILE! Don't leave me alone, I feel so alone....and on and on....)
So, here I sit, in one of the harder seasons in my life. I have nothing to show on the outside for it yet (at least in my mind). There has been little resolution to some fairly big issues in my life.
But God is bigger to me now than He has been. He has been faithful. And I feel smaller...in a good way. I don't trust my ability to fix things like I used to. I trust God more. And, people look different to me than they did a year ago. My struggles with my marriage, children, ministry, etc, now have become my struggle with God alone. Do I trust Him? Will I love extravagantly on this earth, and ask for little in return? I will be hurt by people. I will suffer because of extravagant love... but in that, I will see God in a deeper way. In that, He will be glorified, and I will find peace.
I understand a TINY bit more of what His love led Jesus to do on the cross. I give a little more grace, am a little more patient, slower to judge, and quicker to forgive. I'm much more aware of the fact that I have hurt some people. Some of those people have turned and loved me extravagantly. Some of those people haven't, but I am able to release that, and focus on the work I need to be doing to pursue reconciliation.
There are a gazillion miles left to go in my sanctification. After writing this though, all said and done I'm sure I'll still probably make really selfish controlling decisions for the rest of the day. But God will forgive me, and once again He will ask me: Do you trust Me? That's a risk I need to and want to take day in and day out. Pheeew....I talk too much! Sorry! : ( Thanks for the space to let me share... : )
Please keep sharing your great thoughts and insights! I appreciate how they challenge, stretch, and inspire me...as iron sharpens iron... ; )
Thanks, Romi, for sharing!! I love to hear what other people are experiencing in life . . . maybe that's why I share mine so openly. :)
I am right there with you - that's why this topic is on my heart . . . God is calling me to task on it. Am I willing to trust Him?? Even in this situation?? Really trust, that even though it isn't what I want, even though it isn't what I think would be best, that He is GOD, and therefore He really does know what is best?? Am I willing?
Just like you, I am varied in my responses . . . yet He is patient. Amen??
I have had times when God has called me out, and I (whether really brave, or just plain stupid :) stepped out, and I have ALWAYS found Him faithful. There have been times when I have been told to wait - I threw ALL KINDS of fits, only to see that in waiting I got something SO MUCH BETTER than I would have had He given me what I had originally asked for . . . Ah, what a journey we are on. :) It's good to know that we journey with people who are just like us, and with people who are nothing like us!! Makes life fun, interesting, and so much more enjoyable!!
Thanks for journeying with me, Romi!!
Andrea
Always a pleasure to journey alongside another Sistah in Christ!! : ) Thanks for relating to what I shared, Andrea. Sometimes I hesitate to do so thinking (and of course, fearing) I really don't have "anything" worthwhile to say, I'm just adding to the blog debris out there, etc. Yes, tis silly and retarded thinking on my part. But of course during that time of deliberation of should I or shouldn't, the 'ol arch nemesis talks me out of it! But for some reason, God made it clear I should write. I'm glad I "risked, trusted, and listened" for a change! lol Now if I could only do that on a regular basis! lol Thankfully He's beyond patient, AMEN!!
Thanks for your transparency, zeal, and wild,crazy love for our God. Gotta say it's pretty contagious! Cheers to this funtabulous journey we're on!!
Romi
PS: Meant to also tell you I've appreciated all your comments over at the on-line Trib blog! Wow! There's some really eye-opening perspectives up there, but that's what stretches, challenges, and grows our faith!!
HAHA!! I've felt like a realy idiot comparred to everyone else on there . . . I think the problem is that everyone is trying to debate God logically, and really God is so BEYOND logic we're going to get nowhere that way. :) I was thinking about that rare and impossible bloom that bears its soul in the dead of winter . . . we can sit there and try to figure out why and how it came to be, or we can sit back and enjoy its beauty in the midst of the deadness of winter. I believe it's the same way with God. I tried for a LONG time to "figure out" God, until God finally said "Stop trying to figure me out and let's just let's start enjoying each other."
I think that rather than trying to intellectualize God, we need to be emotionally engaged . . . just my "fanatical" opinion, though. :)
Anyway, I'm glad you are getting something from my ups and downs with God - I love to use this place to vent and think through some things . . . and, like you, I sometimes wonder if I am just adding to the cacauphony of voices out there. But, God helps me in this blog, too, so that makes TWO of us who have gained from this. :)
Thanks to YOU for journeying with ME!! Much love to you, and I'll "talk" to you soon!
Andrea
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